Loveless
by Pathatlon
Summary: Hermione is turned loveless, a shell of an empty woman, and is forced to come back to her old life, because of an unexpected pregnancy. HG/SS
1. to touch life

**LOVELESS**

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**Disclaimer: Any character you recognise from the World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling. I do not make any profit from it - it's purely entertainment.**

**Please review**

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**CHAPTER ONE – to touch life**

_ETERNITY: _

_**He who binds himself to a joy** _

_Does the winged life destroy;_

_**But he who kisses the joy as it flies**_

_Lives in eternity sun rise_

_**- William Blake**_

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Hermione Granger was sitting on her bed, head in her hands. 

Never in her life had she been so scared like she was now. The thought of what might come was unbearable, but also she knew what was coming, which made bubbles in her chest explode.

For seven long years had she been in this cell; for seven long years had she slept on an uncomfortable bed. For seven years had she heard everything she had ever experienced, through the Azkaban Guards: The Dementors. For seven years she hadn't seen anyone she knew, she had never had visitors – not that you were allowed. She shuddered unwillingly and rose to her feet. She looked around. There was a small sink, a toilet, and an old bed. She couldn't wait to get out of her cell and be able to take a real bath, instead of filling a cup all the time with water and then throw it at herself after which she would fill it again. She crossed her arms protectively across her chest; she really couldn't wait to get out. A lone tear fell by the memory of the reason for her being where she was. Why did no one believe that she had had to be under the Imperius curse? She would never, in her wildest dreams or imagination, kill or hurt anyone!

'_It's seems the Ministry don't know how to tell the difference between innocent and guilty,'_ the now young woman spoke quietly to herself. Truth Potions were not used to uncover the truth, because it was easy to cheat through it. There's always a loophole.

A sudden chill ran down her spine and suddenly she could hear the screams again. She gasped and tried to stay focus, but with four Azkaban guards it wasn't the easiest thing to do. Screams, so many screams, and Hermione reasoned them to be when she had hurt people. When she had hurt people under the Imperius.

The jail door slid open magically, and the guards moved a bit to give her room between them. Hermione did not know what she could expect; she had only just received a letter, informing about that she would be going to a hearing. She suspected Dumbledore to have sorted things out. She glanced a last time in the mirror, and gave a low sigh when she did not recognise the woman starring back at her. Her hair was much longer and a tangled mess like ever before. Her skin was dirty, though beneath she suspected it to be rather white from not having been outside for seven years.

Her body was slimmer, almost too slim, and her jail clothes were hanging loosely on her body.

She stepped out of her cell, and heard the door close behind her. The four guars placed themselves on each side on her, making sure she did not escape. Honestly, how could she escape? She had not her wand and she wasn't animagus. They stepped out of the ward she had been in, and Hermione breathed out longingly as a ray of sunlight made it through a window further up. How she wished the sun could reach her and warm her cold skin, but the happy thought was removed by another scream, Hermione once again found herself shuddering uncontrollably.

They stopped as they neared another group of Dementors, and Hermione noticed they were keeping a prisoner too. She wondered if he or she was going to a 'meeting' too.

'Excited Mudblood?' A voice questioned before Hermione got the chance to see whom it was, though she recognised the voice right away.

'Don't talk to me,' Hermione snapped coldly, but Bellatrix only laughed at her. She wanted to ask Bellatrix if she knew what was going on, but a reasonable voice told her that if Bellatrix knew about things then she would've been told about things too. She supposed so anyway.

_-Don't!_

_-Leave us alone!_

_-It hurts!_

_-Please don't kill me_

A shrill laughter broke the screams

Hermione gasped for air. The Dementors, now eight, had taken a deep intake of breath, sucking in everything, leaving both women breathless and shaking.

'Hear what you've done! Can't you hear it! Don't you feel bad?' Hermione asked through gritted teeth. Bellatrix smirked at Hermione smugly, before they came to a halt in front of a large door. Feelings overwhelmed her, as did anxiousness, which made Hermione almost vomit.

'Feeling bad, mudblood?' Bellatrix asked, though Hermione could see that Bellatrix looked much paler and sick than she had done minutes before.

'Shut up, pureblood-bitch,' Hermione retorted.

They were silenced as the door opened into the room. Hermione and Bellatrix were escorted inside, and Hermione found herself gazing at least fifty witches and wizards. Her gaze skimmed the room and noticed that there was a high table with several people up there, but she couldn't see the Minister Fudge. Her heart leaped as she saw that on the side, by the wall, sat the Order of the Phoenix. She felt a knot tighten in her throat by the sight of her beloveds, they had come to free her she knew!

'Miss Hermione Jane Granger will go first,' the man in the middle of the high table stood, and Hermione was escorted over to a wooden chair with chains. She looked at it slightly horrified, not sure if she dared to sit. 'Sit,' the man spoke and Hermione's 'own' four Dementors sucked her life energy, making her too weak to stand. She gave a low gasp before she sat down in the chair.

'I, Henry Pierce Bahrat - Minister of Magic, declare this hearing for open,' the Minister sat down, and Hermione was surprised that finally Fudge had been replaced. Another man stood up and cleared his throat.

'Miss Hermione Jane Granger was found guilty in premeditated murder, on 21 muggles as witches and wizards –including her own family- in 1997...' the man spoke. 'Charges were following: 16 years in the Azkaban prison...' Hermione restrained her memory, had she really killed 21 and why didn't she remember it. She damned the Imperius curse for existing. The man sat down and the Minister stood again.

'As said you were to sentence 16 years in Azkaban, and you have now spent 7 years for now for being traitorous towards the world of good. Due some negotiation, you have been granted freedom,' Hermiones heart lifted, but what did he mean by negotiation?

'Minister,' Hermione spoke politely, 'what do you mean by 'negotiation'?'

'Miss Hermione Jane Granger you can choose to stay in Azkaban or begin a life as a muggle, though under strict surveillance and rules. You have been set free in exchange that you will promise never to enter the wizarding world again, your wand with be destroyed.' Hermione gasped and turned her gaze towards Dumbledore, in hope that he'd object to this matter. But, Albus Dumbledore was sitting stoned, not even looking in her direction. She tried getting eye contact with just someone from the Order, but people mostly sat with bended heads or were looking at the Minister.

'How can you do that?' Hermione spoke and rose from her seat in rage. Wands were pulled out and pointed at her, forcing her to sit down again. 'The wizarding world is my home! How can you judge me for something I've never done?!' Hermione screamed uncontrollable and stood up again, but only to have wands pointed at her. She breathed out and ran her fingers through her hair.

'Miss Granger,' the Minister said coldly, 'Your wizarding money are being transferred to a muggle account which has been set up for you. If you ever enter the wizarding world you will put into a cell in Azkaban again. Have a good life.'

'No! I swear I didn't do it! I'm innocent! Stop! Dumbledore, you have to believe me! I would never harm you Harry! Ron!' Hermione screamed. Their faces seemed to unknown to her. They had lost their faith in her. Four guards came over to get her out of the room.

She tried to free herself from their magic, but it didn't work. Surprisingly Bellatrix Lestrange started laughing frantically.

'You should listen to the mudblood,' she laughed cruelly again, Hermione stopped and turned around to the laughing Bellatrix.

'No...' Hermione spoke breathlessly. 'It was you...' Hermione said in a delicate voice and felt like fainting.

'Yes it was I!' Bellatrix stood up; the room was silent. 'You all!' She pointed at every person in the room, 'you think she did it, but it was me! I did it!' She let out a side-splitting laugh again, 'I got my revenge, I got to crack Hermione Granger, a filthy mudblood! Seven years in Azkaban for something she never did!' She laughed loudly and Hermione tried to launch herself towards Bellatrix, but the four guards' magic was too strong and she only lost her strengths.

'You ruined my life! You stupid BITCH!!' Hermione screamed, trying to push away the guards.

'And it was my pleasure...' Bellatrix bowed towards Hermione and all the others.

'Mrs Lestrange, you say miss Granger is innocent?' The Minister questioned.

'Unfortunately yes. I don't want her to take credit for something I did. I would have told you sooner, but I waited for the opportune time, when the little mudblood was in the state she is in right now,' an evil grin spread across Bellatrix's face.

'I TOLD YOU I NEVER DID IT! YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!' Hermione screamed and tried to wrestle herself out of the grab of the Dementors, but with no luck whatsoever.

'Precisely, they ruined your life as much as I did...' Bellatrix laughed and made herself comfortable in the chair. 'And I must say it was quite easy. Poly juice potion and then I was off to kill everyone...' she smiled greatly as if it was the best thing ever. 'Well, I wasn't the only one... We were three different persons to compose as Hermione Granger, it was a lovely time...' Bellatrix's eyes lit up, 'oh wait till you hear the best! You probably can't remember it mudblood,' she looked at Hermione for a second, 'we tortured you for long, really long. The night your dear parents were killed, you were there. I tortured you for a long time and then used a quick Obliviate and got you away. Wouldn't be any fun if they made you remember things...' Bellatrix laughed furiously and Hermione felt everything coming back to her.

_-Don't kill my daughter!_

_-Leave them alone!_

_-Mudblood this is your own fault!_

Her knees weakened and before she knew it, she had passed out.


	2. realisation of an abused mind

**CHAPTER TWO – realisation of an abused mind**

_-Don't kill my daughter!_

_-Leave them alone!_

_-Mudblood this is your own fault!_

_Her knees weakened and before she knew it, she had passed out._

**A/N: Thank you all for reviewing! Keep it up, thank you!**

Hermione woke up; her stomach was aching a bit. Her vision was blurry so she rubbed her eyes, trying to clear it.

She got out of bed and looked around, she was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. Why was she there? She didn't want to be there. Now that she thought about it, she wanted to be in Azkaban rather than Hogwarts. Hogwarts had deceived her, lied to her. Hogwarts didn't trust her; Hogwarts had left her when she had been in need. She had looked forward to the day when she would come back and see her beloveds, but now. They had never trusted her. They hadn't even tried to help her when she was convicted. They hated her.

'Need to get away,' she mumbled to herself and found a robe to wear. Hermione sneaked over to the door quietly, she had to be careful not to be heart, because she knew that Madam Pomfrey practically heard everything.

Once outside the Hospital wing Hermione rushed through the corridors. The pictures were yelling to her to slow down, but she didn't listen. The closer she got to the exit the faster her heart went. She stopped for a split second when she reached the grand staircase, leading down to the entrance hall. Without getting her breath she rushed down and over to the door.

'Miss Granger,' a voice spoke, and Hermione wheeled around and gasped in surprise. She instinctively took a step back by the sight of the many people. Her eyes glanced around frantically; just to make sure they were all there and not _hiding other places_. She had become so edgy and she couldn't help it.

Albus watched the horrified young woman, along with Severus, Minerva, Remus, Ron, Harry, Mad-eye, Tonks, Charlie Weasley and Fred and George.

'Hey Mione, good to see you...' George said in a sweet and trustful tone. Hermione looked at him, she wanted to believe him, but he hadn't trusted her. Hermione gathered what little sanity she had left.

'I-' she spoke while looking at them dimly, and trying regain her sanity. 'That way...' Sanity wasn't a known word to her, she just pointed towards the door leading outside.

'Please stay, we're not going to hurt you,' Ron gave her a weak smile.

'I think you're too late for that,' she informed coldly, and through gritted teeth, when she had gathered what little sanity she actually had left. 'If you'll excuse me, I am sure I can find something better to do than to listen to a bunch of traitors. Maybe drown myself in the lake, see you on the other side,' she turned around, but found the double doors locked. 'Professor Dumbledore, unlock this door immediately. Otherwise I'll have to escape throughout the windows. Not that I care, hopefully I will break my neck when hitting the ground,' Hermione said furiously, leaving not hint of sarcasm.

'Miss Granger, I cannot allow you to leave,' Albus spoke calmly and Hermione sighed dramatically.

'Of course not,' Hermione turned towards them 'can't have the _little girl _kill herself, can we?' She mocked. 'You can't save everyone, Dumbledore! Don't try and save me when I don't want to be saved,' she warned angrily. 'Where's my wand? Has it been destroyed? What am I doing here? I'd rather be back in Azkaban than here with you!' They looked at her hurt, but it was nothing near as hurt as she was.

'Hermione, we tried to save you, to find clues that might tell us the truth...' Remus tried politely.

'Yes of course you have,' she said in a singsong voice, as if stating the obvious, 'and the ministry only put me in Azkaban for a temporarily solution too, right?' She mocked without meeting their eyes. 'Open the door,' she crossed her arms.

'You forget that we have Harry. Harry who shared thoughts with Voldemort...' Albus informed and Hermione felt her heart pump faster, maybe they had tried to help? She refused to give in. She hated them and she hated being back at Hogwarts. She hated looking at their pure skin and she hated seeing all the magic around her.

'My life has been ruined. I've spent seven years in Azkaban with four guards. Reminding me of all the horrible I've seen. All the horrible things I've experienced. Something never made sense though. Someone screamed all the time, pleaded for her life and mine. I never figured out what it was about, until _dear _Bella told the truth. I watched my parents get killed. Now I know whom the voices belong to... Leave me alone,' she ended and turned away from them again to watch the door, hoping that it would open.

'Hermione, we're sorry. Please don't turn away from us,' Harry begged. Hermione didn't respond.

'We cannot let you leave, miss Granger. We wish to help you, please don't leave Hogwarts...' Albus flicked his wand, and the doors unlocked themselves, in hope to show that she was free to leave, but hoped she'd give them a chance.

'How many times I've dreamt of this day. To be united with you, the people I love**D**. Now I feel it's all a waste of nights,' she opened the door.

'Miss Granger, please don't leave...' Hermione turned around and met her old potions master's eyes. 'I know how you feel, I've felt the same for many years...'

'No, that's where you're wrong. The only person who would ever know how I feel is Sirius Black. You weren't convicted for something you never did. You killed and raped. I've done neither but been put through much the same...' her face retreated to a frightened and sad expression.

'Yes, but no matter what, time with heal,' Severus said through gritted teeth.

'Yes and I can certainly see how it's healed you!' She spat unemotionally.

'Please Hermione, don't go...' Harry moved forward, and Hermione stepped back instantly, showing a frightened expression.

'What life do I have? I've lost seven years of my life! I wanted to work at Hogwarts or in the Ministry!' She felt a knot tightening in her throat.

'You're most welcome to work at Hogwarts. In fact, we could need a good Arithmancy teacher...' Albus smiled to her, she snorted.

'Stop that shit! I'm really not in the mood for your jolly good mood! And oh yeah! And then everything would be alright!' Hermione said sarcastically. 'Who do you think I am? That I would simply say yes and run off to the library?' She let out a laugh. 'You don't know me anymore!' She informed detached

'Let us get to know you, Herm...' Ron begged trying his best not to cry. 'You, Harry and I, together again...' many faces seemed to live up a little. The thought about the Dream Team, united again.

'You know what we could start with?' Hermione smiled happily, 'I haven't been outside a door for seven years. How about you leave me the hell alone while I hurry into the wood, with all hope I might get killed!' And then she stormed out the castle furiously, leaving people behind.

'Stupefy,' a voice spoke and Hermione fell to the ground.

'She's not very happy, is she?' Tonks questioned saddened. 

'I think that's an understatement, she wanted to kill herself,' Severus Snape spoke quietly. His voice wasn't sarcastic like it used to be, but touched and _almost _human.

'She's so edgy...' Harry spoke quietly as they reached the hospital wing. 'I...' he was unable to finish the sentence.

'Where has she been?' Gasped Poppy as they entered. 'I tried to inform you...' Poppy showed them over to her bed, where they lay her and removed the stupefy spell.

'What the-?' Hermione sat up in the bed. 'Oh good grace! Can't you just leave me the hell alone?' She rubbed her face and tried to live up.

'Miss Granger...' Minerva McGonagall tried in vain.

'Please don't...' Hermione begged and sighed, 'while all you people got a reward from being a big part in the war, Merlin's first class, I got Azkaban,' they listened to her silently. 'I saw your faces in the paper. I got the paper sometimes, I saw all your faces. All of you. I sat in Azkaban for something I didn't do. But that was what I deserved? Was it? I didn't help you Harry?'

'Hermione that's not true, you were the one to come up with all the plans...'

'I Harry! I came up with many of the plans! I helped you all the way! I would jumped in front of the Killing curse for you!' Hermione yelled, making several shed tears, 'I would've gone with you to the last! I remember everything now! I sacrificed my parents for you! He looked into my eyes! He tortured me! He wanted to know where you were, but I told him that I would never betray you!' She jumped out of the bed and looked at them all coldly, colder than Severus Snape could ever muster, 'He even asked me about you, professor Snape! I told him that I knew nothing about you being in the Order! I could've told him the truth! And the rest of you too!' She paused, 'I lied to him, I told him that I knew nothing about your position in the Order! He asked me if I was willing to sacrifice my parents...' she wiped her eyes and sniffed, 'he killed them right in front of me. Then he tortured me with the Cruciatus for what felt like hours, and then he let some of the other men...' she stopped, 'I never told them a single _thing_!' She said through gritted teeth.

'I'm so sorry Hermione,' Harry cried silently. Albus wiped his eyes and Tonks did too. Even Snape had to restrain himself from not crying.

'We never knew, we tried to find out the truth...' Remus was crying too.

'What am I supposed to do?' She asked quietly, 'I've lost seven years and I have nothing to do. Nowhere to go. No apology from the Ministry, nothing.' She took a seat on the edge of the bed, 'you best hope my parents house hasn't been sold, otherwise I'll make sure that my conviction wasn't a waste,' she jumped down from her bed again, 'where's my wand?' Her tone was no longer Hermione Grangers, but a different, empty, woman's.

'At the ministry of magic,' Albus spoke quietly, 'Poppy, will you please contact the Minister and ask him to come to here with Hermiones wand?' Poppy hurried off. Hermione looked around and found the clothes she had worn in Azkaban.

'Excuse me,' she said coldly and pulled a screen around her so that she could change. Only minutes later Hermione was dressed in her jail clothes.

'You look really bad,' Ron pointed out, trying to make her smile a bit. Hermione sent him a cold glare

'Well yes, the food isn't the best in Azkaban, oh wait, what food?' She said sarcastically. People looked at her, she looked really ill. Her skin was filthy and her clothes likewise, she had dark rings under her eyes and looked like she had never slept. Her hair was long and messy.

The silence was broken when the Minister stepped out of Madam Pomfrey's office along with two other men.

'Miss Granger,' he greeted politely. Hermione didn't respond. 'Bellatrix Lestrange told us everything and more about you. Albus has informed us about your part in the war too. I wanted to give you this when you woke up...' he handed her a small box with a Merlin's decree, first class, inside. Hermione took it and looked at it, she smiled to herself, and then she threw it at the opposite wall, where the glass scattered and the decree fell out and lay motionless on the floor.

'Thank you,' she said sarcastically, 'but why do you give it to me? Because of guilt? Do you think you can just give it to me like that? Or is it because that I deserve it? I don't know what I deserve any longer.' She looked at him sternly, 'what you can give to me, is a public apology in all papers around the world,' he seemed surprised, of course he was.

'Of course miss Granger,' he bowed lightly, 'that would be fit, anything else?'

'My wand and my old house. I do expect no one to live in it when I get back. If anyone lives in it, I do expect you to throw him or her out,' Hermione met his gaze, she was furious.

'No one lives in it. Albus requested that it wasn't sold...'

'How nice. Since you've taken seven years of my life. When I walk the streets of London or in Diagon Alley, I don't want anyone to look at me funny. I don't want any doubt! I am innocent and I want the whole world to know that!' Hermione took her wand. 'I can live of the money that my parents had until I get a job. They owned a clinic, I'm sure I'll have gotten some money from that,' she turned to leave, 'goodbye Minister. Nice to see that you're not a complete fool like the last one, and the rest of you,' she bowed, 'let's hope our roads will never cross again,' and with that she left.


	3. to see life in a grain of sand

**CHAPTER THREE – To see life in a grain of sand**

_**A/N: Thank you for responding. Hermione was put in Azkaban as the Final Battle had been WON, and that happened when th Trio had just left Hogwarts. More precisely: the summer vacation right after! So, SEVEN years later Hermione is 24 and then turn 25 in September... The story takes starts out in the Spring 2004.**_

Entering her old house was a bit of a surprise. But she really couldn't have expected anything else. Dust lay thick everywhere and cobwebs had taken over.

For the first time in seven years Hermione was glad that she was a witch. A few flicks with her wand later and things looked much cleaner, it was nice to have her wand again even though it reminded her of a time she did not want to acknowledge anymore.

Hermione used the first days to get acquainted with her old house again. She also followed up her parents' clinic; she had been lucky that the money from their clinic hadn't been wasted. The more she read about it all, the more she realised how much Albus Dumbledore had done. He had preserved her house and sold the clinic. He had even made sure that the money was put in her vault in Gringotts. As she went through the informations, her account and such, Hermione figured that she'd be able to stay in the house. Her parents' clinic was big and she had gotten a rather large sum of money, most likely enough to live of from the rest of her life.

**God she hated Dumbledore for doing all this. Why did he have to be so freaking _nice_? It was really making her ill.**

She got letters daily from people, but she threw them in the trash. She didn't care about anyone but herself. Why should she? She had packed away her wand and had already looked through the muggle paper for a good job. Unfortunately most required an education, those that had good working hours, and she didn't have an education. She sighed and got up from the couch and then she walked over to the window. It was spring and the plants were growing beautifully. Or not. Her yard looked like hell. Nothing that a quick flick with her wand couldn't fix. She didn't even care if any muggles saw her. Unfortunately no one saw her; a big fence surrounded her yard.

**Blasted.**

Hermione had just taken a seat in the couch with a good muggle book, when somebody knocked on her door. She sighed and sincerely hoped it was the mailman.

'Hello Hermione,' Draco Malfoy greeted politely and with a smile, when she had opened the door. She looked at him for two seconds oddly, and then slammed the door in his face. She shook her head in disbelief, what the fuck did he want? The doorbell rang again, but she ignored it and made her way into her living room again. After ten minutes the knocking on the door and ringing on the doorbell, finally became quiet. He had finally left.

**Sighs.**

'What was he doing her?' She wondered carelessly, and got up. She made her way out into the kitchen, where she poured herself a glass of water. A small sip of water before Hermione took the glass with her into the living room. She dropped the glass by the sight of Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Remus, Malfoy, and Snape.

'So, you can't get in by knocking on the door, so you decide to Apperate inside? Can't I get rid of you all somehow?' She questioned annoyed and bended down to collect the broken glass. She went into the kitchen and disposed it and then got some tissues to remove the water with.

'Why don't you use your wand?' Malfoy questioned.

'Well, mister Malfoy,' Hermione corrected her composure, 'I am not a witch anymore so I don't have my wand,' truth be told then it was lying in a kitchen drawer, she was too edgy to really let it go yet. They looked at her surprised. 'I don't even want to know what you're doing in my house, so please remove you from my sight,' she demanded coldly and went out into the kitchen to dispose the wet tissues.

'Well, when we've talked, maybe,' Dumbledore chuckled lightly and took a seat in the couch, making Hermione moan angrily.

'Miss Granger have you noticed how careless you've become? Pitiful young woman?' Severus Snape asked with almost a sigh, and walked over to the window and looked outside.

'Now we have two ways of how to become like Severus Snape,' she mocked in a monotone and cold voice. Snape shot her an icy glare, but she didn't care.

'You might haven't noticed, but we're on you're side miss Granger. Please show some respect,' Snape looked into her eyes, but noted that her eyes had lost their life. They weren't that beautiful shade of brown, but dark and frozen.

'I'll respect you when you've left and will never be back,' she paced around tiredly.

'Hermione,' Draco cut in and Hermione looked at Draco with disgust.

'I do not believe you're entitled to call me Hermione, that goes for the rest of you too by the way,' she informed friendless

'There's a few loose Death Eaters around in London who's after you,' Malfoy explained.

'Why? Loose?'

'They were never captured, they left the country, now they're back for you...' Albus informed.

'You led Harry Potter to the Dark Lord's destruction. You never revealed any information and that led to his destruction. Now there's seven Death Eaters after you, they want to kill the one who led Harry to the Dark Lord: you.' Remus informed quietly from next to Dumbledore.

'Let them come,' she shrugged and moved over to a window.

'Hermione...' Ron tried.

'I don't care if I'm killed. I'll just hurry off to London and scream where I live...' she looked tired and exhausted. Even though she had been to shower the dark rings around her eyes hadn't disappeared and her skin was still filthy.

'Can't you stop that hateful thing you're playing at? Please? There's people here who cares about you!' Ron had started to whine again and Hermione sighed carelessly.

'I do not care about your complains, Ron Weasley,' Hermione waved him off coldly, 'who's after me?'

'Dines, Eber, Nott, Avery, McNair,' Draco paused, 'my father... and Victor Krum...'

'Victor Krum?' Ron suddenly burst, 'I didn't knew he was a... you know, Death Eater! Hermione's been writing with him!' Ron looked at Hermione, who looked out the window carelessly. She knew Victor was a Death Eater, he had revealed it when they met the second time. He had abused her, hit her, and raped her.

'What?' Hermione turned her head and met their gazes.

'Did you know that he was a Death Eater? You met him before our seventh year...' Harry said feeling slightly dizzy. He too hadn't known about Victor being a Death Eater, but then again he hadn't really been told about those after Hermione, he had just hurried along.

'Yes I did...' She smiled carelessly. 'How stupid I was...' she sighed and paced around the room quietly.

'But...Did he...?' Ron sank a lump, not sure how to approach Hermione.

'Yes, but that doesn't matter anymore... nothing matters anymore...' She said and believed it. It wasn't worth to complain about, she wasn't worth it.

'That's not true!' Snape interjected furiously, Hermione looked at him taken aback.

'I was my own fault,' she spoke with a shrug as if it wasn't anything big, 'I was stupid to think someone like him could ever fall in love in a bookworm like me. That anyone could ever fall in love in me. I've learned my lesson and gotten my revenge...'

'Your revenge?' Remus knitted his eyebrows

'I said I would laugh at him when his precious master died, and so I did. Unfortunately I was dragged off to Azkaban, that ruined my happy mood a bit,' she grimaced wryly. 'And now I get to get a personal revenge, I can't wait for him to knock down my door and try to kill me,' she let out a careless laugh.

'What are you going to do?' Draco asked nervously. She shrugged her shoulder.

'I don't believe in Avada Kadavra so don't worry, I won't kill him...'

'What do you mean by that?' Snape asked quietly.

'What I mean is: No matter who it is, Voldemort or Victor Krum, then life is something we only experience once and that is not something to take away from a person. I would never kill another person,' she sighed and began massaging her temples. 'Now, I believe thanks are in order for telling me this. Now you can leave again,' she gestured towards the door, but no one moved.

'Hermione we'd like for you to come back to Hogwarts,' Albus wished quietly and looked down onto the floor.

'And what? Feel safe?' She let out a laugh, 'I don't feel safe anywhere, not even at Hogwarts. If they want to kill me, then let them. I really don't care.'

'Please stop being so careless?' Harry pleaded from his heart.

'Harry Potter it's not really that easy to get out from Azkaban and start trusting people, love life again! The only reason Sirius Black managed was because that he had a mission, to find Wormtail. I have no mission, only empty words and a bunch of obnoxious Death Eaters who's after me...' she trailed off with a long sigh.

'Then at least try and do the people who care of you a favour and stay alive?' Severus asked and Hermione looked at him.

'What's gotten into him? When did you start being all sweet instead of the bastard you used to be?' Hermione questioned coldly and Severus turned away annoyed. Albus chuckled.

'He hasn't changed, Hermione, this is just a special situation...' Albus informed.

'Good lord. I thought the world had gone mad for a moment,' she said sarcastically.

'Will you come back to Hogwarts then?' Ron hoped dearly, eyes lit with hope.

'Nope,' she shrugged and leaned up against the wall.

'Hermione...' Remus tried, but she cut him off.

'I can't stay with you, don't you get it? I don't trust you and I don't love you; I don't love anyone, except myself! Hell, I don't even like myself! I can't go with you... You're all strangers to me and I am not interested in getting to know you again!' People looked really hurt by her words, but that was the truth. 'I want things to end now, want to move on...'

'But Hermione... We love you; please don't say such thing. We don't want you to die...' Ron wept.

'I do hope you'll change your mind, Hermione. You don't need to get back to Hogwarts, but if you're staying here you'll need to be under observation,' Albus finally said.

'Harry and I can stay here,' Ron beamed happily.

'No, Ron Weasley,' Hermione stopped him. 'I don't want you to be here. Albus Dumbledore this is **not **your decision it's **mine**. Leave me alone, this is my war, and I am not interested in winning it!"

'Miss Granger, with the pleas in my heart I'm begging you to stay alive...' Albus Dumbledore spoke, making Hermione wanting to kick him.

'No, I'm not interested.' Hermione informed uninterested. "Now, go away and don't come back!" She spat unemotionally.

'I, or anyone else here, is not going to let you die. Want it or not we're going to protect you until you want life again,' Dumbledore spoke harshly, leaving no room for discussion. For a moment Hermione felt afraid by his tone.

'Do what you want, Albus Dumbledore, because I intend do as I want too,' and with that she left for the first floor. 

Hermione was pacing in her room, well her parents' old room which she had taken over now, not all sure of what to do. She supposed, since no one had come for her, that they had finally left. A strong feeling of loneliness took over and the urge to cry approached. But the urge was crudely downed when there was a knock on the door. She turned towards the door, feeling annoyed again. Why couldn't she just figure out what she needed?

'Enter,' she half-barked and slowly the door opened, revealing Severus Snape. If this was any other situation Hermione might have laughed. Things seemed to have been switched, he was the insecure while she was the cold bastard.

'Professor Snape,' she greeted coldly. 'I suspect since you haven't left my domain then you have been forced to watch over the _poor child_?' She mocked coldly. Snape rolled his eyes coldly.

'I would advise you to quit the tone, miss Granger, because I'm not watching over an ungrateful brat,' he warned, though his warning was without defence.

'Ungrateful brat?' She snorted with mirth, 'best be careful there, Professor Snape, I am not the Hermione Granger you used to know. Now, leave!' She instructed coolly.

"I have no intentions of a leaving, miss Granger, and no matter what that won't change," he informed sternly, facial expression unreadable.

'I am not interested it life, so just fuck off! I don't want you to save me! I don't want to be saved, how difficult is it for you to get!' Hermione almost yelled in fury.

'I am NOT leaving!'

"In that case," she made her way out of the room, instructing him to follow her. They entered her old room. 'You can live here if you wish, it is my old room,' she gestured him further inside, and watched as he looked around. God she hated him! She hated that she couldn't decide things herself! This was HER life, not theirs! She wanted them to leave and never come back!

'I suspected so,' he informed.

'Do what you want to do, but don't interfere in what I want to do!' She instructed and made her way down to the sitting room. She suspected Snape to settle in, so she decided she'd better head for groceries. She was glad the car hadn't been sold, but the only problem was that she had no idea of where her driver's license was. It had after all been seven years ago since she had used the car. She decided to use her wand a last time, and soon she found herself backing out of the driveway, carefully.

Soon Hermione was on her way back home with the car full of different kinds of foods. She had barely entered the house when Severus Snape came storming.

'WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?' He yelled, making Hermione take a step back. She handed a grocery bag and then went to get some of the others in the car. Snape followed her into the kitchen, where they put them down on the table. 'Answer me, Granger!' Snape spat coldly. 

'I went out for groceries,' she pointed towards the foot, and began loading the fridge.

'Don't you ever leave this house without me knowing about it, clear?' His voice was low and menacing, and Hermione felt like she was back at Hogwarts, a place she rather not want to get back to. She turned towards Snape, eyes blazing and the man took a small step back.

'I do what I want, Severus **Snape**, and you can do what you want,' her voice was low, but her eyes were piercing. 'I am not interested in life and I haven't asked you to stay. Let me make one thing clear to you,' her voice was still low, but full of danger and coldness, 'I am my own master and I do what I do and when I want to do it, clear?' She whispered and then turned to load the fridge with more food.

'I am risking my life being here with you, and I am not interested in protecting someone who just leaves the house when she wants!'

'_Snape _are you deaf?' Hermione raised an eyebrow, and Snape bubbled with anger, 'I told you I am not interested. Get it, okay?' She raised both brows, and Snape turned on his heel and left the kitchen.

Hermione let out a low sigh and then entered the sitting room, where she turned on the TV and found a good DVD to watch. Somehow she felt like watching something sad, so she decided to watch Titanic. Somehow she felt like that big ship. She was big, ugly, and she was definitely sinking.

'What is that?' Somebody asked and Hermione turned around surprised and met Severus Snape.

'What are... Forgot you were here...' she turned around in the couch again, and fixed her eyes on the television. 'It's a movie, Titanic,' Severus sat down next to her in the couch, looking at the television fixed.

'Wow...' He mumbled astonished as he watched the movie. 'Why the odd name?' He questioned conversationally.

'Some big boat sank in 1914 and 1200 people died. It was one of the biggest accidents in history at that time... so tragic...' though it would probably sound more terrible if she let her feelings into it instead of speaking careless of it. She felt Snape's gaze upon her. 'The movie is made by the Americans, obviously since all horrible situations are twisted with some lust, love and sex. Look at Pearl Harbour and so many others,' she shook her head lightly. 'Bastards,' she mumbled and turned to the movie again. 

The following days were odd. Hermione rarely spoke, though Snape tried to get her to talk. Sometimes she felt glad that he tried so hard, because it made her feel happy, but then the happy feeling was destroyed upon remembering why he actually did things: because Dumbledore had told him to.

They ate together throughout the day, but again conversation was silenced. Snape would question something and Hermione would answer shortly, ending the conversation.

Normally they spent the days on watching movies or using the net. Hermione taught him how to use the DVD, VCR, and the Internet, but her voice never left the monotone stage.

As the days went she came to appreciate that she had his company. He demanded a few rules to be kept, but she did what she did, and otherwise let her be in demand, which she was grateful for. One if his demands were that she wasn't allowed to leave the house without him, so she of course took him on a ride in her car when going for groceries. God she loved how he acted in a car, completely insecure.

'Relax, Severus Snape,' she said monotonously, a tone, which she hadn't changed yet.

'This is lethal!' Snape informed horrified, as they made their way back to the house. Hermione did not respond, but truth be told then Severus hadn't expected her to either. He knew she never spoke unless necessary. It was a bit annoying sometimes, but he tried his best to respect her wish of control. In the beginning he had complained to Dumbledore for having to 'baby-sit' Granger, but after having watched Titanic with her things seemed to loosen. Her found her company much nicer and when he decided to look through the books, which the room he had borrowed from her contained, and then he was actually surprised to find such interesting titles. Not only were there a lot of magical books about potions and such things, but she also held literature.

* * *

After a few weeks Severus came to enjoy staying with Hermione Granger. Their meals might be silent, but it was a pleasant company anyway. Yes she might seem distant, but that was mostly when you spoke to her. Otherwise Severus and Hermione had spent hours together, sitting and reading in the couch together, just enjoying the silence.

Of course Severus had peeked over the book, or the plate at dinner, and sighed mutely by the ever-lasting dark rings around her brown eyes. He had noticed she had gained weight, which was something he was pleased about. He didn't like to see her as skinny as she had been when she had gotten out. As much as she probably tried, then she still couldn't loose the ill look she wore. Seven years in Azkaban had taken its toll on the girl, no, woman, and Severus found himself saddened that things went the way they did. She had such great potential and was she really going to be something great, but then she got locked up and her personality, her life, and her mood was ruined completely.

'I enquire to why you're watching me, Severus Snape,' Hermione questioned without taking her eyes off the book she was reading in. Another thing about Hermione: she didn't call one by the first name or surname anymore, not even her friends. She used the whole name now, distancing herself from people.

'I merely wondered where we're standing,' he replied, not taking his eyes away from his book.

'You're my lovely babysitter, Severus Snape, what more do you want?' Truth to be told then Hermione wanted more, just a bit more. Sometimes, when she lay in her bed at night at fell insecure, she felt like going to his room to stay, hide by him, and make him comfort her. She looked over the tip of her book and saw his retreated expression. He wanted more too? A few times they had flirted, but it hadn't been much. Mostly when she cut out from the monotone voice and entered a politer voice or teased him lightly. Sometimes their flirt was going through their innocent bickering and cold comments.

'Lovely? That was new,' he commented, lack of better to say.

'You are a lovely poppy,' she spoke monotonously and Snape snorted lightly with mirth.

'Am I really? Care to walk me?'

'I can't, I'm not allowed to go outside,' she explained carelessly and again Snape chuckled lightly.

And so this was the beginning of a new life for Hermione. Not only was she free, but also she had gotten a new friend, though she pretending not to be interested.

* * *

Almost two months had gone by and Hermione and Severus really got along. She wouldn't say that she trusted him, too soon, but she definitely felt more comfortable with him. Maybe it was the way he acted, normal. It was what she needed instead of pity.

'What are you doing?' Someone asked and Hermione turned around, face rather red.

'Dri- hick- ing,' she informed and made a salute with her glass towards him. 

'Why are you getting drunk, Hermione?' Severus Snape neared the couch, which Hermione was sitting in. It was two in the morning and he had awoken upon needing to go to the bathroom. That was when he head low music and decided to check who was in the sitting room. Though he didn't really have a hard time to guess who it was, since it was only those two... Unless some Death Eater had turned on the music before attacking them.

'Because I want to forget my miserable life,' she giggled lightly. 'Want to forget yours too?' She gestured towards the kitchen, where he could fetch a glass.

'My life is perfectly fine, thank you,' he informed her coolly.

'Is it? I was under the impression that your life is rotten as always, especially since you're stuck with me now,' she let out a hollow laugh.

'Hermione you know perfectly well that I like to be here. Don't you think you should ease on the goods?'

'No, I don't,' she smiled and poured some more. 'Come have a glass, Severus Snape,' she asked and Hermione went to get another glass in the kitchen. Severus Snape only sipped lightly, knowing it wouldn't be good to get drunk. He had to look out for Hermione, but unfortunately things didn't go the way they should. Apparently Hermione was very good at drinking, or she had cheated, and didn't get as fast drunk as he did. After a few shots Severus had forgotten about his promise to be clear and take care of her, and was now drinking and having fun with her instead. Though not soon after Severus Snape found himself being kissed intensely by Hermione. Her hands were moving around on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and pants, and more surprisingly how his own hands were moving around on her, fumbling to get her clothes off.

'Hermione...' Severus Snape whispered hoarsely.

'Severus Snape,' Hermione whispered back intense, which made Severus moan lightly and then kiss her neck. This was a bad thing they were doing, but the wanting for her and the unclearness had taken over his mind. Severus Snape moaned deep in pleasure as Hermione released his pulsing cock and put it into her mouth. Severus Snape moaned harder and Hermione let him go, after which she moved lightly and let herself slide down over his hard and throbbing erection. Severus Snape moaned deeply again, as did Hermione, as her flesh surrounded his cock and slowly they began rocking up and down gently in rhythms.

* * *

A few days later Severus had set the table, while Hermione had cooked dinner.

'Have you talked with professor Dumbledore?' Hermione finally broke the silence. It was a question, which had been bugging her for quite some time.

'Why?' He asked and swallowed some meat. She didn't respond. 'Yes I have. I report to him...' Severus wasn't sure about this whole thing. Hermione might think that the only reason for him staying was because of Dumbledore. But that wasn't the truth. He liked to be around her, she was interesting. Then there also was the problem about them having sex. He wasn't sure about how Hermione was looking at things. He suspected that she remembered it, but how she took things was a mystery to him. 'He asked if I wanted to come back to Hogwarts during the exams and let somebody else stay here with you...' he watched her reaction, she shifted uneasily in her chair, she felt the same as he.

'You're free to leave, Severus Snape,' she said emotionless.

'I declined it. Would love to ruin the little annoying brats exams, but I like to be here with you...' he didn't meet her gaze. He wanted to stay with her. He felt slightly sad that she didn't respond, but he had also learned that often when she didn't respond then it was because that she meant that same as he.

'Lucky brats,' she finally commented when she had finished eating. Hermione gathered the plates with Snape and then they went into the kitchen to clean.

A loud _'bang' _broke the silence, and Hermione quickly got her wand from the kitchen drawer, while Snape got his from his pocket, and they went into the sitting room.

**'SHIELD!'**

**'Expilliarmus!'**

**'STUPEFY!'**

**'Shield!'**

**'Crucio!'**

**'AVADA KADAVRA!'**

**'AVADA KADAVRA!'**

**'SHIELD!'**

The words were yelled so fast, flashes of light lit up the living room and everything became quiet.

**REVIEW! COME ON! MAKE MY DAY!**


	4. confession of broken soul

**CHAPTER FOUR – confession of broken soul**

'_SHIELD!'_

'_Expilliarmus!'_

'_STUPEFY!'_

'_Shield!'_

'_Crucio!'_

'_AVADA KADAVRA!'_

'_AVADA KADAVRA!'_

'_SHIELD!'_

_The words were yelled so fast, flashes of light lit up the living room and everything became quiet._

* * *

**_A/N: I thank you all for reviewing! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am terribly sorry that I am slow at updating, but so it goes. I'd like to inform readers that I am sorry for my errors concerning writing, but my native tongue is Danish and I have NO relatives in any English speaken countries. Hope you'll forgive me for the mistakes you find, and I promise I will look for the mistakes and correct them the best I can. I don't want a BETA you see, so yeah... Well ON WITH THE STORY!_**

* * *

'Well, well, well. Been in Azkaban for seven years, but you're still very fast, miss Granger,' the voice of Lucius Malfoy laughed coldly. 'And you, Severus... Blood traitor...' they were surrounded by seven Death Eaters.

'Cowards, scared of showing your true identity?' Hermione mocked them coolly. Severus could've kicked her. What was she doing? Encouraging them to kill her and him faster? Lucius took of the mask, and the others did the same.

'You might know some of us, mudblood, Victor over there perhaps?' He laughed and Victor sent off an airily kiss towards her.

'Nice to see you again, _Vicky_,' Hermione greeted sweetly, the look in Victors eyes were precious.

'Shut up Mudblood! Don't van't to be raped and tortured, do you? You should be used to it by now,' he said with a very bad accent, and laughed.

'Learn proper English before you speak to me again, Vicky!' Hermione mocked him and Severus stamped on her foot lightly to make her shut up.

'This will be a truly pleasure. You, Severus, will watch as we abuse your little friend, then we'll torture her and then kill her in front of you. I can't wait to get started...' Lucius smiled cruelly. Hermione was shaking, not of anxiety, but of hatred. Blasted wizard. 'I am quite sure Victor would love to play with you again, Granger, and not only him...' they all laughed, Hermione felt how Severus restrained himself from not doing anything stupid. She took his hand and squeezed it gently, to tell that it would be okay, not even thinking that this was the first contact she had had with a human for seven bloody years.

'Maybe we can do something so that the mudblood comes in Azkaban again, was it nice being there?' McNair asked cruelly.

'You'll find out by yourself soon!' Hermione warned callously.

'Must've been rough.' One of the others said rocking his head from side to side dully, not even reacting to her answer.

'Being raped all the time,' Lucius smiled a thin smile. Hermione squeezed Severus's hand tighter.

'Herm-own-ninny,' Victor laughed her name, Hermione couldn't hold back a great shudder by the name.

'Bulgarian moron I would advise you to shut up the fuck up!' Hermione nearly yelled. All the Death Eaters laughed at her, except Victor who moved forward and slapped her hard. Severus tried to do something, but was too late.

'Relax Severus. You might give us the impression that you care,' Lucius laughed. 'It's just a name, Granger. But I guess it brings back memories. Victor has told all about his time with you, details. I can't wait to see you naked myself. He told you have an incredible body!' They laughed at her, mocked her coldly.

It all happened in a flash of a second. Spells were sent off, and moments later there lay seven Death Eaters on the floor, well some had been sent into the wall, and were bleeding from their head.

'Maybe you should check your reflexes, you're just as bad at duelling as your son is at Quidditch!' Hermione mocked and body-locked them all an extra time. 'For an ex-Death Eater, you're awfully quiet Severus Snape,' Hermione said as she collected the Death Eaters' wands.

'It just happened incredibly fast,' he said trying to get his mind to work again.

'You wanted me to tell them that I was going to stupefy them?' She let out a small laugh.

'You could've killed us...' Severus mumbled quietly.

'Yes, look at the irony. Every time you want to die, you never die. When you want to live, you die. Here I thought you'd be happy for saving your butt, but instead you complain,' she looked at one of the Death Eaters.

'I'm not awake...' he mumbled and rubbed his eyes. It had gone too fast everything. People laughing and suddenly flashes of light. He used to be good at acting fast. Maybe it was because of all the talking, the way they had mocked Hermione. He shuddered.

'Are you alright?' He asked concerned.

'Yes, fantastic. It's not every day some stupid bastards reminds me of a time I wish to forget. Get Dumbledore, the Minister, whatever...' she walked over to a window.

Within ten minutes, Hermiones house was crowded with Aurors, Dumbledore, the Minister, and some from the Order of the Phoenix.

'I am so glad that you saved her, Severus,' Hermione heard the Minister say relieved.

'Minister, I didn't do a thing. It was Hermione who saved me. They had surrounded us, she acted fast and stunned them all within a second!' Severus said still a bit dim. It seemed the room fell quiet. Hermione turned around, Arthur Weasley, Ron, Harry, Bill Weasley, Mad-eye, Remus and Tonks were looking at her along with Dumbledore and the Minister.

'You saved Severus's life?' Albus asked surprised.

'I'm a big girl, I can handle things myself...' Hermione defended herself, she felt uncomfortable. A feeling inside wanted to know if she was going to be sent back to Azkaban, she knew she wouldn't, but she couldn't help feeling it anyway. 'Are you going to send me back to Azkaban now?' She half-mocked and then turned away again.

'No. Are you sure you still won't receive Merlin's decree, first class?' The minister asked, hoping that she would accept it. She deserved it. He knew that now.

'I did it because I had to. If anyone should die because of them then it would be me and not Severus Snape,' she informed cold, 'I'd like to know what punishment Victor Krum will get...' She bit her lip, she didn't want him to go unpunished or just get five years in prison for attempted murder or something.

'The same as the others.'

'Whatever...' She said trying to steady herself; she wanted him to suffer more than just Azkaban.

'Minister,' Severus suddenly spoke, 'I'd like you to trust me when I tell you that Victor Krum deserves more than just Azkaban. I think Albus would agree on that too...' The Minister looked at Albus, who was nodding.

'What do you have in mind?' The Minister asked, and Severus looked at Hermione.

'Azkaban for life; his fortune should be given to help those in need. His house sold and just like everything else he owns...'

'Miss Granger, that's really something big. May I ask why?'

'I met him on my fourth year of Hogwarts. I wrote with him and in the summer vacation just before my seventh year, we met. He abused me in more ways than one. Used the torture curse, hit me, and raped me...' People were surprised to hear the careless and uninterested voice she spoke with around such delicate matters. It seemed she had really lost her interest in this.

'Why haven't this been reported?'

'Would you have believed me?' She asked interested, the Minister could see the point.

'Very well, the sentence will be granted. What about the rest? Have they...?'

'Lucius Malfoy could need a good punishment too,' she said simply and walked outside and into her yard. It was kinda chilly, but she didn't mind. Rather that than staying inside with all the others.

'Hermione,' a voice spoke, Severus had left the house to find her in the small garden.

'What may I do for you, Severus Snape? You can actually make it back for the exams,' she said in a careless and cold voice.

'You can't fool me,' Severus enlightened her.

'What a shame...' she informed carelessly and walked away. She had become too close to him and attached, it was too much. She didn't need him; she didn't need anyone.

'Hermione,' Snape asked and moved to her again. He wanted to hug her, but he knew she didn't like body-contact. Hermione had heard him use her given name many times, but never with the care like now. 'I want to stay with you...' she didn't turn around, feeling too uncomfortable. Yes she wanted him to stay too, but she didn't feel ready or secure enough. Things were going too fast. You can't just start up a new life after having spent seven years in the Azkaban prison.

'I do not need your love or care, not from anyone, but myself. Leave with your friends and let me be,' she spoke, though this time, for the first time in seven years, her voice was full of emotions. Severus was standing behind her dumbstruck, but he could hear the emotions. He knew one day Hermione would be his, she just needed time like he had needed too.

'I advise you to contact me often, because otherwise I'll be back. You might not be able to start up a life again after having spent seven years in Azkaban, but I am here with you to help you. With the love we hold for each other we can make it,' and then he left, leaving Hermione breathless. What love? Was she really in love with him? Was he in love with her? Obviously! She wasn't ready for such proclaim.

'Hermione,' another voice spoke and she recognised it as Harry Potter's. 'Are you coming?' What made him think that?

'What makes you think I am coming, Harry Potter,' she turned around and was startled, unnoticed, by several people from the Order, except Severus Snape who was inside her house.

'Hermione,' Remus asked.

'Death Eaters has been caught, Remus J. Lupin, but that does not change my opinions or wishes,' she informed unemotional. 

'When will we have you back then?' Ron questioned quietly from next to Harry.

'Hermione Granger, the witch, is dead,' she responded carelessly and played with her hair lightly. 'Can't you see it?' She asked softly and looked into their eyes.

'I can't,' Tonks said quietly. 'I still see those sparkling brown eyes, soft curved face, brown messy hair, as the Hermione Granger I knew had,' Tonks gave her a smile, but Hermione did not respond it. As much as she wanted to trust and be with them, then she found the possibility out of reach, not to mention that she wasn't interested.

'I suppose you're right,' Hermione pulled out her wand, which she had held since the Death Eaters had attacked, and caressed it lightly. 'I am a witch,' she looked at her wand. 'But I am unknown to you as you are unknown to me. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley,' she looked at her formerly friends, 'you are married now, and leads a life without me, as goes for the rest of you. I am quite sure you'll be able to pick up your life again and live on,' she turned away from them.

'Maybe, but we want you to be in our lives to make things complete,' Remus informed her sadly.

'Then it seems you will never have a complete life. Goodbye magical beings,' she watched an all too green apple on an apple tree near her.

**

* * *

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	5. remember the last

**CHAPTER FIVE – remember the last**

**_A/N: Thank you that you don't take me up on my spelling mistakes since, onve again I mention it, I am not English. And to all those who has taken the time to review: THANK YOU!_**

**_To Andersen, who wrote in Danish to me: skriv en mail til mig, det er altid fedt at høre fra andre danskere herinde!_**

**_NOW: On with the story!_**

Hermione was sitting in her couch a summer morning, 1st of May 2004.

This day, seven years ago, Hermione had prepared to take her NEWT exams. Harry and Ron begged for her notes, but she refused to let them borrow them. The war was going on and when the exams were over Hermione would be going home to her parents and Harry and Ron would go to stay at the Headquarter. She would be going there too, but not until she had stayed with her parents for a while.

Unfortunately things hadn't gone as planned. When her parents picked her up at the train station they told that they would be going to the summerhouse right away. Hermione had always loved the summerhouse; it was near the sea so she couldn't wait.

However, since Hermione didn't own an owl she didn't have the possibility to write to Harry and Ron to tell them, and it seemed that they didn't find the need or urge to write to her, because no letters were sent to her.

After twelve days something odd happened. Hermione had been confused and stressed over that she hadn't heard from Harry or Ron, or any of the Order, so she decided to call the Ministry of Magic, who had a phone number for those who didn't have a Floo connected fire or didn't Apperate. Not that she ever got as far as to the phone, because when she entered the house again, after having sat by the sea, Hermione was attacked by Death Eaters, who took her wand.

Soon she found herself kneeling to Voldemort, a man she had never met, but had been trained well to be able to fight, mentally and physically. But, nothing she had been taught was going to be useful as she lay on the floor, except Occlumency. A few feet away, in a corner of the sitting room, sat her parents, looking frightened.

'_Don't worry, mum, dad,' Hermione comforted her parents. _

So many Cruciatus curses, so much hurt and anger, so many words and threats.

'_Are you willing to sacrifice your parents for Harry Potter?' Voldemort's cruel voice spoke._

What should she have said? She couldn't tell where Harry Potter was. Yes, he was at the Headquarter and protected by the Fidelius Charm, but even then there was ways to find a way to him, through his doings and plans. No chance to protect herself or get her parents away, they were rudely murdered and Hermione found herself being kidnapped.

For days she was tortured with curses and raped by so many men then she had completely lost track. A few times she had wondered why there was no one from the Order, like Snape, who knew about her whereabouts. Voldemort must've told something since there was so many Death Eaters. She didn't realise before she had been there for countless days, that people spoke another language. She was in another country, and Hermione suspected Voldemort to have kept that information to himself.

In the meantime Voldemort had, apparently, made Bellatrix and some others drink Poly Juice Potion and then they had performed her. They killed and tortured and the blame was put on the Real Hermione's shoulders, though she was in some completely other country, getting raped and tortured.

Then one day, when Hermione had been unconscious for a long time due all the torturing, Hermione woke up and found herself in another place than she had been in. The room was beautiful and big and she lay in a satin nightgown.

Voldemort had apparently known to the Riddle Manor would be stormed by Ministry Members from all countries, and therefore had left, though leaving Hermione there so it looked like that she lived a good life. Completely confused by everything, her whereabouts mostly, Hermione ventured out of the room. She had barely reached the staircase when there were noises and suddenly the whole manor was stormed and Hermione found herself body locked. The situation was so well planned and there was no way she could prove that she had been tortured and raped, since all wounds had been taken care of.

She got up from the couch upon remembering what had happened seven years ago. A sudden chill went down her spine and she shook a little. She went over to the open window and stiffed the thick air. Yesterday it had rained, and there had been a great thunder weather, she didn't like thunder. She remembered when she had been a little girl and when it thundered she used to crawl into her parents to lie with them. When she grew older she just lay in her bed, awake, and tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling. At the Azkaban prison she had been driven crazy by the thunder. The entire fortress shook under the heavenly thunder and scared her. No one to hide at and no one to talk to. She had been terrified, but no one cared. One time, while Snape had stayed there, it had thundered and Hermione lay with her eyes open, insecure like never before. She needed to be safe, but there was nothing to do and no one to hide by. It would look odd if she just awoke Snape in the middle of the night. Thinking back at the unpleasant weather Hermione came to realise that she sorta missed Snape. Not that she would admit it to anyone, but she missed that she wasn't alone, that if something happened, anything, there was someone to turn to. Now she was alone, by her own will, and she regretted being so stupid.

"I don't need him," she informed herself. She tried so hard to suppress him, to suppress all memories, but it was almost too hard. She didn't want to need him; she just wanted to be alone. She didn't like him, let alone love him! She felt forever confused over not being able to think straight. "I hate them," that was what she settled with in the end. She didn't like him, love him, or need him. She hated him as she hated all the others. She was solo and she had no intentions of other.

Eventually Hermione found herself in a rather tough depression. She didn't feel like getting up from the ground, and she didn't feel like living. It bothered her that she had lost so much, and yes by wizarding standards seven years is hardly anything, but when you're young it's a lot!

She might as well die...

Like she had told Severus Snape then things in life are always ironic. Again she felt like dying, but when the opportunity arrived something would happen and she'd live it through.

Again this was no exception. There was a loud _bang, _from when someone Apperating or Disapperating and Hermione stood up rapidly, heartbeat increased to the double. The last thing she remembered was a flash of light, followed by a sick laughter.

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	6. action equals consequence

**CHAPTER SIX – action equals consequence**

_Like she had told Severus Snape then things in life are always ironic. Again she felt like dying, but when the opportunity arrived something would happen and she'd live it through._

_Again this was no exception. There was a loud bang, from when someone Apperating or Disapperating and Hermione stood up rapidly, heartbeat increased to the double. The last thing she remembered was a flash of light, followed by a sick laughter._

Hermione woke up with a hammering headache. She moaned quietly to herself before grasping her head with her hands. Never in her life had she had such headache.

'It was some blow you almost took there, Hermione,' a voice spoke and Hermione moaned louder.

'When I open my eyes I do not expect to find myself in some bloody hospital bed at _Hogwarts_!' She snarled and kept her eyes shut.

'I am afraid you will indeed find yourself in such bed,' the voice of Albus Dumbledore merely responded followed with a light chuckle of his own.

'What happened?' Hermione decided to get down to business right away. 'Who's the owner of the sick laughter?'

'I am afraid the owner is Rudolfus Lestrange, a man many thought dead...' Hermione remembered vaguely hearing about his death while she was stuck in Azkaban. The moans of Bellatrix still rang clearly in her mind.

'Yes, sick, twisted, bastard' Hermione informed dull and there was a light snort, giving her the impression that there were more in the room that just Albus Dumbledore.

'Just great, you've brought all your _little friends _with you again?' Hermione asked coolly, still having her eyes firmly shut.

'Your friends too...'

'Why didn't I die? What did he hit me with?'

'He almost hit you with a rather strong blasting curse. It was meant to blow you up, but we had your house supervised in case you... Well we had your house supervised and gave him quite a scare, making the curse less powerful than intended. But, apparently you fainted and the spell did not hit you...' Hermione sighed mutely. 'You thought I was going to kill myself?' She asked and sat up and opened her eyes. They were indeed not alone. Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphedora Tonks were there. 

'We were worried...' Ron Weasley enlightened her.

'I wonder when you are going to get that I do not need your worries. If I wish to die I die, and if not...' she trailed off by jumping off the bed.

'Hermione...' Severus Snape could no longer stand by and watch the woman he had come to love act so careless.

'No Hermione,' Hermione cut him off rudely. 'I will be going now...'

'He is still out there. We didn't get to catch him, please don't leave. The man is unpredictable...' Draco Malfoy entered wing, and Hermione wondered why he even bothered talking to her.

'I wonder when you stopped hating me, Draco Malfoy. After all, I am such a worthless mudblood,' Draco Malfoy cringed lightly, as did the others, when she used such horrible name about herself.

'Do not speak like that,' Remus warned her softly.

'I am a mudblood, Remus Lupin, and I have been reminded so often that it does not touch me anymore; at Hogwarts, by Death Eaters, by Voldemort, and in the Azkaban prison... here at Hogwarts...'

'It's a horrible name,' Draco Malfoy informed her. 'I am sorry for my past mistakes...'

'Your sorry has no effect on me, Draco Malfoy,' Hermione informed him cold and careless. He looked hurt, but she wasn't interested in hearing what a sweet goodie boy he had become.

'Hermione,' Harry spoke with warning and in protection of Draco Malfoy. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

'Whatever do you all want from me? What shall I do to make you leave me alone?' She crossed her arms and relaxed up the bed.

'We'll never leave you alone, we love you and we'll never leave you until you're back to your old self...' Ron smiled lightly.

'Really? What if I don't wish to become 'my_ old_ self' again?'

'Why shouldn't you wish that?'

'Because Hermione Granger was a stupid little naïve girl who apparently didn't have anything else to do that read books. Hermione Granger wasted her life on books, which she never got to use for anything...' Hermione informed bitterly. 'You know I'm so sick of all this! I just want to be 17 again and do my life over! Just...' she took a deep breath. 'Get an education instead of being 7 years behind! I hate this shit!' A nearby glass splintered into a thousand pieces. 'I do not care about someone killing me! I hate this life and I hate this world!' Another glass broke. 'My life is completely destroyed and I am not up to create it again! I want to die! To - ARG!' She made some angry noises and threw a glass, which stood on a table next to her bed, onto the floor where it broke. 'This is so frustrating!' She ran her fingers through her hair. 'And what about you?' She turned to Draco Malfoy. 'Who the fuck do you think you are?' She sneered coldly. 'Been such an arse since I met you and then suddenly you think I'll forgive everything when I comes out from Azkaban?' She let out a laugh. 'I forgive nothing!' She spat. 'And you too!' She turned to Severus Snape. 'I do not care about any of you! Only myself! You are not going to intervene in my life again!' She looked around for her clothes, and damned that Madam Pomfrey always had to change people into ugly PJ's. 

'Oh dammit!' She stumped her foot into the ground before jumped onto the bed, where she lay on her stomach with her face turned down into the pillow. 'I hate you all so much, everything annoys me,' she moaned. 'I don't want you here! I am alone in this and that is by my own choice...' she sighed.

'You're not alone...' Tonks said quietly.

'No, I have you,' she said sarcastically. 'But I don't want to have you, because I do not need you! Why can't you understand that I want you to leave me alone? I dislike you and I am very little, actually not at all, interested in becoming your friend again!' She ended with a monotone voice and turned her head to face the pillow again.

'We won't leave you, no matter how much you insults us and how many glass you breaks,' Albus Dumbledore spoke. 

'You're right,' she sat up on the bed. 'I am going to get wasted now,' she jumped off the bed again.

'What?'

'I said: I am going to get wasted. Drunk, forget my miserable screwed up life...' she found a light robe upon deciding that Madam Pomfrey was probably getting Hermione's clothes washed.

'Don't get drunk, Hermione, it's really the worst way to forget things...' Severus Snape informed her quietly in frustration. He wasn't quite sure of how to approach the angry female, but he knew he had to.

'Maybe not, but I think last time I got drunk was a nice success,' she informed and looked at Severus Snape, whom she had had sex with when both were drunk.

'No you won't,' Severus Snape informed her sharply. 'Don't ruin your life further...'

'You make it sound like I ruined my life to begin with...' she suddenly said angrily for being assaulted like that. Her eyes turned cold with hatred and anger; she held nothing but disgust for them. 

'Miss Granger you can't leave,' a new voice spoke and Hermione turned, as did the others, to see Madam Pomfrey, standing almost awkwardly.

'I do believe I can, and I do believe I will,' Hermione remarked coldly. "Nothing is going to prevent me this time," she sniffed the air coolly.

'I would like a word with you, privately, miss Granger...' Madam Pomfrey seemed slightly anxious, and Hermione wondered what was wrong.

'What now? Am I sick?' Hermione questioned carelessly and Pomfrey shifted her position.

'Privately...' Hermione made her way over, dull, to Madam Pomfrey and they entered her office and sound secured the door.

'What?' Hermione turned to Pomfrey, who was standing by her desk, looking through some papers, not sure of how to speak with the young woman. Eventually the nurse stopped playing with her papers and turned to looked at the young woman, who was standing relaxed up against the wall, but radiating with a certain carelessness and solitude.

'Did you know you're pregnant?' Pomfrey questioned quietly, but not quiet enough for Hermione to miss.

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**A/N: Thank you to all who has reviewed my last chapter, I sincerely hope you'll do me the honour of dropping a nice review. Thanks :D**


	7. saving myself

**A/N: Thank you all for reviewing! I can't describe how pleased I am that no one are going to flame me for my English, but helps me along and tells me I am doing good, even though it is not my native tongue! I award you with this chapter, and I hope you will be pleased and review it. **

**ThouandI: **I have one question though: if Dumbledore is so quick to know she is pregnant, then wouldn't he also of known she was innocent when she was sent to Azkaban? I was just wondering.

----- To that question my answer is, and it is written in the beginning, that he KNEW that she was innocent, he just couldn't prove it. Harry shared thoughts with Voldemort, the Order trusted her innocence, but there was no way of proving it. Evident proof needed when sentencing a Death Eater, because far too many had been sentenced wrongly in the past. Well, hope it gave you an answer...

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**CHAPTER SEVEN – saving myself**

'_What?' Hermione turned to Pomfrey, who was standing by her desk, looking through some papers, not sure of how to speak with the young woman. Eventually the nurse stopped playing with her papers and turned to looked at the young woman, who was standing relaxed up against the wall, but radiating with a certain carelessness and solitude._

'_Did you know you're pregnant?' Pomfrey questioned quietly, but not quiet enough for Hermione to miss._

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**_He will do great things who can avert his words and thoughts from past irremediable evils._**

**- William Blake **_(to Hermione about her past)_

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'What?' Hermione questioned disgusted and in a cool voice and screwed up her expression to deep disgust and confusion.

'When a person is brought to my attention I do a standard spell. It is to see the most obvious things. A yellow light will eradiate from the person and where something is wrong it will appear red. Then it is my duty, of course, to see what it is. You appeared slightly red below your stomach, and I first assumed that your had been hit there...' She took a deep breath. 'I asked Albus where you had been hit, and he told me you had fainted and avoided the spell that way...' she looked at Hermione, who was standing motionless, eyes and face expressionless. 'I checked it and have just gotten the magical answers. You are indeed pregnant, miss Granger, which also explains why you fainted...' Hermione had no idea of what to say, and she was beginning to feel dizzy. Madam Pomfrey hurried to make her sit down, before she lost consciousness.

"Explains why I fainted?" Hermione managed to question, though rather slow and quiet.

"Tends to happen to many pregnant women because they are now supplying for a child too..." pause. "Miss Granger who did this to you? Did... were you...' the word 'rape' lingered unpleasantly in the air for some moments and Hermione noted, vaguely, that she had never seen the nurse be so anxious as in this moment. She was fidgeting with her nurse clothes lightly, trying to stay calm.

'No... no I was drunk with Severus Snape and it just happened...' Hermione finally broke the intense silence and the Madam met Hermione's gaze with a horrified expression, which dawned from her original thought of him raping her, to them having both participated in the intercourse.

'Severus is the father?' Pomfrey asked surprised and in half-whisper.

'You dare tell anyone about this!' Hermione snarled coldly, turning into her bastard self. 'I am not ready for this. I haven't been out for more than three months! I can't have this baby!' Hermione stood, but dizziness overwhelmed her quickly.

'I would tell him, it is not fair otherwise...' Pomfrey spoke quietly.

'Really? But he'll probably want the baby...' Hermione informed, anger suddenly welling up in her. 'I am not able to take care of myself yet, the last thing I need is some ugly accidental baby!'

'Miss Granger that is very harsh to speak!' Pomfrey informed her quietly. 'I would consider this throughout before doing anything,' Pomfrey spoke. 'I am under professional secrecy, which means...'

'I know what it means,' Hermione cut her off with a light snarl of impatience. 'But Dumbledore exceed in Legemency and I doubt he'll shut up when he finds out!' Hermione stood slowly and rested her hand on the lower part of her belly on instinct. Though, when she became aware of this difference she moved her hand away. 'No one must know and we'll just pretend that I have a light virus somewhere in my body, but I'll recover...' Hermione informed chilly and made her way out of the room.

'Everything is all right?' Severus Snape questioned and Hermione stopped, feeling the urge to vomit by his care.

'Yes, Madam Pomfrey had detected a virus in me, nothing serious, but since there's all that secrecy then she was bound to tell it to me privately...' She let out a small yawn.

'Can it be cured?' Harry asked worried.

'Yes, didn't I just say that it wasn't anything serious?' Hermione snapped annoyed. 'No worries I'll take some potions and I'll be fresh as a fish... eagle or whatever,' she waved it off relaxed.

'Anything you need, Poppy?' Severus Snape questioned quickly.

'No, no, Severus. I have everything here. Though I would like miss Granger to stay until things has settled...' Pomfrey looked at Hermione, who didn't know what to do. Suddenly there was a feeling in her that welled up and she felt like crying. Why did she have to get pregnant now that she was the urge of killing herself? This wasn't what she needed.

Her face turned down and slowly tears welled in her eyes, but she brushed them away and then noticed how odd people were looking at her.

'What?' She snarled angrily.

'Are you... crying?' Remus suddenly asked worried.

'The hell I'm not!' She spat coldly. 'Whatever you say, Pomfrey,' Hermione made her way over to her bed and lay down and tugged herself. She turned her back to the others and closed her eyes; hoping people would leave. 'You can go now,' Hermione informed annoyed, but no one moved.

'Miss Granger needs her rest if you all wish her to be well,' Pomfrey snapped and finally people began to move. Hermione could hear them make out their wishes and goodbyes before leaving, and finally the wing became silent.

'Miss Granger...' Pomfrey interrupted quietly.

'I am not changing my opinion. I don't want a child, get it out of me,' Hermione spoke with a cold and careless voice that did not fit the emotional state she was in.

'I will give you a week,' Pomfrey told and left Hermione to herself.

Living at Hogwarts again was a painful nightmare. Not only were there still students at Hogwarts, since the vacation hadn't started yet, but somehow people had found out that the infamous Hermione Granger was living in the hospital wing, which made many dare to venture up there, to get glimpse of her. But luckily Pomfrey put Hermione in a room of her own, in the hospital wing, and therefore Hermione was free from meeting any curious students. She had, when she knew the students were eating breakfast or lunch, ventured out of the hospital wing and down to the library, where she found some books to keep her busy with. She had, without argument, nothing better to do than to stick her face in a book. Though, her eyes may look into the letters of the books, but she wasn't really reading at all. Her mind was circling about what lay in her uterus this moment, getting bigger. The mere thought of something growing inside of her made her want to vomit of disgust. It was disgusting to think that she had created a new life, especially at this time of her life. She remembered, before she had been claimed a traitor, that she often thought of getting a family. She had always adored children, but now the feeling was gone. All she really wanted was to hide and be by herself, though she knew that if she was allowed to be by herself then she'd be sad that she had wanted that.

What she needed was a fresh start. A new place where no one knew her, well at least where no one would recognise her. Maybe in the Caribbean she could live with her child, just the two of them.

'_Wow, wow!' _Hermione mentally slapped herself. 'Where the fuck did that come from?' She asked out loud. When had she decided that she wanted this child? She didn't need this child, but she needed to get away, alone. Hermione shook unwanted by the mere thought of keeping the child. No, she definitely didn't want to keep the little brat. Children were for people who had a lover and had the required love, and she had neither. This thought made her rather depressed, the thought of being utterly alone. She sat up in her bed, where she had laid, reading. Hermione decided to run off. It was a good way to just be alone and then be with her child. 'No, no, no...' She said quietly, almost soundlessly, to herself. She was way too unstable to run off at this moment and she way too unstable to get a child. You can't just get back a straight mind just because you're pregnant...

'What to do, what to do...' Hermione thumped her fingers lightly on the book cover.

'Perhaps you should talk to Severus...' A voice spoke and Hermione groaned aloud.

'Albus Dumbledore to what do I owe this incredible pleasure?' Hermione questioned sarcastically and listened as Albus Dumbledore moved into the room.

'You and I both know what I'm talking about, Hermione,' Albus Dumbledore spoke calmly, and took a seat by the bed. Hermione wasn't that surprised to find out that he knew the truth, but nonetheless it hurt somehow to know that one more knew the truth, because it made things much more difficult.

'Ah, yes,' Hermione said enlightened. 'You broke Madam Pomfrey's Professional Secrecy and my wish for secrecy too,' she gave him a cool smile.

'Now what makes you think that, dear child?'

'Do NOT call me a child, Albus Dumbledore!' She warned angrily. 'And we both know that the only reason you know so many things is because you simply exceed in Legemency. I suspect you knew from the second we left the office!' Hermione snarled coldly. 'I thought you were more polite than that, but then again your need to know everything that goes on is rather large...' she trailed off with a cold, but silent, sniff of the air.

'Yes, I'm afraid you're right on that point,' Albus Dumbledore confessed and smiled lightly. 'Congratulations,' he wished her.

'For what? I am not keeping the damn child,' She informed with a light smile. Albus Dumbledore's face froze.

'But you'll break Severus's heart...' he said with a voice fully of praying and emotions.

'What Severus Snape does not know about he won't be sorry about. I am not ready for a new life! I've barely been out for three months, and now I'm pregnant?' She snapped angrily. 'I am leaving this country and I won't be back. If Severus Snape wishes a child he can find a woman to love and get it with her...'

'He has already found her, but she seems to reject him even though she loves him...'

'Really? Who is she?' Hermione asked with mock-interest. 'It can hardly be me since I am not rejecting him even though I love him, I reject him because I hate him, like I hate the rest of you lot,' she sniffed coldly.

'Hermione do you really mean that? This is a real life you are playing with; do you really wish to loose this child? This child that could save your life?'

'Albus Dumbledore don't you dare talk about saving my life!' Hermione's eyes blazed at him furiously. 'This child will not help me with anything except bring me more annoyance! What I need has been lost and no little _accidental brat _can change that!'

'You speak so harshly, but I doubt you mean it,' Albus Dumbledore informed her quietly.

'Doubt whatever you want, Albus Dumbledore, but you do not know my feelings nor do you know me...' Hermione crossed her arms and turned her gaze away from him stubbornly.

'Yes I suppose you're right. How would the child turn out with a mother like you,' he gave a small chuckle and Hermione felt anger bubble inside of her.

'I would be a great mother!' She almost yelled and then realised what Albus Dumbledore had done. 'But truth be told I have no idea of what I want, and I hate when you pretend that you do. I can't have this child, it's too soon, and therefore a life will be wasted!'

'Hermione please don't do it, I'm begging you...'

'Do not beg because it will not work...' Hermione refused unemotionally.

'If you do it I will tell Severus,' that seemed to trick Hermione. She turned towards Albus Dumbledore and glared at him angrier than ever before.

'How dare you!' She whispered quietly, full of danger with eyes blazing like never before. 'How dare you threaten me with such! I am the one to bear this child! I am the one to nurse it! I refuse to do this and I would rather die! Tell Severus Snape about it and I will kill myself!' She informed him with an almost yelling voice. The door was opened hastily and Pomfrey rushed in.

'Albus Dumbledore!' Pomfrey scolded him. 'I told that miss Granger shouldn't be visited!'

'The Professor has used Legemens on you, Pomfrey, to see what is wrong with me,' Hermione informed coolly and Pomfrey's face seemed to whiten.

'HOW DARE YOU!' Pomfrey tried to keep her voice low. 'Headmaster I advise you to leave this Hospital wing unless you want to end up in a bed!' She threatened and the Headmaster left quickly. 'How are you, miss Granger?' Pomfrey turned to Hermione politely.

'Unchanged,' Hermione informed coldly. 'I want it out.'

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**REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: REVIW: - THANK YOU!**


	8. unchanged

**CHAPTER EIGHT - unchanged**

_A habit of sneering marks the egoist, or the fool, or the knave – or all three. _

_- All three!_

**- William Blake**

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Hermione had gotten on her clothes and was ready to leave Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey was sleeping somewhere and had no idea about this little escape, which Hermione had planned. Luckily Albus Dumbledore knew nothing about it either, and Hermione knew it would be better that way. She wasn't ready for their love and she wasn't ready for a child, not to mention that she had very little interest in getting any of it! She knew Madam Pomfrey would never make an abortion on her, so she would have to find one who would, and it would have to be quick. As soon as Pomfrey would find out that she's gone she'd tell Albus Dumbledore, who'd tell Severus Snape the truth; the last thing she needed. 

Hermione stood and stretched a bit to wake up. Absently she stroked her abdomen and then stumped her foot into the ground. A child, not even four weeks old yet, had already sunk its 'claws' in her and had created such motherly feelings. She wanted it out and she was completely careless about who were against it. This was **her **life and she did not need to screw it up further. Further she didn't need to run around carrying a child for nine months. If Severus Snape, or any of the others, wanted this child then they could carry it themselves! Though, the thought of Severus Snape being pregnant made her giggle lightly, before it was ruined by more annoyance and the urge to vomit. Already was she feeling sick and she had lost her appetite completely.

Severus Snape, along with lots of others, visited her daily and she kept hearing, from Albus Dumbledore, about not to get rid of the child, but Hermione had made up her mind already, and nothing he could say or do would change things.

The first great motherly task had been put on Hermione's shoulders in the beginning of the second week that she lived at Hogwarts. Pomfrey had requested for one week, but Hermione hadn't exactly been allowed to leave before she was completely 'cured'.

Ginny Weasley, Ginny Potter now, visited along with Harry and their beautiful three children. As Hermione looked at the couple in love, and their _adorable_ children, she realised that children were the worst beings in the world. They were small and they couldn't shut up. She absolutely despised them and just turned away from the children. Ginny had tried, in vain just like the others, to cheer up Hermione, but nothing they could say or do worked and Hermione only felt the need to get away grow bigger.

Sometimes she reasoned herself by telling that her thinking was because she had been locked up for seven years. She used to like children and if just she pulled herself together and opened up she'd get the feeling back. So Hermione turned towards the two oldest children. The girl had red hair and the boy black, as their parents, and Hermione watched the two looking so sweet and adorable. In the end she had to realise that it was hopeless. She didn't feel anything else but a deep disgust for those children and the last thing she needed was to get a child herself.

Harry and Ginny had tried to cheer her up with the children, since they remembered how she liked children, but in the end Hermione had to inform that she didn't held anything else that pure disgust towards children and she "hoped" that she hadn't hurt anyone. Though, she probably had. Ginny looked more than hurt, as did Harry. But, Hermione didn't care. Why should she? The children were ugly and smelly and they looked annoying.

Slowly Hermione began to succumb to the wonder of how she'd raise her own child. How would it become? Albus Dumbledore wasn't right; she'd be a terrific mother!

But nothing changed her opinion and Hermione now stood, fully dressed, next to her bed and looking towards the window, where freedom lay. By this day tomorrow she'd have an abdomen without a child in and she'd be able to leave and never come back. To be more accurate then it would be only in hours that she'd be free and able to get away. A small smile quirked in the corners of her mouth and Hermione slowly and quietly made her way over to the door. She stuck her head out to listen for any noise, but none was heard. Slowly and carefully she stepped out, but only to feel anticipation grow in her stomach and along with her being pregnant - Hermione rushed back to vomit in a bucket. How could anyone live through this? She wondered and cleaned herself with a spell by her wand. God she hated the sickness that followed with it. Again she made her way to leave the wing, and this time no sickness stopped her. She hurried, soundlessly, through corridors and didn't stop until she had reached the entrance hall. For a moment her thoughts lingered around the unpleasantness of when she had awoken in the hospital wing after having been released from Azkaban, she shudder and tried to forget all this. She had business to do after all.

Hermione entered St. Mungos and looked around. There weren't many people there, but she figured it had to be because of the early morning hours. After all, it was only five-thirty.

'_I can't get my hand out of my pocket!'_ A man shrieked and Hermione smiled lightly. Yes, she loved St. Mungos far greater than a muggle hospital, such weird things happened here. She stepped over to a woman, whom she figured could help her.

'Can I...' She woman gasped out loud, making a few people look. Hermione sighed annoyed.

'I have been cleared so stop acting like that!' She snarled coolly and the witch nodded dimly. 

'Y-yes...' she agreed and tried to pull herself together. 'What may I do for you?' Her voice was uncertain, which bothered Hermione to no length.

'Unwanted child, where to go?' She just informed uninterested.

'That department is not open until eleven...' The witch apologised deeply and looked about ready to hurry off.

'What the fuck's wrong with you? I'm not going to kill you, I'm innocent!' Hermione stamped with her foot lightly, feeling the urge to hex the witch into oblivion.

'Yes... right...' She gave an insecure giggle and Hermione rolled her eyes.

'Not open until eleven? See you there then,' Hermione muttered annoyed and left, though with a lot of people looked after her.

She entered the mugglestreet and looked around. London was quiet in the early morning, though there were some buzzing noises somewhere from the traffic. What should she do until eleven? They were bound to find her if she went home, so she had to walk around, but she really didn't feel like walking around.

'Dammit!' She uttered and felt the need to sleep. Why was everything being so confusing and difficult? Why couldn't she just get the freaking abortion now instead at eleven o'clock? It couldn't take more than two minutes, could it? Just drink some blasted potion and you'd be free! She sighed coldly and made her way to walk London.

She walked, and she walked. No shops made her want to stop and take interest, no people made her want to stay and no smells of food made her want to eat. What she wanted was to get away from this blasted child, because it was only a reminder of a near past, which she would be burying in no less than a few hours. If she thought that this would make her smile, to get away from people, Hermione was deeply wrong. This reminder, however, made her feel worse than she already felt. Why did Severus Snape like her? He didn't even know her for crying out loud! Why should she be with him when he had 'tortured' her when she had attended Hogwarts? Why should she give a damn about him at all?

'I don't give a damn,' she informed herself quietly. That's right, she didn't give a damn thing about Severus Snape, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, or anyone else but herself. To be true then she didn't even give a damn about herself. This made life seem so easy. Why couldn't they just let her die? She didn't want to live for them and didn't want to live for her self. Albus Dumbledore would probably say she should stay alive for her unborn baby, but why? The baby was going to die too anyway. All this bad made her smile, though she wasn't quite sure if she was smiling in a good way, or bad way. She figured the latter since it was rather sick to smile of such things, but then again, she had been committed to Azkaban for seven years and that alone can drive one mad. Hermione knew she had gotten mad from being locked up in Azkaban.

When she woke up at night she had to perform the Patronus, not only at night, when she sat in the same position for over five minutes she had to move because she felt too uncomfortable. She kept looking over her shoulder, as if expecting to see something, and her feelings, sympathy and such, were gone and cold. When she looked at her old friends she saw nothing but unknown people, people whom she for some reason disliked and refused to get to know. She refused to be touched, just any little touch made her step back and feel insecure and unprotected. Severus Snape had been the only one she had touched since she had come out of Azkaban, and he would definitely be the last.

Sometimes she hoped that dying of a broken heart didn't take that long. To die of a broken heart meant that a person would be so down that she or he stopped eating and doing anything, but it might all take a month or so and that was too long. Couldn't something be done in this moment? Her mind fluttered open and Hermione mentally kicked herself. She had gotten the highest grades in Hogwarts' history, especially in Potions, and she knew so many potions to kill yourself, or others, with. The Living Draught potion, said to kill one instantly. That would be a rather good choice, Hermione figured, and began plotting her own death. Surprisingly enough then she didn't feel bad about thinking about it, but it also made her feel slightly anxious. In what way the anxiety was pointed against she did not know. Whether it was because everything soon would be over, or because she didn't really wish to die, Hermione knew not.

Finally the time neared eleven and Hermione found that her tracks were making their way back to St. Mungos. She looked at the big building lying in front of her and then she turned to stop in front of the window with the mannequin doll.

'Hermione Granger,' she spoke her name and the doll gave tiny nod, and Hermione stepped through the glass. The foyer of the hospital was much more crowded than it had been. People crossed the hall all the time, chattering was heard from everywhere, and Hermione stood watching the busy people for a moment, before walking over to the same counter she had been at before, though this time a new woman stood behind it.

'Aren't you...' The woman asked insecure. Now Hermione knew how Harry Potter had it all the time, except he was recognised for defeating Voldemort twice, she was it because she had been convicted and been traitorous towards her friends and family, and now for being convicted wrongly.

'Yes and now on to business,' Hermione snapped coolly. 'Unwanted child,' she spoke quietly and the woman nodded lightly. 

'Second floor,' she was informed and Hermione left the counter. It would be normal to have _some _feeling about this, wouldn't it? Hermione wondered. She didn't feel a thing.

She was just glad that she was going to get this child removed, to be alone again. Suddenly feelings came and momentarily overwhelmed her. The thought of being all alone again made her feel rather dizzy and uncomfortable. The thought of having no one to love her, no one to care about her. Why was she leaving this country? To start on a fresh, though she knew that she wouldn't become more social just because she went to live in another country.

'Miss?'

'Granger, Hermione Granger,' Hermione spoke as the witch broke her out of her thoughts.

'How may I help you? Visitor, giving birth, adoption, or abortion?' The woman questioned politely. Hermione looked down her flat belly; well she weren't going to have a child right now. 

'Abortion,' Hermione informed the witch, who wrote something down on a paper.

'Wait here for a moment,' the witch requested and Hermione let out a stream of air and decided to see how things looked like. 'Miss?' The woman spoke and Hermione turned her attention back at the witch, who was standing with another witch.

'My name is Henrietta Dirk, I am being your guide through this. Do you have any questions you're free to ask,' the woman spoke politely and led Hermione into a private room with a bed. 'Now, before we get down to business you need to sign a few things...' Hermione was handed some papers to sign, about the father, the mother, reason for abortion and age and so on. She signed and the changed into the hospital clothes and the lay down on the bed, and waited for the nurse to get back, so they could get started...****

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'Hermione!' A voice cried out in exhaustion and in stumbled Severus Snape, looking extremely exhausted. 'Don't, - I'm begging you!' He asked desperately.

'You're too late, Severus Snape,' Hermione informed him softly and Severus Snape fell quiet.

'No...' He said quietly and looked at her with more emotions than she had ever seen in her life, his eyes fell upon her sheet-covered belly.

'Leave me be to get rested, and never come back...' Hermione turned her back to him and closed her eyes, feeling her heart dropping into her stomach. There was no sound behind her. 'NOW!' She demanded angrily and slowly she could hear his steps leave. She closed her eyes and for the first time cried for real in seven years. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over like a manic storm over-flooding a barricade. She rubbed her eyes, trying to dry her eyes, but no matter how much she tried the tears kept coming back. What had she done?

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**You know what I want you to ;-): REVIEW! Come on, tell me what'y think! Hope you're not too mad, so don't flame me, but you're in for a LOT of surprises, dearies! Woohoo!**


	9. loss for words

**CHAPTER NINE – loss for words**

'_Leave me be to get rested, and never come back...' Hermione turned her back to him and closed her eyes, feeling her heart dropping into her stomach. There was no sound behind her. 'NOW!' She demanded angrily and slowly she could hear his steps leave. She closed her eyes and for the first time cried for real in seven years. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over like a manic storm over-flooding a barricade. She rubbed her eyes, trying to dry her eyes, but no matter how much she tried the tears kept coming back. What had she done?_

_- _**I am so, so, so, sorry for the cliffy in the last chapter! I am sorry for having hurt one of my reviewer's feelings. I hope you can forgive me for the ending, but as I promised you: I have a surprise...**

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**Thank you all for reviewing, I hope you'll keep it up and make me happy!**

**_Where there is much pretension, much has been borrowed–nature never pretends_**

**- William Blake**

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**FOUR MONTHS LATER **

Severus Snape was sitting in the headmaster's office the eleventh of October. The headmaster was currently missing, but Severus waited, as always, not very patiently. Not that he really minded. He'd rather not see the headmaster. What he actually wanted to be left alone. Every one was looking at him oddly and it was seriously driving him mad! The last thing he needed, ever, was wanting their pity, but now he had it unconditionally.

'Severus, my child,' Albus Dumbledore entered the office and Severus gave him a short nod of recognition in the headmaster's direction. Severus's eyes caught an object on the table. It was glinting lightly from the late evening sun.

'Headmaster,' he greeted distantly. It pained the headmaster to see his young friend in this state; it had gone on since Hermione had left Hogwarts to get an abortion. Albus Dumbledore had been forced to tell Severus the truth when Poppy had informed that Hermione was gone. The look on Severus's face was indescribable and it pained him to the least. More did it pain him though, was when Severus arrived back from the Wizarding Hospital, with a sad face, and Albus Dumbledore knew what had happened. For too long had his friend grieved and snapped at people, he had to rise from the ground again.

'It's been four months since Hermione left us...' Albus spoke quietly. They had done everything to find her, but Albus Dumbledore had to admit that Hermione Granger was a gifted witch, and if she did not wished to be found then nothing would stand in her way. Severus Snape did not respond, but only sat sadly in the chair in front of the headmaster's desk. Albus Dumbledore remembered all the times that Severus Snape had sat in front of his desk, but those times it was with a foul scowl placed securely on his face, now it was hurt. His eyes no longer black and empty, but now filled with emotions and anger, confusion. Albus had tried to catch up with the young wizard in the hallways to speak to him, but Albus had realised that this needed a throughout discussion.

'Severus, I'm begging you to rise from the ground,' Albus spoke quietly, his heart heavy from the look on the young wizard's face.

'She got an abortion, without telling me a single thing, and then she left me...' Severus spoke, hurt had taken over his voice. "What if Rudolfus Lestrange finds her?" He half-whispered in distrust to his own voice.

'Hermione Granger will be back, she just needs time...' Albus tried, though honestly he had no idea if she'd ever come back. He could only imagine the things she had gone through. "I am quite sure that if we can't get in touch with Hermione Rudolfus can't either," he said and hoped it was the truth.

"She will NOT be back!" Severus slammed his fist into the table and then stood up. He started pacing, running his hands through his raven black hair. "She doesn't need me, and why should she?" He let out a sardonic laugh. Who'd ever have thought that Severus would fall in love with Hermione-know-it-all-Granger? Certainly not her! If she didn't want him then she'd be rid of him. The chit was only a child, a stupid and silly girl! How he had fallen in love with her in the first place was still a question!

A sudden female voice broke the short silence.

'Excuse me, headmaster,' the voice of Dilys Derwent, a portrait on the wall –former headmistress and known healer. She had been watching the young and angry wizard as he paced around.

'Dilys?' Albus queried.

'Are you talking about _the_ Hermione Granger?' The portrait questioned interested.

'Yes...' Albus nodded and Severus let out a moan. 'Do you know anything?'

'Of course I do, headmaster,' the portrait informed with a smile. 'I was talking with Aldion, a healer whose portrait hangs in the abortion apartment, and he told me Hermione Granger had been in to get an abortion. Infamous Hermione Granger, so naturally I listened. Hermione Granger never got an abortion...' Severus Snape stopped his pacing and turned to the portrait, feelings of guilt and shame of what he had thought of her moments before welling up in him.

'WHAT?' He shrieked. 'I saw her!' 'Wasn't she just a month along or so? You can hardly tell that she's pregnant and you arrived before the healer arrived. She cried, but never got an abortion. Aldion told that she just got dressed and hurried off...' Dilys shook her head. 'Unstable one that is...'

'You mean to say Hermione is still pregnant?'

'Unless she got an abortion some other place...' Dilys trailed off.

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**Okay! Come on, push the botten and type on the keyboard!** - Hope this chapter made up for my cruelty at the last one!


	10. touched by surprise

**CHAPTER TEN -** **touched by surprise**

'_Wasn't she just a month along or so? You can hardly tell that she's pregnant and you arrived before the healer arrived. She cried, but never got an abortion. Aldion told that she just got dressed and hurried off...' Dilys shook her head. 'Unstable one that is...'_

_'You mean to say Hermione is still pregnant?'_

'_Unless she got an abortion some other place...' Dilys trailed off._

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_Who has a daring eye, tells downright truths and downright lies._

_- _**William Blake**

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**ONE MONTH LATER**

Hermione Granger, now sixth months pregnant, was sitting on her terrace in New Zealand, stroking her abdomen. She enjoyed the nice weather, though the air was slightly heavy, but she had learned to live with it through the last six months. Somewhere noises from sheep echoed through the hills and Hermione smiled. This was life. This was what she had needed. This was freedom and herself. Everything was perfect and she finally began feeling the urge to live again.

She used most of her time by writing her story. She had no plans of getting it published, but she decided it would be a good way to get all the things off her chest. It was half 'novel' and half diary, which was a rather pleasant combination because she got the chance to really get her feelings onto paper. Sometimes she missed people. Sometimes she dreamed of her old life and her friends, but she knew she wasn't ready to get back to them. They'd most likely create another wave of anger and hurt, even though it wasn't their fault. Sometimes, rather often, Hermione wondered about Severus Snape. Mostly when she sat at night, looking up at the moon, and she wondered what he was doing. If she was honest with herself then she could admit that she was in love with him, but the mere memory of how he had treated her at Hogwarts ruined those feelings rather roughly. She tried hard to forget him, because she couldn't see a reason to love him, and she couldn't figure out why he should like her.

'Oy Hermione,' a voice greeted and Hermione turned her attention to her newfound pal, Henry Mark. Henry Mark was a muggle and a shepherd. Hermione used to walk with him to town and enjoy his company. Henry was about fifty and was a very pleasant company. He did not ask many questions and he respected Hermione wish not to speak of her past. Henry's wife was called Martha and was a tremendous cook. Often Hermione stayed with Henry and Martha through dinner and enjoyed the elders company and listened to ideas for baby things.

'Henry,' Hermione greeted back happily. Her English accent had been replaced slightly with a light Zealander accent. It sounded rather odd, but she really couldn't help herself. 'Want to come with me to town,' She questioned without hiding her Zealander accent mixed with her English accent.

'Sure, that is why I am here, my dear. Martha will join us on the way,' Henry gestured for her hand, which Hermione accepted, and pulled her up lightly from the rocking chair. Her light summer dress waved lightly in the almost unnoticed wind, and Hermione caressed her abdomen lightly as she stood.

'Thank you,' she thanked and they made their way down from the small hill. Slowly a conversation began and Hermione enjoyed listening to completely non-magical things, such as how his sheep were doing.

Martha met the two of them by the stone road, around 300 metres from the entrance to the town. She had cookies in a basket and offered both Hermione and Henry one, which they gladly accepted.

'Oy, see those clouds over there?' Henry pointed towards some rather nasty clouds. The only thing wrong with New Zealand was the weather. It tended to change rather rapidly and all the time. When you least expected it, it would rain or shine. It had something to do with all the mountains keeping in clouds and such.

'Think we have to stay in town,' Martha informed and slowly raindrops began falling from the sky. They hurried towards the Inn where they could get something to drink while waiting for the rain to pass so they could shop and get home. 

'Wait here and I'll get something to drink,' Henry said as Martha and Hermione made their way to a nice and cosy table. Two minutes later Henry came back with two bears for Martha and him and a glass of milk for Hermione. They sat talking for a while; Hermione had her back to the entrance and therefore was completely oblivion to those leaving and those entering. She felt a slight pang in her chest at some point, telling that her magic wasn't holding much longer. She had put up many magic barriers to keep people away from her, but they had to be _updated_ once in a while. She had almost just replaced them, she mused thoughtfully. She had cast several spells over her borrowed house and over her clothes, since she couldn't throw spells at herself due her pregnancy. That was what she hated most, because if someone was looking for her they might find her, since she wouldn't be able to disguise herself properly due her pregnancy. Not that she thought they'd be looking for her, she was actually under the belief that people were at Hogwarts, enjoying themselves and had completely forgotten about her. Her grasp around the glass of milk tightened lightly as anger welled in her, but it faded as Henry's voice cut through her skull and all her thoughts, wishes, everything, was wiped away in a mere second.

'Dodgy people up there, eh?' Henry nudged towards the counter and Hermione turned in her seat to see, and her eyes widened before she turned to Martha and Henry again, her heart pounding maniacally.

'Oh no!' She spoke quietly. 'How is it possible?' She whispered confused.

'Know 'em?' Martha questioned quietly and glanced up at the bar where there stood five oddly looking people. A man in completely black with black hair, a young man in torn, loose, pants and a loose shirt, black hair and glasses, another young man with red hair, a woman with pink hair and a tired looking man with slightly grey hair.

'I did... I left because that I...' she had never really told them about her past, and they had never prided. 'I need to go to the bathroom,' she whispered and tried to get up quietly. She had barely walked two steps in the other direction than the bar, when a voice spoke clearly. 

'Oy, miss Granger is sitting down there...' the barkeeper spoke. The little town wasn't very big and therefore people knew each other. She wished she had given up another name. Hermione felt her back stiffen as her sixth sense told that people had turned their gazes towards her. 'Miss Granger,' the barkeeper called and Hermione closed her eyes. Somehow it didn't bother her as much as she had thought that they had come for her, so slowly she dared to turn around. The look on their faces was beyond words, and Hermione saw their eyes dart towards her round belly.

'Good afternoon,' she greeted and made her way to the bar, eyes low. No one spoke of the five. 'Well say something, you haven't come here to look stupid,' she said coolly, masking her true emotions.

'Mione, you're pregnant...' Harry observed. 'Dilys said you were, but... we didn't dare hope...' Hermione wondered who the hell he was talking about, but slowly she realised whom it was.

'Ah yes, blasted pictures,' she gave an insecure smile. 

'Why did you lie?' Severus Snape asked stricken, his eyes deep as a well, black, and unreadable were watching her intensely, and she felt like stepping back.

'You have never given me a reason not to,' Hermione snapped truthfully and again silence reigned. Her tone changing into snapping in self-protection and she crossed her arms across her belly and chest the best she could. She was feeling too exposed by their sudden arrival.

'But I love you...' Severus Snape informed emotionally and uncharacteristically. His black pools now glinting with moist, not tears, but natural wetness and emotions.

'So you say, but I have not been ready for such proclamation...' she spoke softly and tried to step back casually so that they wouldn't think she was afraid of them. 'My life was ruined completely when being put into Azkaban, and seven years later I'm released, get pregnant after three months and have to deal with a lot of people along with a child. I wasn't ready...'

'But why did you keep it...'

'I realised I couldn't be alone...'

'But you weren't alone!' Ron tried softly.

'Yes I was. I was the one to walk the path towards a new life, no one could help me there no matter how you tried. I didn't need you to help me get up, I needed to get my strengths back and get up by myself,' she snapped and leaned up against the bar quietly. 'I made decision based on my own needs,' she realised that the hurt written in their faces touched her, and Hermione suddenly felt bad for all she had done to them. 

'But...' Severus Snape seemed lost for words.

'Being here has done me good. I do not feel angry anymore. But then again, my doctor,' Hermione nudged towards Martha, who was watching with her husband, with interest. '... Advised me not to get upset and so I have spent my time by writing everything down... I feel much better now...'

'Then will you come home?' Tonks asked hopefully.

'I am home,' Hermione revealed with a faint voice.

"But England... Hogwarts," Harry tried, tears welling up into his eyes. Hermione looked away with an unreadable expression on her face. She knew she had to make a decision, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to actually see them all the time, and she knew she'd see them often if she went home with them. She knew she had to make a choice, and choice that would be rather painful for her, but if she put away her stubbornness then she knew it was the best.

'Please, we love you...' Remus spoke quietly. Hermione smiled.

'I will go back, but don't push me. I cannot start a new life just like that, please gi-' Hermione grasped her stomach surprised and gave a soft moan.

'What's wrong?' Severus Snape asked quickly, looking extremely worried, like the rest did too. He moved to her, but she waved him away.

'Quidditch player, can't keep still at all,' Hermione informed when she gotten her breath back, and caressed her belly. There was a quiet chuckle and people smiled. 'I shall try and start up a life again, but please give me some time, I do not know how comfortable I will be in large crowds, so do not expect me to attend any assembles...' she warned softly and people seemed to loosen. 

'Do you live here in the Inn?'

'No, I have rented a small house around 500 metres from here...' Hermione informed quietly. 'Two seconds,' Hermione went over to Martha and Henry, whom she gave her teary goodbyes to, though not hugging since she Azkaban had made her slightly edgy around other people. Luckily it had stopped raining, but the earth was rather muddy and not very suited for a pregnant woman to walk in. 'Dammit,' Hermione said as they reached the end of the town. 

'What is it?' People asked at the same time.

'That,' Hermione nudged towards the hills. 'I hate those hills. Have you any idea of how it is to walk to town and back when being pregnant?' She asked and began walking.

'Want me to carry you?' Ron grinned at her, but Hermione didn't respond because she had no idea about how to respond. Finally after half an hour, with swollen ankles, they reached the little house and entered.

'Do you want some tea?' Hermione asked as people entered the small house.

'I can make it,' Tonks beamed and Hermione doubted that Tonks had gotten over her clumsiness. Everyone else seemed rather quiet, as if not sure of what to say. Hermione packed her belongings rather quickly and then lay some money on the table for the owner to get. She had asked Henry and Martha to tell, Willy Kunst, who owned the house, that she had left, but the money lay on the table for the month's rent.

'I'm packed,' Hermione said and shrunk her things to fit in her pocket. 'But we won't be going before I have gotten to sit down,' she informed coolly again, and took a seat in the couch, feeling rather tired. 

'It suits you,' Harry spoke quietly, and Hermione lifted her head a bit. 'To be pregnant... and smile again...' Hermione barely returned his smile.

'Don't expect too much,' she asked quietly and breathed out while massaging her abdomen lightly and closing her eyes. 

'How's your pregnancy been?' Tonks questioned when tea was put on the table.

'Like a nightmare!' Hermione informed in a quiet voice. 'I cannot help but wonder why people call it morning sickness, because it's not only in the morning but any time of the day,' there was a light chuckle and Hermione noticed Severus Snape watching her secretly. She didn't mind, though. "Luckily I am past that stage..." she mumbled quietly in relaxation.

'What you been doing here in the free?' Remus asked to start the conversation,

'Nothing really,' she admitted with a smile. 'I've been writing my thoughts, feelings and my story, to get it off my chest, and I've gathered some friends, Henry and Martha whom I sat with at the Inn...' she smiled lightly.

'Any chance to read it and find out how you feel?' Ron questioned quietly.

'No, it is very personal. Besides, you might get hurt,' she smiled to the slightly. 'Things has changed and they tend to change all the time. Just today I sat on my porch before going to town and I thought of you. Somehow I thought I'd be annoyed if you ever found me, but I proved to be wrong...' she shrugged lightly and sipped her tea.

'We're so glad that you're back...' Tonks beamed. 'Well almost back...' Hermione didn't respond.

'Are you going to live at your old house?' Ron asked and Hermione shook her head. 

'I sold everything. Things and the house. I suppose I'll rent a room at the Leaky Cauldron, has Rudolfus gotten caught?'

'No...' there was a silence again, only to be broken when people lifted their cup from the plate and put it down again.

'You can live...' Harry spoke quietly, but Hermione cut him off with a shake of her head.

'Not with any of you, that's too soon. Not Hogwarts, nor Grimauld's Place,' she shook her head again.

'So, Hermione,' Remus lightened the conversation. 'When are you due, and is the child a boy or a girl?' People's gaze turned towards Hermione, who felt a light blush stain her cheeks.

'I've decided not to find out the gender until he or she is born, and I'm due beginning of February or mid February...' she replied politely.

'You're rather large even though you're just in your sixth months along,' Ron stated and then blushed furiously. 'I'm sorry, I didn't-' Hermione held up a hand.

'Actually,' she bid her lower lip lightly, cutting him off, 'it might have something to do with me having twins...' 

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**REVIEW! Thank you all for reviewing, do me the favour and review this chappie too! THANKS!**


	11. there’s nothing inside

**CHAPTER ELEVEN –** **there's nothing inside**

**_A/N: Many has told me that they understand Hermione's wrath, because no one helped her or believed her, but that's not true. As I state in one of my first chapters, I believe it's the second, then Albus tells that Harry interpreted Voldemort's head and told the Order, who believed her. But everything was against her and there was no proof of her innocence, which was important and relevant when sentencing Death Eaters. So, since there were no proof, only the Order's word, which isn't that good because they were close to her and of course didn't want her to be sentenced, then there was no other choice than to sentence her. Fudge was Minister at that time... well, you should read the chapters again, because I have described it._**

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Hermione sat on her rented bed at the Leaky Cauldron, not quite sure of what to do next. Her things needed to be unpacked, but that was done in no more than five seconds with her wand.

'What to do, what to do?' She murmured to herself while stroking her pregnant belly lightly. Already she missed New Zealand for its weather, it was after all on the other side of the planet, which made it near summer instead of winter like back in England. Harry and Ron were down in the bar to catch some light food for them all, while she waited patiently in her room. Things seemed slightly awkward, no one knew what to say, and when to say it, and Hermione did her best to try and get acquainted with her old friends again, though it was a rather tough job.

Harry and Ron came back with soup for the three of them, and slowly they sat and ate.

'McGonagall has released a book about her vision on Transfiguration...' Ron enlightened her quietly.

'I don't know anymore...' Hermione spoke quietly too. 'I just feel that if I ever open a book again people will see me as the little Hermione Granger who lived in the library,' she sighed lightly and felt the frustration bubble inside of her.

'But everyone knows that you're not the Hermione Granger you once was, the whole world knows...' Harry informed her truthfully. 'It's only yourself you have to convince...'

'Maybe you're right... See?' She moved in her chair annoyed. 'I'm back and I feel frustration already...' She made a frustrated noise and Harry and Ron chuckled lightly.

'Maybe you should see a doctor here in England, hear about what to do and all that...' Ron suggested, hoping that Hermione would take his advice. 

'Yes, I think I'll do it once I've rested...' Hermione agreed tiredly. Lately she never got any sleep because of the babies. Six months along and it had started to develop an interest in using its small limps.

'Severus...' Harry spoke, surprising Hermione by the name lightly. She had never thought she'd hear Harry call Snape for 'Severus'. 'He's a good man,' he half-ended the sentence. Hermione did not respond. 'I'm sure he didn't thought you'd get pregnant by...'

'It wasn't his fault,' Hermione cut him off, knowing where he was heading. 'It was my fault and whatever Severus Snape has told you is most likely wrong. He's a gentleman and therefore would probably never give anyone else the blame than himself...' she ended again and a dull silence hung around the three.

'Nonetheless...' Ron stated. 'Severus really loves you, Mione. He was devastated when you left and he was completely off when he found out that you weren't pregnant...' Ron's gaze turned towards the window ajar. 'He do not want to push you into anything, but he wants to be there for the children and you, you can see it in his face...' Hermione nodded slightly. She wasn't sure about her feelings. Some way she liked him, but then again not. She decided not to respond due unsettled feelings.

'I am not ready for commitment,' she finally answered when it seemed that the conversation wouldn't move further unless she answered.

'Just don't push him away from the babies...' Ron begged quietly.

'I won't. I promise I'll try and get myself together,' she promised and felt the need for air.

'Ginny misses you,' Harry suddenly informed.

'I'm sorry about what I said about your children, I was rather depressed...' Hermione rapidly excused and Harry gave her a laugh. 'I would like to rest, but will you give her and your children, my regards and then ask if she might be able to... swing by tomorrow around noon?' Hermione gave them an insecure smile. Ron was married to Lavender, which Hermione still couldn't get, and together they had gotten two little girls. Hermione wondered if she would have two girls, or two boys. Maybe she'd have one of both. She sincerely hoped neither would grow up to be like Lavender and Parvati, she could only imagine how horrible their children would become one day. 

'Sure thing, Mione,' both men stood lightly, not all knowing what to do. 'See you, Mione, and goodbye twins,' the two men said to the children inside of her, and dared not to touch her abdomen. She was glad they didn't touch, not yet. She wasn't sure how her mood would become if things moved too quickly, and she wasn't ready to find out. The two men left Hermione to be on her own, and Hermione stripped out of her summer dress. It was rather cold to wear it in England and she decided she should get some warmer clothes ready for the morning. After all, she had read in a book, which she had bought before leaving the country completely, that pregnant witches shouldn't be exposed to magic when pregnant because it might harm the child or the mother, even if it is just a warming spell.

'Blasted,' she informed and she tucked under the duvets. She sincerely hated not being able to do magic, because her feet were freezing off. 

-------

Hermione stood bended lightly, resting her hands on her thighs and trying to get her breath.

'Hermione,' a voice spoke, and Hermione turned towards the staircase, which she had just climbed. 'Are you alright?'

'I – hate – staircases,' she informed and corrected her composure. Ginny looked different, much different than she remembered her, but she was still pretty and looked rather motherly somehow.

'You wanted to see me?' Ginny asked, sounding slightly nervous.

'Yes, sorry about what I said about your children,' she apologised as the first thing. 'I've decided to pull myself together and for that I will need to get to know people again, so I wanted to ask you out for lunch,' Hermione looked at a beaming Ginny, and felt a light annoyance and then guilt for feeling it.

'Oh that would be great!' Ginny beamed, and Hermione gestured Ginny to follow her into her room, where they could take a seat before going. Hermione's feet seemed slightly numb, not to mention they seemed to get swollen after just two minutes of walk, so Hermione took a seat in a rocking chair and rocked slightly forward and back.

'Harry tells me that it's twins,' Ginny spoke and looked at Hermione's round belly.

'Yes,' Hermione answered shortly, but with surprisingly much love and care, while caressing her belly lightly. Somehow Hermione wanted to reveal her angst for giving birth, but she felt slightly uncomfortable.

'Don't be afraid,' Ginny informed as if she could read Hermione's thoughts. They eye-locked. 'It's a very special thing,' they smiled vaguely to each other. 'Where are you going to live?'

'I don't know. I can't live here with two babies I reckon, so I think I'll rent an apartment somewhere,' she slowly got up from the chair. 'Shall we get going?'

'You know, it's really nice to have you back. You gave everyone quite a scare with your carelessness...' Ginny informed with a half smile, Hermione barely returned it. 'When Professor Snape came back from the Hospital, Harry told he was completely off – he was at Hogwarts when the Professor came back, and then he told that you had gotten an abortion, Harry said Snape was devastated...'

'And told it to the rest of you, so now everyone knows,' Hermione supported and somehow felt rather bothered by so many knowing the truth.

'Snape really likes you...'

'How do you know?' Hermione asked interested, but Ginny did not respond. 'Precisely. Harry said the same yesterday, along with Ron, but I cannot see any changes between us. Yes I've been in Azkaban the past seven years, and yes I'm pregnant with his babies...' things seemed so odd when saying it out loud. 'But really, it doesn't mean that I should...'

'Forgive him for all he's done to you? No, you shouldn't, but you should definitely give him the chance to apologise and then move on and see what happens. Harry has forgiven him for his cruelty, Ron has too...' Hermione looked at Ginny and thought about things.

'It's odd,' Hermione informed as they entered Diagon Alley. 'Now I only feel like I've been gone in all half a year, like I'm back with you all and need to settle in again, nothing big. But somehow I made it so big, even though it really wasn't,' Hermione's voice didn't seem above any whisper, and Ginny did her best to hear what was told. People threw odd glances towards them as they went, some made a few surprised expressions, but people seemed to have read that it was all a mistake.

'Don't judge yourself too harsh, Mione,' Ginny asked quietly. 'You did what you felt and it was only naturally. I'd probably done the same. You didn't knew that we tried to find evidence and when you found out it was too late...' Ginny shrugged lightly. 'Nobody blames you, but everyone just waits for you to give sign so that they can welcome you back and cuddle around you and your unborn babies...' Hermione didn't respond right away, her mind was still puzzling about everything.

'If anyone, besides me, are to cuddle around my babies then it is Severus Snape. I don't think it would be fair to let anyone else but him cuddle first...' they entered a nice cafeteria and was greeted by a slightly anxious waitress, who took them to their seats.

'She's innocent,' Ginny snapped at the waitress, when her anxiety seemed to be too much. 'Soon someone will die,' Hermione informed once the waitress was gone, and she stroke her abdomen gently. Ginny looked slightly anxious, though she knew her old friend was joking. 

Slowly the two women got into a nice conversation about their lives, mostly Ginny's, and what Hermione had been doing since she left. They also talked about Severus Snape, but not much since Ginny seemed to see that Hermione was rather puzzled over her relationship with him, and wasn't ready for people giving her advise.

Afterwards Ginny followed Hermione back to the Leaky Cauldron, where they said goodbye so that Hermione could get some rest, before she would be going to the doctor at St. Mungos.

After having visited St. Mungos, and been told that her sweet twins were doing good and everything was going by schedule – so to speak – Hermione decided to go to Hogwarts. She found it only fair that Severus Snape was informed about the process. As much as she hated to confront him, well she was more afraid that he'd push her away, Hermione Apperated to Hogsmaede, and used the Floo to get to Albus Dumbledore's office. While at Hogwarts she might as well apologise for her rudeness.

'Miss Granger,' Albus Dumbledore spoke surprised when Hermione almost shot out of the fireplace, thought with a pregnant-security-floo-spell on her, so that she wouldn't fall or bump into something. A rather useful spell and she was rather glad it was invented.

'Professor Dumbledore,' Hermione greeted politely, and lowered her gaze in shame. 'I am here to apologise for my rude-'

'No need,' Albus Dumbledore cut her off. 'It is completely understandable and I'm rather glad you're back...' his eyes twinkled fondly as he gazed her grown belly.

'You were right,' she informed, sounding slightly sad somehow. 'These babies saved my life,' she caressed her belly lovingly, before meeting the aged wizard's gaze.

'Yes, I have been informed about the amount,' he smiled greatly to her.

'Yes, I figured. People seem to have established some kind of gossip-network,' Dumbledore laughed softly.

'Severus is in the dungeons...' Albus Dumbledore spoke quietly, not sure of her reaction.

'Not very surprising,' she smiled briskly. 'I've actually just visited St. Mungos today to hear about the process, and decided I should enlighten him and then apologise to you on the way...'

'I am glad you're letting him in...'

'Letting him in to a certain extent. It is only fair since he's the father...' she informed with a cool voice, to make the old wizard keep his ideas and pressure to himself.

'Shall I get him?'

'No, no need. I need to get into shape anyway,' she smiled brightly and got up from the chair.

'Will we see you at dinner tonight?' Albus Dumbledore questioned and Hermione shot a glance out of the window. It was snowing now, and she wasn't sure how long she would be staying. She'd rather not stay through dinner, since the vacation hadn't started yet, which meant there was a lot of students everywhere.

'No, I will be leaving after my visit,' Hermione enlightened, though rather polite.

'You can use Severus's fire to get to Hogsmaede or all the way home, or you are most welcome to come back and use mine,' his eyes twinkled again, and Hermione felt slightly safe, safer than she had felt in the wizarding world for a long time.

'I don't think I can bare walking up the stairs,' Hermione admitted with a light blush, and made Dumbledore chuckle.

'Well, Hermione,' he looked into her eyes, 'It was a pleasure seeing you again and I do hope to see more to you,' he enlightened sincerely and Hermione nodded, and was followed to the door by Dumbledore.

'Goodbye headmaster,' she bowed lightly towards the headmaster.

'Please, Hermione, call me Albus,' he asked and Hermione nodded lightly, and made her leave towards the cold dungeons.

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	12. little schoolgirl

_I got a question concerning Apperation. I don't see Apperation as a direct magic against the body, though it's purpose is to remove to body from one place to another, that's why Hermione can use it even though she's pregnant._

_Then I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed. I hope that with this chapter I will reach the 200 reviews, so please do me a favour and review. _

**I'd also like to point out that I have just begun updating another story: Who's the Man, which is a challenge fic also and Hermione who has been turned into a man. It's rather hilarious, or at least I think so. PLease read the first chapter and say what you think.**

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**CHAPTER TWELVE – little schoolgirl**

The corridors were slightly cold, much bothering to Hermione who already had a hard time since she wasn't allowed to do magic on herself. Her steps sunk slightly into the old carpet, which the floors were covered with. She looked around as she went, remembering everything about her schooldays, and it brought a light smile to her, before it was turned into a sigh. It didn't feel right being back at Hogwarts but it felt surreal. Her old life was gone and there were no threads to pick up and continue from where she left. She felt as if she was cheating herself, as if she was trying to tell herself that things would go back to normal soon, but deep inside she knew that nothing would ever be the same, that she would never be the same again. It was a depressing thought, and the more she thought about it the she wished she hadn't come back.

Students looked after her as she went, still in a rather light shock to see _the_ Hermione Granger walking, so suddenly, around at Hogwarts. They had read about her plenty of times, since she was friend of Harry Potter, but of course her capturing had brought her to the front pages more than she could ever have gotten from _just_ being friend with Harry.

Finally she reached the entrance hall, where a small door led to the dungeons. A few students, whom she suspected to be Slytherins, stood by the door, chatting. They shot her surprised glares when she reached them, but moved aside to let her pass. It made her wonder how the students were now days. Were they good to one another? Were they cruel like they had been when she had attended?

Her steps echoed lightly as she went into the half-darkness. She was only illuminated lightly by torches, with green light, on the walls, which threw long green shadows around her and danced lightly by the unnoticed wind.

She remembered clearly countless of times when Harry and Ron had come back from a detention with Snape. How they hated him and sputtered cruelty for minutes, but in the end she had to tell them to relax. She had never attended a detention before, which was something she was rather proud of, and so she had wondered how a detention with Snape might be. Ron and Harry had told they had to clean his office, clean the potions room, etc. without magic. She could just imagine how Snape had stood behind them, sneering coldly and menacing as they served their detention. God what an arse!

Slowly she reached the door to the potions room, and waited a minute or two before knocking, sucking every little memory in. She knocked, and received a barked enter, and Hermione found herself scowling by the feeling of being back at Hogwarts. This was the last thing she wanted, to become the 'old' Hermione again, and Snape had successfully accomplished in making her feel unwanted and a child again!

'Professor,' Hermione greeted politely, though with a hint clear coldness. Severus Snape looked up surprised. Hermione noted that he didn't really know of what to do with himself, or her for that matter.

'Hermione,' he said finally and let out some air he hadn't known he'd been holding, and pulled out a chair for her, on which he helped her to sit down on. It was nice to sit down again, she seriously hated walking while being pregnant. Her feet hurt all the time, not to mention the swellings around her ankles, and she was tired all the time.

'Thank you,' she thanked and looked around, nothing had changed.

'What can I do for you?' His voice was polite, like it had been once they had gotten to 'know' each other when he 'baby-sitted' her. They situation suddenly seemed to unfamiliar and they seemed to be casual polite against each other instead of acting normal.

'Well I was at St. Mungos today, to get a doctor and get informed about thing-' she had barely finished the sentence, before Severus Snape cut her off.

'Nothing is wrong, is there?' Such caring and adoration, she felt slightly appreciated, but then again not. Maybe he only cared for the children, since he was the father and all...

'No, nothing is wrong,' she made a slight hurt face, 'I just thought it fair to include you in this, before anyone else, since you are their father...' there was a short pause, where neither spoke. 'Listen,' she took a deep breath. 'I'm really trying to get back on my feet, apologising to people and such, but things are still difficult. People tells me not to shut you out, which I won't,' for a second he seemed to be about to smile, 'but I cannot just let you in, I want you to prove yourself...' he looked at oddly for a moment. 

'I'll do everything for you,' he informed her almost soundlessly, surprising her with his answer.

'I don't mean to fetch me ice in the middle of the night,' she informed slowly, 'I mean that I wish to get to know the person, who is the father to my children...' Hermione knew she was doing things wrong, she had known it since she had opened her mouth when she entered, but she also wasn't ready to just let things go his way.

'To know me...' Severus Snape echoed lightly.

'I do not know of the future, but how else can I let you see our children if I do not trust you entirely?' Her voice was barely a whisper, but Severus Snape heard it anyway.

'You will be a good mother,' he informed her just as quiet. When he had found out that she was expecting twins... he had been ecstatic. He tried to keep his happiness down, because he was afraid she might shut him out again and that he might get up. Call it self-preservation, and he had lived with it his whole life.

'You're allowed to be their father, to be there for them if you wish...'

'What about you? Can I be there for you too?' He questioned, knowing it was a question, which he desperately needed an answer to.

'We'll see,' she felt like moving away. Things were getting too close again and it bothered her.

'Then I would be glad if you would do me the honour to accompany me to Snape manor tonight, to have dinner with me and see how I live and who I am,' Hermione saw a flash of anxiety roll into his eyes, and she knew he never let anyone in completely. Somehow she felt honoured to be let in, and she knew, no matter how exhausted she felt, that she could not say no, and she really didn't want to say no. 'Tonight at seven?'

'I would be delighted,' she answered politely. 'You can pick me up at the Leaky Cauldron,' Hermione made to get up, and Severus Snape helped her. 'I need to get back and get some rest,' she smiled lightly. 'Can I use your floo?'

'Is it safe when... pregnant?'

'Yes. Floo-ing and Apperation is safe enough, but magic where the spells are directed at me entirely is not completely safe and I have been given a warning by books and my doctor about it,' she smiled briefly again, and followed him into his office.

She exited the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron and was greeted back by Tom the Bartender. She asked for food and then made her way to her room, but not before moaning about the damn staircase, which was the way up to her room.

She managed to get up the staircase and into her room, though getting rather exhausted, and then she slumped into the rocking chair, which was one of the only objects she owned. Tom came with her food, along with ice cream, and then Hermione was left to herself and her thoughts.

What would a 'date' with Severus Snape be like? What was Snape manor like, and could she ever succumb to thought of becoming his wife?

'Who said anything about wife?' Hermione muttered questioningly, before turning to her food. She played gently with the thought of Severus Snape asking her to marry her, and felt a light tinkle inside of her. Her children moved a bit and kicked her lightly in her ribs, she moaned hurt, but supposed that they liked the thought, or feeling, of two becoming one.

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	13. the devil incarnate

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN – the devil incarnate**

Hermione was worried. She tried her best to calm down, but the knowledge of that there were less than two hours until her Big Date with the Devil didn't seem to ease her. She had found her favourite clothes to wear. It was velvet wine red and dark green and it was a long dress to the floor. The sleeves were loose, though loosened greatly at the elbow. It was tight across her chest, keeping her large breasts in place, and then it loosened to make room for pregnant belly, before going all the way down to the floor. It had been a while since she had worn it, but with a quick spell she had managed to make it bigger so there was room for everything. Her long hair, still rather messy, was tamed and put up in nice hair-do, letting a few loose hair-locks dangle to frame her face.

Now there was one hour until the date and Hermione was pacing room down. There was a tingling feeling in her belly of excitement and then there was a nauseating feeling of anxiety and dread. Somehow she wished she had never said yes to meet with him, but it was too late now. She could just leave, she supposed. Naa, that wouldn't do. She had gotten a few morals along with a conscience, which basically made her unable to leave unless she would feel really bad. Dammit!

"Somebody bloody kill me!" Hermione muttered irritably, not being able to suppress her anxiety anymore. "This is hell!" She was hiding her face in her hand, trying to figure out a way to calm herself, when there was a polite knock on her door. She looked at her watch, there was twenty minutes until Severus would arrive.

'Miss Granger,' Tom the barkeeper greeted her politely. 'Professor Severus Snape has arrived,' Hermione nodded and went to get her purse, after which Tom followed her down to see Severus Snape. He was rather early, but at least she wouldn't have to wait any longer!

Severus Snape was standing in his own world, thinking about his situation and his feelings towards the woman, whom he was waiting for. His thoughts were immediately broken when the most beautiful creature descended the stairs, arm locking with the barkeeper. Hermione Granger looked astounding. The beautiful dress, which was tight, but not too tight and then softly it showed her large belly. To Severus then nothing in the world was more beautiful that she was in this moment. Breath-taking.

'I used to be rather punctual, but I couldn't wait to get going,' he revealed uncertain, and Hermione smiled safely to him.

'I don't mind, I was done about half an hour ago,' she revealed.

'Can you Apperate to here?' He showed her a map and Hermione nodded, after which she Apperated off. Severus Snape gestured for her arm politely, which she accepted gratefully. The small walk up to the Snape Manor was silent and uncomfortable, since neither knew how to start out. Hermione caressed her belly, like she did always, and enjoyed the nature, until she saw Snape Manor after which she stopped her tracks abruptly.

'Is there anything wrong?' Severus Snape asked worried, thinking in the line that she and the babies were not feeling the top. Hermione slowly turned her gaze towards Severus.

'It's quite big,' she revealed uncertainly, though sounding rather dim, which made her laugh lightly.

'It is a family esteem. From father to eldest and so on...'

'What about the second or third baby?'

'As it is we own a rather large number of esteems around then world, well mostly in Spain, Italy and Greece do we have a some larger estates, but otherwise there is bought new ones...' Hermione couldn't really get things to fit, where did the money come from?

'I do not mean to pride, sir,' Hermione excuse.

'Please, Hermione, you must call me Severus,' Severus asked importantly and Hermione nodded. 

'Severus,' she agreed, 'as I was saying: I do not mean to pride, but as it is a cannot help wondering-'

'Where we get the money from?' He smiled lightly to her. 'Like many people who wish to earn money then we own a lot of things,' there was a small pause, 'we own condos, muggle as wizards',' this surprised Hermione, who hadn't really known what to expect. 'Miss Granger,' he sneered accidentally lightly, 'Hermione really,' he changed, 'many believe that my family is pure evil, and they're right at most points, but that does not mean that they can't use the muggles to get money from,' it sounded rather harsh, and Hermione was beginning to feel angry.

'Please do not get upset,' he asked pleadingly, knowing that he had said it in the wrong way. 'Muggles do the same to one another. They rent out things and get money from it, we rent also condos and houses out to wizards,' he informed rapidly, hoping to calm her down. 'We Snapes own buildings all around the world. It is the oldest in the family to see to that things are being taken cared of and such...'

'How many Snapes are there?' Hermione suddenly felt a fleeting sensation when thinking that she was about to meet his parents. He let out a heartily laugh, as if he had read her mind.

'Don't worry, you won't meet my parents or any family members...' he assured her, and he saw that she looked rather relieved. 'They would see it a shame that you were pregnant before a marriage...'

'Typical purebloods to be so much into tradition and what's right and wrong...' she informed quietly; he nodded.

'My aunt and uncle were unable to get children, so when they died they estates passed to the living relatives, which there aren't many of, since my grand-grand-aunt and grand-grand-uncle got a squid, which they felt ashamed over...' Hermione opened her mouth in rage. 'Hermione no,' he asked quickly, 'I have no idea where the child went, but they got a new one, which was also unable to do magic, and so the line slowly died out with them. People mostly got only one child, and some didn't get any at all...'

'That's awful,' Hermione revealed quietly.

'That's pureblood families. Many too high to think that other families could be worth them...' he shook his head.

'You've been under the belief too..." she remembered quietly, averting her gaze from him and onto some trees, which would look beautiful in the summer.

"I am not pretending that I've never thought that muggleborns were unworthy of magic or that pureblood families are better than other families," he stated, though with a hint of frost, "however, I am over that naivety and have been for over 25 years," he informed in assurance. This made him feel rather old.

"What made you turn to the light?" He had known that question would pop up sooner or later, but he was somehow never prepared when it finally came. There was a pause where Hermione wondered if she had crossed the line, but she also found herself quite careless to what line he had drawn. She, just as he, knew that she needed to be 100 per cent sure of him.

"When I was 18, just left Hogwarts, I got the Mark..." he paused in shame. "I was promised many things; one of them was to become the greatest Potion Maker in history..." another dramatic pause. "I was naïve and entered the society. I was taught in many things, but one night I was taken out on a raid..." another pause. Hermione wished she could support him, but since she had been under the power of a Death Eater the only thing she could do was listen and feel disgusted, but happy that he told the truth. "You know as well as I what I was instructed to do, and I did so. No matter how bad I felt I did what everyone else did. It wasn't until that we one night entered a house with a muggle family. The mother and father were killed and the child, I think she was about four, was blown up. The way she had looked at me, not with anger, hatred, or freight, but with... innocence..." a vision of the girl in front of him and he remembered how he had felt. "Innocent and then she was killed by a Death Eater..." he looked at Hermione's belly for a second and then turned his face away in shame. "I decided never to do it again and so I went to Dumbledore. Trusted my life to him and lived my life as a spy..."

"At least you converted," Hermione knew it was a bad comfort, but somehow she really wasn't interested in comforting him.

"But my deeds is not made undone," he answered quietly.

"No, but your deeds made you to the one you are today, a good man who live to turn the world good again," she had first thought of saying honest, but when did a spy become honest? "Perhaps," she spoke quietly, "it is time for you to move on. Do not forget what you've done, but use it to teach people what might happen if they go down that road. Teach your children it," her voice was barely sound, but with his spying skills he been taught to listen and heard very well what she said. They stepped into the house, and Hermione suddenly came to wonder if held slaves.

"I do not hold house-elves, so you needn't look so worried," he half smiled to her and Hermione let out a giggle.

"How did you know that was why I seemed to worried?" She met his eyes and he quirked an eyebrow.

"Your SPEW activities did not go unnoticed," she blushed furiously. 

"Oh well, yeah..." she said unintelligently in lack of anything better. "Why don't you have them?" She looked at him and hoped he would say that he found it cruel.

"They eventually died," he chuckled lightly, knowing that she had wanted a different answer. Hermione rolled her eyes at him as he helped her off with her cloak. "But I am mostly at Hogwarts so I don't need house-elves..." he hung their cloaks in a nearby closet. "I am quite capable of dusting myself," Hermione laughed lightly by the sight of Snape walking around with a duster, cleaning.

"What might you find so funny, _miss Granger_," Severus questioned silvery in tease.

"You with a duster," she responded with a light grin. He shook his head of her. "Does that mean that when you're here you're actually preparing your own dinner?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"I'll be preparing our dinner tonight," he gave her a wistful and devilish smile. "I find myself a very competent cook actually," he informed her, hands collected behind his back as he followed her around the manor. The Snape history was very interesting and every little thing fascinated Hermione. Severus also told his story, with every little detail. They were greeted by portraits, which usually came with some comment to Severus about finally settling down.

"This room," they stopped outside a room on the second floor, "it is locked and cannot be opened by a simple Alohomora spell," he informed her importantly.

"What is in there?" Her curiosity had been piqued.

"Gryffindor curiosity," he shook his head, but nonetheless launched into an explanation. "My great-great-grandmother..." he gave her a weak smile, "was rather upset on my great-grandfather, her in-law, and so she hexed his room..." there was an odd silence where Hermione looked at him dumbfounded. "We believe the closet in there killed him," a low sigh, "but the bathroom is very much alive too along with the bed..."

"So she spelled the objects so when he went to get some clothes in his closet, or felt tired, he would be killed?" Hermione looked at him shocked and Severus damned himself for telling her this since it obviously made her upset.

"Yes..." he said slightly anxious and Hermione wrinkled her nose cutely.

"You'd never do such thing, would you?" Her eyes searched his and looked into them emotionally.

"Of course not," he responded truthfully.

"What did your great-grandmother do when she found out her husband had been killed?" Hermione asked interested.

"You don't want to know," he answered insecure and Hermione narrowed her eyes lightly and the tried to relax. She gave a low moan as she felt her children kick in discomfort.

"Are you OK? I shouldn't have told you about it," he apologised deeply, but Hermione held up a hand.

"Yes you should," she answered and tried to smile. "But this is not happening because of your little family fairytale," she moaned in hurt and Severus conjured a chair for her to sit on.

'Does it hurt?' Severus questioned worried.

'That depends where they kick me,' Hermione said and caressed her belly in hope her children would calm down. The two children moved, making Hermione moan lightly in hurt again. "They tend to struggle over the space," she gave a weak smile, but it was remove as they kicked again, "they like music," she said quietly. "It calms them and sometimes I am quite sure that they're dancing, if that is possible," she let out a small giggle and Severus chuckled lightly. 'Do you want feel?' Hermione took his hand before get got to answer, and moved it around on her belly. 

'It kicked, they kicked!' Severus informed with a rather dim expression, making Hermione giggle, and realised that the smiling Severus Snape was a rather attractive man. She watched him quietly, until he noticed her gaze and looked at her. She smiled and felt a light blush rise.

'It is incredible,' she revealed and caressed her belly again when Severus had pulled his hand back. Somehow Severus had always been jealous at woman for being able to get pregnant; the special bond between a mother and a child, not only when the child is born, but also in the pregnancy. The fact that the woman was never alone, but always had the child with them. Pregnant women were so vulnerable, begging soundlessly for support, which they get from almost everyone, friend as foe. He envied them. Hermione moved to get up from the chair, and Severus helped her.

"Are you in hurt?" He questioned when he noticed her expression when walking.

"My feet are killing me," she revealed and Severus decided to take her to the kitchen instead of walking so much.

"I read in a book that women's ankles tend to get swollen under a pregnancy," he sounded almost like Hermione had done when attending Hogwarts, and Hermione let out a heartily laughter, making Severus look confused, and blush and dull red. "You're not the only one who tends to pre-search on the different matters," he informed her with a slightly raised eyebrow and a small smile on his thin lips. Suddenly Hermione remembered the feeling she had had when she had been with Severus sexually. He was a very handsome man, in his own way, and very proud too, but there was also some tease over it all. "What?" He questioned insecure when he expression went from laughing to a soft and unreadable expression.

"Nothing," she said wistfully, but still he felt her eyes upon him, and he got the fleeting thought if he might have something in his face. They walked in silence to the kitchen and Severus was glad to find that she had diverted her eyes from him, because truthfully he always hated when people looked at him for too long, unless in class.

They reached the kitchen, which surprised Hermione to how big it actually was, and Severus seated a tired Hermione before seating himself.

"So, Mr Chef," Hermione looked at him with a smirk, "what are your plans?" She looked at him interested. 

"Secret, for now, and you just need to sit there while I cook," he asked. Hermione couldn't help by laugh. If anyone had ever told her that she would sit with Severus Snape, fearsome Potions Master of Hogwarts, in his kitchen while he prepared food for her, and him, she'd say they were mad and should consider a commitment to St. Mungos. But then again, if anyone had just said that she'd be pregnant with his child one day she'd commit him or her herself. "I come to wonder what it is you find so funny, Hermione," Severus quirked an interested eyebrow and his voice was slightly teasing as he undressed his unnecessary layers of cloaks before starting. Hermione watched him in an almost fascination.

"Just that if anyone had ever told me that I'd be in this situation with you I'd have them committed to St. Mungos," she smirked smugly at him and he let out a true laugh, startling Hermione slightly, but also calming her. "Good sign," she mumbled.

"What is?" He asked interested as he turned on the stove.

"You laughing, means you're human," she grinned at him cheekily, making him chuckle again.

"Ever been convinced of otherwise?" He wondered aloud and Hermione giggled delighted.

"Really, Severus," she smirked at him, "there's something vampire-ish over you," she said with light tease.

"Yes, be careful I don't suck your blood soon," he informed sounding as if he meant it. It made her giggle and made her feel better.

"Does everyone else know that you're actually quite funny?" She asked suddenly.

"Who said I was joking?" He wondered and the corner of his mouth twisted upwards slightly by her serious expression. There was an odd pause between the pair, both thinking about the babies, but it was as if they were taboo and it was difficult to start a talk about them. Severus had many questions, but knew that Hermione wasn't ready, and he really couldn't blame her. This was their date and to bring the children into the conversation made things too stressed. He knew they'd talk about it soon, but just not now. Neither was ready, but it would be soon.

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**It has been really difficult to write up until now. You see, I have to make Hermione less angry and that's hard. I know you like a bitchy 'Mione, so do I, but she has to move on and get less irritated, though I do try to still let her keep some of her coolness in special occasions. Please review.**


	14. living in green

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN – living in green**

It had been a nice _date_ with Severus Snape, but to be honest then it had been too much.

She hadn't realised it before it was too late, but the fact that she had only just arrived back from New Zealand, her company with Harry and Ron, her meeting with Ginny and then same day a date with Severus had taken its toll on her and she had felt the urge to get away again.

It was by force that she actually stayed in England. She knew it wasn't fair to people if she left and therefore forced herself to ignore the wish to leave. She decided that nothing hurt if she left for a weekend to go visit Henry and Martha. She could need to see them and be with someone who did not know the truth about her past.

'_Dear Hermione,_

_I hope you have no regrets about our date, I myself found it really enjoyable. I can't make this letter too long, because I have some duties. I just wanted to hear how you are and tell you how nice it was to see you. Hope you and the babies are doing good and let me know if you need anything. See you soon, hopefully._

Severus' 

Severus hadn't really known how he should end the letter, but decided to end without endearment.

'_Dear Severus,_

_I had a nice time too, the food was delicious, and it was nice getting to know you. I am leaving England for week's time, just to gather myself. England is too cold, so I will be leaving for New Zealand again, but I will go see you the minute I come back._

Hermione' 

Hermione too was insecure of how she should end the letter and decided to do it plain and his had been. His answer to her leaving had been short and she knew that he wasn't sure of what to write. She had told him she'd return again, but she just needed to some time with the hills and nature. She wasn't sure if he had understood her need, but somehow she didn't care either. What she cared about was herself and her babies, and they needed air!

Determined, and a shrunken trunk full of her clothes, Hermione made her way over to the fireplace at the post office in Diagon Alley, which use she had been granted. She had told Tom the Barkeeper than she wouldn't return before a week, she supposed that was enough time to get herself down again, and then she had wrote and told Severus about it. She glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the owl had taken. Then she cast the pregnancy-protection spell around her and stepped into the fireplace. She liked that spell; it made pregnant women able to get around without worry for their unborn children. It felt like minutes and Hermione tried to relax. Finally she came out of the fireplace of a New Zealandish wizarding pub. She felt sick and made her way to the bathroom, where she allowed herself to vomit. She moaned in disgust and left the lavatory again. A quick flick of her wrist and Hermione Apperated off to the town she had lived in. She turned her small trunk to its regular size and then she stepped out between the Apperation spot and corrected herself. She could feel her babies weren't feeling their best and it might be a good idea to get some food at Inn before going to visit Henry and Martha.

She ordered a solid meal and then when she had finished eating she made her way to her two friends.

"Hermione!" Martha yelled happily and beamed. She waved Hermione inside. She knew that Hermione wasn't good with touching people for some reason, and did not push her at all. "What are you- Henry, Henry! Hermione is here!" Martha yelled from the entrance of the house. "Well come in, dearest!" Martha took Hermione inside and seated her in a couch, before rushing into the kitchen to make tea.

"Hello there, Hermione," Henry came over and greeted Hermione with a light bow and then they seated. "What are you doing here? Not that I mind, certainly not," he smiled happily at her.

"Oh I just wanted to pop by and visit you. I left so quickly you know," she apologised shamefully.

"You're always welcome here!" Martha came out from the kitchen with a steaming teapot and three cups on a tray, which she put on the table before taking a seat. "Now, tell us everything," Martha asked as she poured tea for them all. Hermione told everything, from her date with the children's father and such. She of course tried to keep it in muggle language. She spoke of her frustrations and soon she felt much better.

"Well," Martha said pausing, "something happened, which made you grow in an other direction than them," Martha spoke quietly, "but I am sure you can ask them for advice..."

"Mrs Weasley is a very polite lady and she has a lot of children, I could ask her, but I feel afraid..." Hermione revealed saddened. "I just feel like if I ask them then it'll make us closer, and I already feel too close too fast..." she let a sigh escape her delicate lips, but it was unheard since it had happened as she was about to take a sip of her tea. "She's given birth to twins too..."

"Why are you afraid of getting close to them again?" Henry asked the question, which Hermione had questioned herself. She looked up at him with sad eyes and shook her head.

"I-I am not quite sure, actually," she said uncertain.

"Then who is?" Martha looked questioningly at Hermione. "You know," Martha moved closer, "when something as big is confusing, really big, then it often has something to do with the person being confused too..."

"So what you're saying is that I am confused?" Hermione wondered and looked into Martha's trustful eyes.

"Yes. Then the question is what are you confused about?"

"I don't know," Hermione said slowly and let out another sigh.

"I think you should sleep on it," Martha said securely and smiled lightly, "I trust you're sleeping here?"

"If it is not a too big bother," Hermione said and Martha smiled widely.

"Not at all, not at all!" She beamed and followed Hermione into the guestroom. "How long will you be staying?"

"A week," Hermione said.

"I am glad. Now, dear, you really need to sleep," it was after all close to evening since Hermione had made her arrangements in England around afternoon. She didn't really feel tired, since her sleep was turned upside down, but she was almost asleep right away when she lay down.

The days were a drag since Hermione had just converted into the English time and then now back to New Zealand time. She spent her time with Martha baking cookies and cakes, and together they visited Henry out on the fields with food and made a picnic with him. It did her good to be in the New Zealand nature. Her babies were doing well and she was feeling better again. Though, the thought of going back to England was dreaded, but Hermione wasn't sure of how people would take things if she wrote and told that she would be staying a week further. Severus seemed to be on the edge of everything already. He was anxious for her and nervous for her health and the babies, she could see it in his eyes. His letters eradiated with questions, which she knew he had, but did not write down since he felt it would be priding too much. She wasn't sure if she liked that he kept all his worries and questions to himself or not. Right now it didn't matter though, right now she was in New Zealand, away from stress and wizards.

It was the 29th of November. Hermione had barely been there for four days when somebody knocked on the door. Martha, Henry, and Hermione were eating dinner when it knocked on the door.

"Who might that be," Martha questioned, but made to get up anyway.

"Might be Richard," Henry informed. "He said he'd drop by today or tomorrow." Martha did not respond, but made her way out to open. There were some noise and then Martha came back into the sitting room, looking almost worried.

Hermione was surprised to see familiar wizards standing behind Martha.

"Hermione," Martha moved over to Hermione. "Do you think you can handle them?" She whispered in Hermione's ear. Martha was so helping; it was nice. Hermione nodded. "You can use the second sitting room to talk in," Martha showed them inside, followed by Hermione. "If you need me, dear, just call," Martha asked and Hermione nodded. Martha closed the door safely behind her, after which Harry Potter threw a silencing charm upon the room. They looked worried and a cold air made its way down her spine, correcting her composure, and leaving Hermione with a rather uncomfortable feeling. Something was definitely wrong.

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**REVIEW! I need some good reviews and a lot of them! Tell me what'a think! Thanks!**


	15. intruder

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN – intruder**

"_Hermione," Martha moved over to Hermione. "Do you think you can handle them?" She whispered in Hermione's ear. Martha was so helping; it was nice. Hermione nodded. "You can use the second sitting room to talk in," Martha showed them inside, followed by Hermione. "If you need me, dear, just call," Martha asked and Hermione nodded. Martha closed the door safely behind her, after which Harry Potter threw a silencing charm upon the room. They looked worried and a cold air made its way down her spine, correcting her composure, and leaving Hermione with a rather uncomfortable feeling. Something was definitely wrong._

"Don't just stand there, tell me what is wrong!" Hermione finally broke the silence with an angry bark, surprising people. She let her hand slide over her belly and caressed it. "I am sorry," she apologised. Severus Snape, Remus J Lupin, Nymphedora Tonks, and Harry Potter were there and seemed distressed.

"Don't be," Tonks said and Severus took Hermione to the couch.

"Is it so bad that I need to sit?" She asked; feeling unnerved by their silence.

"Hermione," Harry started when he had taken a seat. Remus sat in the couch on the one side of Hermione and Tonks on the other side, while Severus stood and Harry sat in a chair.

"Rudolfus Lestrange came to look for you yesterday at the Leaky Cauldron. He ruined your room and Tom the Barkeeper called the Ministry, who informed Shacklebolt, since he's an Auror, who told Dumbledore –"

"Who told you," Hermione finished in a half-hoarse voice. Her arms rested around her belly protectively.

"He haven't been caught yet and he's clearly after you..." Tonks said quietly. Hermione's facial expression went from thoughtful to blank and then from blank to worried. She stood and made a low squeak, after which it followed by need for air and she gasped lightly. Severus came to aid her with standing and the three others stood too.

"I..." she had no idea of what to say. Her hands were touching her abdomen protectively. "I don't want to lose them," she whispered and let Severus give her the comfort her had wanted to give for so long. His strong arms found their way around her and held her safe and protected her. She didn't mind the comfort, she urged it and held tight in his robes for safety.

"Don't worry we won't let him have you," Harry said, giving Severus and Hermione a weak smile by their closeness.

"But we need you to come with us now," Remus said and Hermione nodded.

"Yes... yes," she untangled herself from Severus's embrace and suddenly felt weak and frozen when she wasn't in his arms any longer. Harry lifted the silencing charm and Hermione opened the door and followed with them out. "Martha, Henry," Hermione said when she reached them. She felt unsafe and insecure. Her babies could feel her insecurity and for them she tried to calm down, but with no luck.

"Hermione, dear," Martha said and then looked at the four visitors sternly when she saw Hermione's slight anxiousness.

"Martha I need to leave, something has occurred, but I promise I will be back soon," Hermione promised and Martha nodded.

"It's far away from England, so don't come before you've had your lovely babies," Martha asked and gave Hermione a genuine smile. Martha followed Hermione into the guestroom, leaving Henry with the four wizards. He was looking at them through narrowed and distrustful eyes, but said nothing. His eyes changed from distrustful to happy when Hermione and Martha emerged from the guestroom with Hermione's small trunk.

"You need help coming to the airport?" Henry finally turned his attention away from the four wizards and over to Hermione and Martha.

"No need, we already have transportation," Harry said politely, but Henry ignored him safely.

"No need," Hermione echoed politely and went to give Henry and great hug.

"Next time we see you we want to see babies too," Henry said to her happily and Hermione giggled lightly.

"I will bring them," Hermione promised and tried to ignore the uncomfortable and treacherous feeling in her stomach.

"You be careful with her," Henry addressed the four wizards, who all nodded in assurance.

"And be careful, Hermione, don't work too much!" Martha begged as she followed them to the door. "I'll be after you if she don't stay calm!" Martha warned the four guests with a stern voice, and they promised rapidly that they'd take care of her.

Once at a safe distance from the house Hermione shrunk her trunk and put it in her pocket. Again she felt insecure and gave a low shudder until Harry hugged her and held her safe. Though, it was nothing like the way Severus had held her safe.

"Come, we'll be taking Portkey since we'll be going to Hogwarts," Remus spoke in a hushed voice. They gathered around a feather from Fawkes, Severus, and Harry both having a firm grasp in Hermione, and then she felt them take off from the ground.

They landed in Dumbledore's office. Harry and Severus and still having a firm grasp in Hermione, but they loosened when they knew she was safe. The room was filled already with Order members, who all greeted politely. Hermione felt close to vomiting and she felt the urge to get away. On instinct she took a step back, feeling too insecure. She wrapped her arms around herself and her belly, trying to ignore people's gazes.

"Hermione, welcome back," Dumbledore greeted and Hermione looked up at him without smiling. Severus moved closer to her and she grasped his robes and pulled him closer in protection. Then she moved closer and took a seat, still having a firm grab in Severus. He rested his hand on her shoulder, supporting her. He was glad that she held him close, because it made him feel wanted and he had wanted to feel that for so long.

"Good day, headmaster," Hermione spoke and everyone took their seats. Severus took a seat in a chair next to Hermione's.

"You may recognise some from the Order," he gestured out to the room, and Hermione's eyes skimmed the room quickly before landing upon the headmaster again. "As you've probably been told, then Rudolfus Lestrange came for you at the Leaky Cauldron yesterday," he looked older than she remembered him, and Hermione found herself feeling bad about being such a difficult woman.

"Just tell me if you wish for me to stay at Hogwarts. I will follow your instructions to the last," Hermione cut him off, voice full of emotions. She was still having a firm grab in Severus's cloak, while her other hand stroked her abdomen calmingly.

"I'd like for you to stay here at Hogwarts..." Dumbledore said and Hermione nodded.

"Will we be safe?" She questioned importantly. People smiled gently for her speaking on behalf of her children too. "Don't you think that, that he might be in contact with the Slytherins? If there's the slightest possibility then I cannot stay..." she informed truthfully. She refused to endanger her children even the slightest.

"You are quite safe, Hermione," Dumbledore promised her, and she nodded fractionally. "He is not in contact with any students and the Order is looking for him and keeping you safe, you can trust on that," Dumbledore informed and again she nodded.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly, "everyone," her she turned her head to each side so she could see people. They smiled securely to her. "Where will I sleep?" Her gaze flashed towards Severus.

"You will have your own quarters if you wish, otherwise I am quite sure Severus wouldn't mind letting you live in his quarters," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled bright and Hermione smiled and nodded in approve.

"Severus's quarters will be fine..." she agreed, "I will be going there now then. I feel that I have upset my children too much tonight as I have upset myself," she made to stand and Severus followed her lead. "Thank you again, everyone," she thanked again from her heart. Severus led her out of the headmaster's office along with Harry, Ron, and Remus. Harry and Ron walked in front of her down the staircase, throwing glances towards her, and behind Remus and Severus walked, reading to grasp her if she fell. Hermione let out a heartily laughter.

"Really, I am pregnant not a glass," she informed and smiled safely at people.

"Sorry," they mumbled and they reached the end of the staircase. They all followed in silence towards the dungeons, until Hermione stopped abruptly and turned towards Severus, who suddenly got a worried look on his face.

"Is there-"Hermione held up a hand to prevent him from speaking further.

"I just realised," she said quietly and worried her lower lip, "that I am invading your personal space," she got an apologetic look on her face. Somehow he was utterly pleased that she had chosen to stay with him and not alone, but somehow he couldn't squash that surprising feeling, of being too many, down. He hadn't thought about it until she brought it up.

"No need," he lied and waved his hand dismissively. He gestured her to continue walking, and so she did while calmly caressing her abdomen. Severus watched as she caressed it. Somehow it looked like it was planned. Each caress wasn't just coincidental, but it looked as if it was planned to detail for her exact movement went. It was hard to describe. He wondered how it was to be pregnant and felt the silly urge to ask arise. Of course, he never did ask, that would have made him look like a fool. They reached the entrance to his personal quarters and Severus felt that they were too many again. He turned and quirked an eyebrow at Remus.

"Oh yeah," Remus said, "We'll be wishing you goodnight here, Hermione," Hermione gave him a questioningly glare, but was surprised as Remus hugged her. An unwilling shudder went through her and Remus moved away, looking apologising.

"I am sorry," she apologised quickly, "I haven't had contact with humans for a long while," she apologised.

"I'm the one to be sorry, Hermione," Remus apologised, and Severus cleared his throat.

"Now that you've both apologised may we proceed?" He questioned silvery, stepping into character again.

"Yes, well," Ron clasped his hands together. "We'll see you soon, Hermione," Ron said and they stood in some odd silence.

"Yep. Just write if you need anything," Harry said and then Remus steered the two young men away again. Hermione looked after them, suddenly feeling foolish. She gave a low sigh and then turned to Severus again, who was regarding her with a slightly worried expression, though he tried to cover it up when she looked at him.

"Please remember the password, and don't... tell anyone about it," he asked, quietly, as if she had anyone to tell it to. "Auguries of Innocence," he spoke and an entrance was revealed in the otherwise naked stonewall.

"William Blake," Hermione whispered more to herself than him.

"Pardon?" He questioned, not catching what she said.

"To see the World in a Grain of Sand, and Heaven..."

"In a Wild Flower," he continued as he characteristically strode into his quarters, speaking with a low and whispering voice, "hold Infinity in the palm of your hand..."

"An eternity in an hour," they ended in unison.

"You surprise me all the time," she half-whispered.

"I told you I changed 25 years ago," he answered. He had felt the need to get her close, but the actual closeness surprised him and made him coward. He cleared his throat. "I will be sleeping on the couch and you will take the bed," he motioned her to follow him, and his movements turned her cold again. She wanted to tell him about it, but the feeling of going into a deeper conversation worried her and she said nothing, but merely followed him silently.

"There is the kitchen," he showed the kitchen, which wasn't small, but neither big. "Library," he watched her expression, which was nothing even though there were so many books. "Which you are free to use," he added, pushing another of his personal limits away in wish of receiving just a small smile of glee. His wish was granted, but only momentarily and then she turned to him and wrinkled her nose displeased.

"I am not allowed to read upsetting books," she explained, sounding slightly annoyed. He raised an eyebrow in wonder.

"Only that shelf contains books of... deeper darkness," with that he meant violating contents as in Dark Arts books, which you were unable to buy at regular shops.

"No," she gave him a half smile, "only books I can read are books with content that has no possibility of being misinterpreted. Which leaves me with silly fairytale books," she gave an unlady-like snort and Severus looked at her quizzily. "I'm having twins and my doctor told me that if one of them gets upset it might hurt the other. I have to stay calm and stay out of upsetting situations and shouldn't read improper things or look at improper pictures..." she explained, "If I get upset they can feel it and then they'll get upset too," he nodded fractionally in understanding and then he smirked at her.

"Must be painful for you," he commented in a light tease, half-holding onto his usual attitude, but still making sure she knew it was tease.

"Unfortunately," she agreed bored, "but what won't one do for love," she shrugged and Severus felt momentarily stunned. Hermione searched his eyes in confusion, and again he cleared his throat as if to leave it behind and get on. He showed her the bathroom, and where she could put her things, and then he showed her the bedroom, which Hermione found surprisingly amazing, though she tried to hide it the best she could.

"Had you expected to see chains?" He could see that she seemed surprised, and she blushed lightly.

"Yes, and bats," she informed in tease and he chuckled.

"Now," he said, turning serious again, "your possessions were ruined, but Dumbledore managed to repair most of it. It's over there in the trunk," he pointed towards a trunk and Hermione nodded. "The left side of the cabinet in the bathroom is yours to use, and there will be fresh towels in the bathroom too. And you can use the left closet-," he nudged towards a closet in the bedroom, "-if you have anything that needs to be hung of clothes, otherwise you use the chest of drawers over there," he nudged towards a chest of drawers and again she nodded. They stood in an odd silence.

"I will leave you to get... acquainted," he said and turned to leave. Hermione closed the bedroom door after him, and turned her attention to her new room. She found her shrunken trunk and turned it to its regular size, after which she decided to do things the muggle way. She opened the chest and was surprised to see nothing in the drawers. She supposed Dumbledore had given Severus some things for her needs. She filled it quickly, and was somehow surprised over how little space she occupied. Only a few dresses were hung in the closet, next to the many black robes of Severus. Her eyes fell upon the drawers connected to the closet, and suspected he had his things in there. Then her eyes fell upon some robes, which she was quite sure she had never seen Severus wear. They were smooth and made if black satin and silk. Prestigious and royal almost, and she supposed it was the clothes he wore at special occasions.

She turned her attention at the trunk with the things from her room at the Leaky Cauldron. There were some clothes, some toiletries, a few female things, and then a shrunken rocking chair, her only belonging of objects. She smiled lovingly as she turned it to its regular size and moved it over to the window, after which she laid her favourite pillow on it, making in comfy to sit in.

She quietly slipped out of the bedroom with her toiletries and then headed for the bathroom. She wondered where Severus was, since he didn't seem to be in the sitting room, which contained a table with four chairs, though she hardly doubted he used the three other chairs, a small coffee table surrounded by couches and chair, and a few other things, making it really nice. She knocked on the bathroom door, and received no response. She supposed he wasn't in there, so she entered. She was happy that it was empty; she'd rather not surprise him in the middle of something.

She stood in the sitting room, still. There was no sound and for a moment she felt worried. He had just left without telling her and it made her feel anxious. She tried to suppress a shudder, but did not succeed. She had checked the entire quarter, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Okay, Hermione, pull yourself together," she told herself in a calm and steady voice. "He's a grown man and is very much able to take care of himself," she said again out loud, calming her babies and herself. "Besides, this is Hogwarts," she clarified. She shuddered visibly and knew that even at Hogwarts terrible things could happen. She was quite sure that he was safe, somewhere, but she knew she could not go to sleep unless she was completely sure. It annoyed her and worried her that she needed to be sure, but in this moment she did not trust many and much, and if she had to live here she needed that trust. She found one of her robes in the closet, made sure it made her look very adult and not student at all, then she made her way towards the exit, but found that it led to a corridor, which she did not remember using when getting there. She entered Severus's quarters again and then noticed another door, which she was surprised to see led to the dungeons. He had two entrances, one from the dungeons, probably charmed so that it didn't feel like walking up many stairs, and then one regular leading to a hallway. She had looked out the window and seen a view from about second floor's height, but she had supposed it was charmed, but now with the exit to the regular hallway things made sense. His quarters weren't in the dungeons, but on the second floor. She supposed he was in the dungeons, in his office, so she ventured out the dungeon exit.

She had barely walked for long before she had to pull her cloak tighter around it. It was 29th of November, so it was winter and therefore reasoned the coldness in the dungeons. Hell, even in the summer it was cold in the dungeons, since the heat wasn't really able to get down there. Also a reason to why the air sometimes seemed rather humid and thick, but after having lived in New Zealand with the unaccountable climate Hermione had learned to breathe even in the dampest places.

Green flamed torches lit up her way as she moved around, trying consciously to remember her route. Her hands went to rest on her abdomen in protection; she had always hated the dungeons. First of all the dungeons meant Severus Snape, whom had tormented her through her life at Hogwarts, not that she associated Hogwarts with him now, but it also meant Slytherins. Slytherins of all varies. Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, all those who had made fun of her, teased her cruelly and called her names. Made her life hell and upset her the best ways possible. She shuddered again, though not quite sure if it was because of the coldness or discomfort for her location in this moment. She sped up slightly, though still keeping it to a walk. She did not run in her pregnancy in fear of tripping. She knew what would happen to her if she lost her babies. But as soon as she had sped up, only in order to get to Severus as quickly as possible, Hermione was caught by a fear she hadn't felt for 7½ years. The dungeons along with its air reminded her of a time she wished to forget, especially now that she was pregnant. A time when she was chained to a wall, tortured and raped cruelly, again and again, and again...

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Bad ending, bad ending! Please review, you know it makes me so happyyyyyyy! Thank you all for reviewing my former chapters, it's so nice of you... I'd really like to hit 250 reviews soon :'( help me!


	16. dungeons and corridors

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN – dungeons and corridors**

She felt her breath disappearing and she knew she needed to get back to Severus's quarters, where she at least felt a bit safe. To where the air was normal and there were no reminders, but she had already gotten close to the potions classroom, so she forced herself to continue, despite the uncomfortable feeling, running down her spine and making her shudder again. Tears were building in her eyes, but she forced herself to continue, and once in a while looking back over her shoulder to see if anyone was there. She held her hands across her ears, trying to block out the mental screams and cries she remembered. Flashes of memories flashed across her eyes when she looked at the walls around her, so much like the walls she had been chained to, tortured by and raped by. She made a few whimpering sounds, turned was about to turn around when a dripping sound caught her ears. The sound of drops of water hitting the floor mesmerised her, and scared her.

"It's just water, Hermione," Hermione calmed herself and felt her babies move around uncomfortably. She moaned in distress and hurt and focused on the path in front of her and nothing else. She needed to get to Severus. Regardless her state Hermione reached the potions room and entered the potions room rapidly, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. Severus was startled and looked at her surprised when she opened her eyes again.

"What are you doing out?" He questioned, his brows knitted and his composure stiff.

"Don't leave before telling me," she asked harshly and sunk into a chair in front of his desk tiredly, managing to keep her tears from being shed. He raised an eyebrow in question. "I became worried and anxious," she informed tiredly.

"What's wrong?" He looked at her worried. "You didn't run into anyone when getting here, did you?" He corrected his composure, giving the impression that he'd hurry off and hex the person's buttocks if she had.

"No!" It came out as a sneer, but Hermione was too upset to be calm and nice. She shifted uneasily in the chair and avoided his penetrating gaze.

"Hermione?" He pushed lightly. "What happened?" He was watching her, and she couldn't stand it.

"Dammit, Severus!" Hermione slammed her fist onto the desk and looked up at him with watery eyes. "I-HATE-dungeons!" she informed, looking into his eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of him, or anyone, it made her feel week and stupid.

"I was not aware of this," he said apologising, keeping his composure calm and stable He walked over to her and took a seat on his table in front of her. "I shall inform you about my whereabouts and if you wish to get in touch you will use the fireplace," she knew this was subtle subject for him. "There's another exit form my rooms, leading one to the second floor in the Professors wing," Hermione nodded.

"I discovered," she spoke, falling into a whisper though she did not want to. "I just wasn't aware about this before I had gotten a good step into the dungeons," she spoke almost apologising.

"I apologise," he apologised again, "and promise you it will not happen again," Hermione stood up. "I will follow you back," he said and Hermione gave him an appreciating look.

Severus followed Hermione back to his quarters, keeping his stride down so he walked close to her, making sure she could grasp him if she needed the protection. They entered his quarters again and then moved into the bedroom, though Severus did not enter completely but stayed in the door. She could see he peeked around, but it wasn't as if anything had changed, except there was a new object inside.

His eyes fell upon the rocking chair and Severus almost smiled by the thought of Hermione sitting in it. She noticed his gaze and followed it.

"It's my only possession," she explained quietly and moved over there. She grazed the chair's curves with a finger.

"I will retreat to the dungeons, again," he spoke when the silence had filled the room again. "If you need me then you are free to use the floo to call me…" he watched as she worried her lower lip, and he remembered that she had always done that when in deep thoughts or was worried. He knew that she needed something better and faster than the floo. "I will speak with the headmaster tomorrow about getting something quicker," her eyes locked with his and he knew she was grateful.

"I am sorry for the trouble," she apologised.

"You've made apologising a habit, bad one that is," he informed her with a half smile, which she vaguely returned, "you have absolutely all right to be 110 sure of everything. Your priority is you and your babies, as it should be, so if there's the slightest thing do not hesitate to change it," he informed her essentially and Hermione nodded.

"Not my babies," she did not meet his gaze, "but OUR babies," she met his gaze and he gave a vague, insecure, smile.

"Our babies," he echoed and she saw his eyes light up. If he wasn't use to not smiling then she was quite sure he would've beamed. "I will leave you to get rested," he said and bowed lightly and then left her. He smiled, beamed, when he had closed the door behind him to the bedroom.

It was only five in the afternoon now, and since she had changed into New Zealand time then things felt as if it was way past her bedtime. She went over to the closet, where she found a nightgown to wear, and then she changed. She gave a low displeased moan as she realised that her nightgown was getting too small. Having twins made everything too small in no time! She lay down in the bed, which seemed much bigger than the normal four-posters, and Hermione came to wonder how the hell he could stand sleeping in a bed so big. Before other thoughts could make her wonder Hermione had fallen asleep.

Many believed Hermione to be an A type. She was always the first one up and she was usually the last one in bed, but in truth then Hermione was very much bad at getting up in the morning. She dreaded it, and would probably have stayed in bed if it weren't for her school and her craving for knowledge. But now there was nothing to hold her back, and Hermione slept from 5 in the afternoon to almost ten am the following morning. How the hell she had slept so long she did not know, since she had almost found it humanly impossible, but then she could feel on her body and her mind had needed it very much. She stirred in her bed for some moments, before feeling a light rumble in her stomach, reminding her that it had been some time since she had eaten. She sat up in bed and looked around, she was still at Hogwarts, not that she had suspected anything else, but it was nice with a reminder now days.

She moved out of bed and stretched a bit. Her back was sore from carrying twins, and she wondered how Mrs Weasley had managed to live it through. She moaned in tiredness and then made to go get a nice shower. She entered the bathroom and her eyes fell upon the large tub/pool, which she had had too when she had been Head Girl. This was a perfect time to use the pool, so Hermione turned on the water, along with some foam-tabs with different colours and sizes. Her babies enjoyed it; she could feel it. She leaned back and rested her head on the edge, resting and enjoying the warmness. Her breasts were heavy, but in the water they felt lighter, which was a nice change. She lay in the water, letting her mind wander. Momentarily she wondered where Severus was, but she remembered that it was Tuesday, so he was most like teaching right now.

Great Heavens, what a wonderful feeling to lie in the pool, getting cleansed and relax. Lately she had felt so stressed and tense, and this was really doing her good. But like everything that has a start has an ending, and Hermione had to get up. Her skin wrinkled from having been in the water for too long, and her stomach was growling loudly now. She really needed food.

She found a nice warm dress and then slowly left Severus's quarters, using the exit leading to the second floor. She was free to wander the castle, but no matter what she couldn't help wonder if Rudolfus had any contact with just one Hogwarts insider, student e.g.

She doubted any of the students would go after her themselves, since the media had made her look quite powerful, but you never knew.

"Hermione," Hermione jumped startled. "Sorry to startle you," Dumbledore's twinkling eyes regarded her and Hermione felt herself relax again.

"Sneaking up on me?" She smiled lightly to the headmaster, who chuckled.

"I am sorry, my dear," he gestured for her to walk with him. "Good morning, by the way," he greeted and Hermione found herself giggling lightly.

"Thank you, and good morning to you too, or early afternoon," her gaze was avoiding him and scanned the scenery, which she remembered clearly from her own days at Hogwarts. Nothing had ever changed.

"Is your new quarters to your likings?" Dumbledore queried.

"Yes," Hermione answered, ending the conversation again. "Will I be dining with people, or is it unsafe?" Hermione wondered and met the older wizard's gaze.

"I believe it is safe for you to dine with us," he responded with a cheerful smile.

"But not at lunch today," she informed, "I am actually heading for the kitchen now, since it has been a while since I've eaten. Care to join me?"

"I suppose I could need some lemon drops," the wizard murmured and they made their way to the kitchen. They talked about many things, but never about Severus or the babies. Albus Dumbledore knew it was too soon for her to talk openly about, and therefore did not push the matter.

Hermione was glad to get something to eat. She was starving and was only slightly displeased when the house-elves went to get the food for her. She wandered the corridors with Dumbledore, talking lightly and eating, and by reaching the library Dumbledore's eyes twinkled extremely, making Hermione feeling a bit annoyed.

"No one will ever say that Hermione Granger is back just because you venture in there," Dumbledore spoke quietly, regarding her quietly. "Everyone knows that Hermione Granger has changed, and just because there are still a few identical lines between you and the girl you once were then it doesn't mean she's back…"

"Everyone knows it," she agreed quietly, "I only have to convince myself, which is harder than presumed," they stopped their tracks by the entrance to the library.

"You're one of the brightest ever attending Hogwarts and no matter what happens to you, and everyone else for that matter, then there are few things that will never change completely. You will always love books, the next step for you is to accept it and go in there," they looked towards the entrance of the library, which suddenly seemed so scary. Hermione realised that he wasn't only talking about the library, but everything that had concerned her before Azkaban. "Here," he handed her what seemed like a necklace. "Severus told me about your worries," he watched as Hermione fastened the necklace.

"What do I need to do?"

"Just grasp it tight and think of Severus," Dumbledore smiled lightly as she played with it. "He has one too, so when you grasp it he can feel it and then he will use his to get to you," the headmaster explained and Hermione nodded lightly.

"Thank you…" she thanked and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"No need," he smiled again, "but here I am afraid we must part, my dearest Hermione, because I have a meeting with the Ministry," he bowed lightly towards her, "do not be afraid," and then he left, leaving Hermione by herself in front of the entrance to the library, the entrance to her past self. She gave audibly sigh and left for her rooms. No, she wasn't ready to go in there, she wasn't ready to meet her _past_.

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A/N: Thanks for reviewing, you make me keep going. Please leave a review, telling me how I'm doing.


	17. unwavering support

**A/N: Elora Nova: I have read your story, sorry I haven't reviewed it yet, I'll do it in a moment, and then I find it rather interesting. I also want to thank you for being such a loyal reviewer, you have followed my story from the start. Thanks :D Thanks goes to A Perfect Lie also, and then of course to everyone else too! THANK YOU!!!!! Here's a new chappie, hope you like it!**

**I also would like to giggle a bit of your suggestions to the necklace. You're thinking in too dangerous lanes... Or do you? Drums...**

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**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – unwavering support**

Hermione usually walked past the library, but never ventured in there. She was afraid, but also knew that there was nothing to be afraid of. But it really was as if that her entire life would be back if she ventured in there, and it scared the shit out of her. She had to do it, she knew, sooner or later. And so Hermione had entered the library, one baby step at the time. She caressed the many books in the beginning, remembered back when she read them, and a few times she stopped in front of a certain book, and hesitated to go on and pick it out. Eventually she'd move on, grazing the books as she went, until she reached the first Magic Book she had ever owned: Hogwarts: A History. In the past that book had always been her comfort. She had read it a thousand times, and now she was just staring at it. Slowly she pulled it out with a hesitant pull; the book was heavy and lay in her hands safely, ready to be opened. As she opened the book it was as if she could open all the books in the library. She was slightly hesitant at times, but as the days went Hermione managed to lose the hesitation and was now spending most of her time in there. It was nice and quiet and many of the books had proper content, so her babies needn't worry.

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**(3rd of December)** Hermione's head jerked up from the pillow by the sound of a loud thunder. She moaned lightly as she felt her babies stir, they had awoken too. She lay quietly for some minutes, trying to ignore it and go back to sleep, but she knew that there would be no sleep for her tonight, unless… 

The mere thought was making her laugh, though not out loud. Her babies kicked again lightly.

"Okay, blame it on the babies, 'Mione," she whispered and got out of bed. She stopped when she was out of bed. This would mean that she would have to enter the sitting room, where Severus was sleeping. She had never seen him sleep, but somehow always believed that he never did sleep actually. She blamed those thoughts from having been messed up by the students who called Severus a vampire. "Can't believe I'm doing this," she said again and shook her head. Her voice was not in disbelief, it was in deep need and wish for protection. She wondered how he's react when someone just came jumped into the bed with him, he'd probably hex her. She began worrying her lower lip. What if he did hex her? Unintentionally. She found her duvet and wrapped herself up in it and then made her way towards the exit.

A flash of lightening lit up her room, even though the curtains were drawn, and then it was followed by a close and loud thunderclap. She shuddered annoyed and uncomfortably, before she leaned against the door, listening. She hadn't really thought of hearing anything special, so she slowly opened the door, as to not making any noise. Hermione felt her heart stop, almost, as she entered the sitting room. It was beautiful.

Candles aplenty floated in the empty air, sending a vague light out into the room and created a nice and warm atmosphere. Severus was sitting in the couch, which he to the nightly occasion had conjured into a bed, and was reading a book, though as soon as she had entered he had looked up. She didn't really notice him looking at her, since she was almost too busy checking out the nice sitting room in the not-too-silent night. Another crash thundered outside and Hermione turned her attention rapidly to the man with the book, watching her silently.

"Hermione?" He greeted quietly and surprised, making Hermione raise an eyebrow. This scene was just too odd to let pass just because of a thunder. Really, Hermione emerging from his bedroom… She shook her head mentally and decided she really shouldn't dwell on it too much.

She did not smile, nor did she look mad or sad, Severus noted. More like expressionless. "Is there anything wrong?" His eyes searched hers, and she gave him a light smile.

"Thunder, babies and me hates it," she revealed with a wry grin and made her way slowly towards his bed. He watched her every step, and she walked slow so he could tell her to stop if he felt too uncomfortable, but he never said stop. But then again, he too looked expressionless with unreadable eyes, so Hermione wasn't quite sure what he was thinking. Perhaps he was nervous? She took a seat on the edge of the bed, still not taking her eyes away from his, and then she smiled and tried to snatch his pillow, which did not succeed since he was leaning against it.

"Hermione the pillow snatcher," she commented to break the ice. "Can I…" she looked into his eyes, worrying her lower lip again.

"Um… yes," he said uncharacteristically and Hermione beamed and moved to lie comfortable. She leaned up against the bed like he did too, knowing that she wasn't ready to sleep just yet.

"Did you have trouble sleeping too?" She wondered aloud.

"It is quite noisy," he responded and didn't seem to be afraid of it like she was.

"What are you reading, if you do not mind me asking?" She questioned quietly, and peeked over at the book.

"Adrasthea and a hundred beasts," he informed and Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Fantasy," she remarked, "how very… not you," she teased lightly and moved to get down. He gave her a smirk. She laid watching him to a while as he read, but eventually he laid the book aside and Hermione's dark brown eyes watched as he tucked himself. "Thank you," she whispered and moved a bit in the bed to kiss his cheek. She noticed a light red staining his cheeks lightly, and couldn't help blushing lightly herself.

"You're… welcome," he said, forgetting about his personal space being invaded. It felt nice and comfortable to be two in the bed, somehow right. Perhaps it had something to do with that the bed was meant for two, so naturally it would feel right. So many thoughts swirled in his mind, and were all ruined in a flash of a second as Hermione snuggled closer to his body in spoon; she had turned her back to him and lay with her back into his chest. He looked a bit odd into her hair for a second, and then smiled quietly and slipped his arms around her in protection, and felt her calm. Her hands made their way to his arms, where she rested them, ready to keep them there in place in case he should move them. But in this moment Severus had nothing in mind having them there to the end of his days. Her hair smelt like flowers he noted, not even registering the loud crash of a thunder that erupted outside. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

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"Where're you going?" Hermione questioned with a muffled yawn when she felt Severus move. 

"It is morning and I have classes to attend," he said with an unintentional purr in her ear, making her shudder with delight.

"Just hurry back," she fell asleep again, but Severus knew what he had heard, and he smiled very visibly. Someone waited for him in bed, someone wanted to be with him.

"I promise I will," he promised, though she was asleep.

When Hermione woke again it wasn't more than ten am. She sat up and let out a disturbed moan. She looked around and then smiled when she noticed where she had slept. She had felt safe tonight, and it had been good. She got out of bed, transformed the bed into a couch again, and decided to head to the library after a nice shower. She really should get up in morning, because she needed breakfast. She was spending her meals with the rest of the school. The first time she was to eat with the rest of the school had only been the day after she had arrived. First she did not know where to sit, since McGonagall, or Minerva as she wished to be called, wanted to chat with her, but somehow she also wanted to stay with Severus, since he had become her rock. Eventually she sat with Minerva.

The looks she had gotten the first time she had eaten with the school had been incredible. People gaped when Dumbledore told that she would be living at Hogwarts and they should be nice, and then people had looked surprised when the rumour of where she lived in the castle. Not many, none at all actually, understood how she had 'ended up' with _Snape_ –bat of the dungeons, and various of other names -, but nobody luckily did question it.

"Afternoon," Hermione greeted when it was lunch. She had spent her day visiting the kitchen quickly and then the library. She had yet to venture outside, but she wasn't ready for the space and insecurity. She took a seat next to Minerva this afternoon, but not without meeting Severus's gaze and smiling to him safely.

Afterwards Hermione went to the library again, finding her usual study place and indulged in a book she had been reading in lately. A low _puff_ sounded almost soundlessly, and a red feather landed on her book. She grasped it calmly and turned it between her fingers. It was Fawkes' feather, meaning Dumbledore whished to talk with her. She got up, hoping with all her might that it wasn't anything disturbing. She left the book on its rightful place and then slowly, hands on belly in protection, she made her way to Dumbledore's office.

"Sugary butterflies," Hermione spoke and watched as the entrance was revealed. A sudden thought occurred her. Was there something called sugary butterflies? It was most likely candy, and she wondered if it existed. Somehow it sounded tasty and the mere thought made her mouth water. She pursed her lips lightly and then wrinkled her nose in desire. She supposed she could always ask the headmaster. The door was opened before she reached it and Hermione was waved inside. The room was already filled with people, and Hermione felt the uncomfortable feeling of insecurity sneak up at her, though she still couldn't let the thought about sugary butterflies go. Damn hormones made her think about inappropriate things! She dammed, and then took a seat as suggested. Severus was sitting near her and she instinctively grasped some of his robes. His hand found hers and squeezed in lightly, leaving them to hold hands.

"Hermione," Dumbledore greeted happily and took a seat, but not without noticing Hermione's firm gasp in Severus's hand. He knew he was her unwavering support and that she needed him more than she needed anyone else. They all knew.

"Headmaster," she greeted.

"Well, to the point," he sat down and pushed a plate with lemon drops towards her. She raised an eyebrow, but gave a smile and she snatched one anyway. She could feel Severus's thumb stroke her hand lightly, making her relax, and she returned the favour with light strokes of her fingers the best she could over his hand too. "Rudolfus has been spotted near Hogsmaede. It is common knowledge that you're here at Hogwarts, so he will try and get here," the headmaster paused. "However, we're not willing to just wait for him," Hermione looked at him thankfully and he smiled. "We're setting up bait. Tonks will be taking your looks and then a spell to make her look pregnant," Hermione nodded, "together with Severus, not the real Severus," he secured as Hermione had clasped Severus's hand tighter, making him do a pained face. Dumbledore chuckled. "But we will have one under Poly Juice," he informed, "and they'll will take a walk, and hopefully Rudolfus will attack," Hermione nodded again in understanding. "We will have the couple under surveillance…" Hermione watched as Tonks trying to turn into Hermione. Then a spell and she looked pregnant. Tonks was a great Auror, but Hermione couldn't help wondering if anything went wrong. Tonks was a mother after all, with two children with Remus. She hoped dearly that nothing would go wrong.

"How do you know he will attack?" Hermione asked worried, "Rudolfus is not a foolish man…"

"He attacked The Leaky Cauldron rather mindlessly, so we hope that he is so angry that his common sense is blinded," a female said, who stood by the window. Hermione nodded vaguely and stroked her abdomen with light caresses, turning oblivious to her surroundings.

"Now, Hermione, Severus will take you to your quarters, where I think you should stay, along with Severus, until we have caught him…" Hermione nodded and stood along with Severus.

"Thank you, and good day, to you all," Hermione said and then she followed with Severus out of the office. They were still holding hands, neither willing to let go. They entered _their _quarters and then Severus excused himself for two seconds, as he wanted to get his work from his office. He used the floo and two seconds later he was back. He took a seat at the _dinner _table in the sitting room, and Hermione took a seat in the couch with a book. Eventually peace took over and they just sat enjoying the silence of each other's company.

"Unbelievable!" Severus growled displeased, breaking the silence, and Hermione looked up from her book.

"What's unbelievable, Severus?" She questioned and he looked at her shortly. It was rare that she actually called him by his name, so it sounded slightly odd.

"These _dunderheads_," he informed and gestured defeated towards the papers in front of him. Hermione laughed softly and went over to take a seat next to him. Gradually Hermione became involved in the potions essays. She corrected a few as she helped Severus and together they laughed cruelly over the things the _children_ wrote down. Rudolfus and the problems the world had were far away from them as they sat in _their_ quarters, laughing and correcting the essays. Afterwards they talked about the students in potions, then the students in general, then further towards Harry, Ron, and Hermione's schooldays.

"You never stole anything from me?" Severus purred quietly with a raised eyebrow. "I think I remember a Poly Juice incident…"

"You know about that?" Hermione questioned almost horrified, which earned an honest and loud laugh from Severus.

"Really, Hermione, all the Professors knew what you had done, the problem was just to prove it exactly… Not to mention that the headmaster was supporting all of your schemes and wanted you to do what you wanted," he smirked at her still horrified expression.

"Oh well," she shrugged finally. "We did manage to brew it correctly and Harry and Ron succeeded in their transformations. I would've too if I hadn't used a cat's hair instead," she wrinkled her nose by the sour memory.

"Yes," he muttered quietly and then their conversation was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Severus strode over, hand on wand, and opened the door.

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Please review!**


	18. everything she does is magic

**A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! Keep up the good work! I know this ends with a really annoying cliffe again, and I have been scolded for keeping the cliffies up, but I think it is fairly easy to guess where Sevvii is going in the end of this chapter, otherwise, to excuse my cliffie, I will give you a hint: headheads. REVIEW and ENJOY!****

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**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – everything she does is magic**

"Severus," the voice of Dumbledore greeted and Hermione watched as Severus stepped aside to let the older wizard inside. Hermione stood, anxious and tense for what the headmaster might say. Severus came over and Hermione grasped his hand support, which she got right away.

"Get to the point, Albus," Severus asked quickly.

"We have caught him," Albus said and Hermione visibly calmed and then found she herself leaning into Severus's embrace for a hug. The old wizard's eyes were glittering by the sight, but said nothing.

"Thank you, Professor, thank you so much," Hermione said almost breathless and close to tears.

"You're welcome, Hermione. And do call me Albus," he asked again and Hermione nodded, not trusting her voice. The older wizard could see it was time for him to leave, so he made his way to the exit. "Good day, both of you," he said and then closed the door after him. The minute he had left Hermione burst into tears, and Severus looked at her confused. It was as if all her worries just came down on her now. All the time she had wanted ice cream, but never had any, all the times she had felt frustrated, but had no one to yell at, it was all coming back.

"Hermione, are you alright?" He asked anxiously.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?" She yelled angrily and cried before burying herself in Severus. "I am just so scared about losing them!" She cried and Severus followed her over to the couch, where they sat. His hands were around her waist for comfort and small hushing sounds left his lips, trying earnest to help the sweet woman in his embrace. "I am so afraid," she cried again.

"There's nothing to be afraid of anymore," he whispered, knowing that it wasn't all true, but it would be better than telling her that there was a million supporters out there, Death Eaters as regular purebloods, who wanted to kill her.

"Yes there is!" She cried harder and Severus felt panic arise in him. "I am scared of giving birth, losing you, what if they hate me? What if my own children don't like me?" She cried uncontrollably. "They probably won't like me!"

"You're scared of losing me?" He whispered surprised. She had spoken rapidly, but he had heard it.

"Ye-s!" She hiccupped into his chest, and then words were lost in a round of uncontrollable crying.

"Don't worry, Hermione, nothing will happen to me or your babies, I promise. I'll be here with you…" he whispered truthfully. "I- I love you," second time he had told her. The first time she had refused him and now he only sat waiting for her to stop crying and leave him again. Her aching cries stopped and she looked up at him with teary eyes.

"You do?" She asked quietly, trying to stop herself from crying, but with no avail.

"I've told you before," he tried to move away, but she prevented it. She leaned forwards and met his lips in a kiss.

"I think I love you too," she revealed quietly, but truthfully. She leaned into his embrace again and gave a low sigh, though a happy one, and she felt his arms sneak around her body and hold her close. She was still sobbing, and for a long time she just sat crying in his embrace, being rocking back and forth by Severus.

Eventually Hermione moved away and regained herself. Severus felt a bit disappointed by her leaving his embrace, but he said nothing.

"Wait here," he stood and vaguely hoped she'd throw her arms around him in passion and love, but nothing happened and Severus strode over to the exit.

"Where are you going?" Her soft voice questioned and Severus turned towards the fragile woman sitting in the couch. Her eyes red and puffy from having cried and she had wrapped her arms around herself in protection.

"A secret, for now," he said and gave her a vague smile and disappeared through the door. He knew this was for the best and he knew she'd be grateful, even if she didn't express it at first. He'd give everything for her to go through a smooth pregnancy, and since she had left and kept him out of the first part he sort of felt that this was something he could do to prove himself. He just hoped she didn't get too upset. After all, things were going rather fast, even for him to like. He smiled to the empty corridors as he stalked them on his way to the exit of Hogwarts. It is so odd that sometimes the things we'd rather avoid are the things that we end up with in the end. He remembered all too clearly things:

Severus Snape had just taken a seat in the large kitchen of Grimauld's Place no. 13.

This meeting was not going to be good, and he knew that it was his informations that would ruin it. It was the summer of 1997 and the Terrible Trio had just left Hogwarts. He had looked forward to that day, but now he knew that he wouldn't be rid of them since they were to enter the Order. Hermione Granger was the only one missing of the Terrible Three. Harry-pain-in-the-arse-Potter and his sidekick Weasley were sitting some chairs away, luckily, with Remus and Tonks. It was only two weeks into the summer vacation and the first things were that Hermione and her family needed to be tracked down. Potter and Weasley told that they hadn't gotten response from Hermione, and what Severus had to tell would make things worse. He had heard from the Dark Lord that Hermione Granger had been captured. Rumours about her killing her own parents, WILLINGLY, had spread through the Death Eater society, but Severus did not believe them. He knew she would never kill anyone unless she was under a curse, stubborn Gryffindor Lioness.

However, he couldn't help but to be worried. He knew the chit had great powers and that she was clever too, but how much could she take before cracking and revealing informations to the Dark Lord.

He had managed to surprise Potter and Weasley, and everyone else, about this new rumour, but Potter managed to surprise Severus back equally, but telling that it wasn't her but people under Poly Juice, he did not know who. Severus had sneered and been angry for Harry not staying out of the Dark Lord's mind, but he also felt relieved that this had been discovered. It brought hope to her at least.

Hermione Granger was still missing, but then it was told that the Ministry had found a way to break through the magical barricades of the Riddle Mansion. Before the Order had managed to follow it up the Ministry had entered the Mansion and found Hermione Granger, living like a queen. The Dark Lord had managed to make it look like she lived a good life, and there was no proof of otherwise.

Mid August, around a week after Hermione Granger had been found and then captured and put into Azkaban, the Last War broke out and Heaven and Hell collided along with White and Black, Good and Bad, Light and Dark. Everyone showed his or her true colour.

Harry Potter won over the Dark Lord and left was all his followers. It had been impossible for the Order to find proof of Hermione's innocence, only Harry Potter's word, which wouldn't do much in such great Death Eater trials. The only thing that mattered in such trials was visible evidence, and they had none to clear Hermione.

Truth to be told, then he had never tried anything like it. It was horrible to see the bright young girl, who had lit up his classes in an annoying way, enter with four Azkaban guards. She had been hysterical and angry, and she had been found guilty. Severus had hid his face behind his hands. Such brilliance wasted. She was given 16 years.

With the Order he tried to find proof, just something to point out that she was innocent, but they found nothing! Visitors weren't allowed so they had no contact with her. No one knew how she was doing, only what they heard from the Prophet, when the Minister had visited. They relied on the Prophet, because they needed to see if her name was in the paper. They hoped that her name wasn't mentioned in the Prophet, because when the Prophet wrote about the Death Eaters in Azkaban then it was only to enlighten the world of who had _finally _gone insane because of the pressure of the Azkaban guards. Every time he looked in the paper he felt relieved that she at least was hanging on to life, but somehow he, as the rest of the Order, felt a bit gloom not to hear anything about her.

Eventually the Minister Fudge was replaced. The only reason he had been kept as Minister was the he had promised to clean the world from Death Eaters, which was what people wanted. He had kept his promise true, and it had taken him seven years. After that he was replaced with a new Minister, whom Albus Dumbledore immediately made a deal with him. It was the only thing they could do to get her out of Azkaban; that would be sufficient for now.

She looked horrible. Her bushy hair wasn't bushy, but tangled and messed up and long. Her skin was dirty and she looked edgy. She had stood by her innocence, but nothing had helped. She had looked towards the Order, but each and one of them had looked away in shame of themselves.

Bella had then told the truth and Hermione had fainted, and then the new Minister had cleared her.

She was taken to Hogwarts.

Faith seemed to be against him all the time. He was told to watch over her and he had ended by being seduced by her. She had left him and he had been informed about her pregnancy. She had gotten an abortion, or so he had believed, and then left. He had found himself in love with her. The girl who had attended his class and had raised her hand to every question, was no longer a girl, but a woman. A woman whom his affections were pointed towards. And it hadn't just been a light infatuation. When he had 'watched over her' he had fallen in love. Not lightly, but strongly. His heart pounded when he thought of her, though he had never wanted to tell it out loud, and he was intrigued by everything thing she did. Everything she did was magic. Even now when she looked at him his heart skipped and his knees softened. He hated to think himself as stupid hormone filled teenage boy, but truth to be told then he had gotten soft, and everyone found out when he had returned from St. Mungos. He was in love and it was head over heels, but she had refused him – at first.

Even now, as he had just left Hermione in his – no, their – quarters, Severus' heart was still pounding slightly fast. He had held her tight and she had cried. He had never felt so blessed in his entire life. This woman, the mother to his babies, was letting him in, though only a bit, but she had changed gradually for him. Now he had left her and was going to show who he really was. He loved her so much and he'd do anything for her. Hence the reason to why he was now leaving the grounds of Hogwarts and Disapperated. He had a special surprise for her and he only hoped she wouldn't pull away, but let him help her the best he could.

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Please review, and sorry for the light cliffie, but in the top there's a hint of his goings, so read that if you're curious... Hehe... REVIEW!**


	19. giving you all my love

**CHAPTER NINETEEN – giving you all my love**

(Still Friday the 3rd of December)

He appeared on a stone road around hundred metres from his destination. It was the beginning of December so the air was rather cold, and it was snowing lightly. He tugged his black robes around him closer and then made his way towards his final destination.

He wondered how Hermione was going to react. Somehow he didn't want to upset her, but let her have things her way all the way through, but on the other hand then he wanted to help her and show his worth. He cursed himself for being weak. Love always made a fool out of people, and as much as he hated to admit it, then it had certainly made a fool out of him too. He could barely answer her when she questioned something. His answers were dim and short and when she had kissed his cheek he had BLUSHED! Oh how embarrassing!

He reached the house of his destination and knocked on the door hesitatively. He had wondered so much about Hermione's reaction, but what about-

"Well hello there, Professor!" A female voice screeched and broke his train of thoughts. Truth to be told then he had never really liked the family. He didn't want to sound stuck up, but they had gotten way too many children than they could afford.

"Mrs Weasley," Severus greeted darkly and the woman let out a girlish laugh. Somehow she had always been nice to him no matter how he had acted. He wondered why.

"Call me Molly, dear," she asked and gestured him inside.

"Molly," Severus echoed. "Right," he decided to get to the point, but when he turned towards Molly Weasley and was about to speak, he found that she was looking oddly at him.

"I know why you're here," she revealed and Severus quirked an eyebrow. "I expected you to contact me at some point," she smiled safely, "and I have had lot of children. I will do it…"

"Do what?" Severus questioned dimly.

"Follow you to Hogwarts and talk with Hermione of course," she bustled around in the kitchen and then found some cookies. He had never found any of the Weasley's tolerable, only the young Ginny Weasley. The others were stupid and their talents were usually lost because they always chose a line of work, which didn't suit them at all. Only the Weasley twins, which he disliked rather much, had chosen a line of work, which truthfully suited them throughout, well the youngest child, Ginny, had chosen a good work too. But the rest had ruined their potentials on stupid educations. But then again, this wasn't a Weasley-syndrome! This was what all the students at Hogwarts did – with few exceptions.

"Right, yes," he nodded, "that was my wish…" Molly turned towards him when she had filled small bag with brownies.

"You really love her, don't you?" God he hated such sentimental moments, but he nonetheless nodded. "I haven't seen her since she was put into Azkaban," he hoped she wouldn't start crying; he had always been bad at handling crying females. But eventually the woman gave a low sigh and then smiled greatly. "We should go," they moved outside and agreed to meet at the Hogwarts gates.

They met at the Hogwarts gates as agreed and then they followed through light snow towards the great castle, which in the winter snow looked fearsome and brooding.

"I will show you to my quarters, where Hermione is, and then I will be going to dinner and leave you be. I will naturally send some house elves to you with food before going to dinner," he explained and Molly Weasley nodded.

Hermione had been sitting in the couch for some time, before finally pulling herself together and do something constructive with her time. Severus had left and she wondered where he had gone. She felt it unnerving that he had left without telling her where, because she was still rather edgy and distrustful of her surroundings. Not even a damn book could keep her worries down! He had been gone for too long, and Hermione decided she should go tell the headmaster. What if Severus had left for a Death Eater revel and not told her in fear of upsetting her? Her mind kicked in and she remembered that there were no Death Eater revels anymore. Voldemort was dead. She sunk into her rocking chair, which Severus had asked her to move into the sitting room. He liked to watch her as she rocked back and forth in it, she knew. It also calmed her more to do it in his presence than in her bedroom. A small smile settled on her lips, and she wondered when the next thunder would come. She hadn't slept in same bed as Severus since the thunder, and she really couldn't find an excuse to go into him again. She wanted to, but her famous Gryffindor courage had failed her and not even blaming the twins for her wish to sleep in the same bed as Severus could change it. Dammit. She looked up with worried and expected eyes when there was a soft movement by the door, but Hermione was surprised to see Mrs Weasley along with Severus.

"Severus?" Hermione questioned and Severus strode over to her, leaving Mrs Weasley standing alone and looking around curiously.

"Hermione, please do not get upset," he whispered in her ear, and Hermione realised what he had done.

"Oh Severus!" Hermione moaned lightly and wrapped her arms around him. "You're amazing," she released him, but let her hands cup his face as their eyes locked and their foreheads rested against each other's. Slowly, though with a light shiver, she brushed her lips against his and felt him respond lightly.

"You're welcome," he whispered and they released each other. "I will leave you to each other. Dinner will be brought here in a matter of moments," he bowed to the two ladies and left. She could feel her cheeks reddening lightly by the tenderness she had just showed in front of Mrs Weasley, and she clearly avoided eye contact.

"Hermione," Mrs Weasley spoke and moved over to the couch. "Severus asked me… if you don't want to…"

"No, no," Hermione assured. "He was right, I mean… you must understand that I am really bad at connecting and I need to be forced into things lately," she gave a weak smile in the direction of Mrs Weasley.

"So tell me," began Mrs Weasley, "baby names?" And so the two women began chattering lightly about baby names. Hermione didn't have so many names in mind, and revealed that she had wanted to include Severus in things, but didn't know where to start. Then gradually they moved on from baby names towards preparing birth and giving birth. Hermione told all about her worries and Mrs Weasley relaxed her and made sure Hermione knew possibly every little detail. When Mrs Weasley questioned of where the babies should live Hermione suddenly flushed and informed, ashamed, that she hadn't gotten that far. She wasn't supposed to live with Severus, only throughout the time of Rudolfus being a danger. In the end Mrs Weasley had managed to give Hermione a good amount of self-esteem, which would help her when talking with Severus.

Severus returned two hours later, and Hermione suspected he had been with Dumbledore or grading papers in his office to give them time. Mrs Weasley and Hermione wished each other goodbye, and then Severus followed Mrs Weasley to the exit, though Mrs Weasley insisted that she was quite competent of finding the exit herself, and that Severus should go talk with Hermione.

"Hermione…?" Hermione was shivering greatly, and Severus noticed it.

"Severus," Hermione started out and tried to suppress her anxiety. "I am such a bad mother already," she suddenly exclaimed, tears building in her eyes, but she brushed them away, and Severus gave her a horrified look and curious at the same time.

"What makes you say that?"

"I am almost 7 months along and I haven't prepared a damn thing!" She suddenly burst angrily. Mrs Weasley, Molly, had warned him, just before she left, that Hermione might get a bit angry.

"What is there to plan?" Obviously a lot because the look she gave him gave the impression that he needed to read some books about babies and not just the pregnancy! Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes again, and she buried her head in her hands. Severus moved closer to comfort her and held her tight, while questioning what she wanted him to do.

"Severus, what do you want them to be called?" Hermione looked up at him with teary eyes and Severus suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Call them?" He hadn't thought about that. "Are they boys or girls?" Hermione gave him a genuine smile.

"At St Mungos I found out the one of them is a boy, and I am quite sure that the other is a girl… call it a mother intuition…" she smiled lightly. "Oh no! What if I'm wrong?" She buried herself in his chest again and cried while he stroked her lightly.

"Of course you're right," he whispered. "What do you want to call them?"

"I was thinking that we could find the names together…" she whispered between sobs. "I like the name Isis and Alexander, but I also like the names Luna, Victoria, Fiona, and Mabel. And boys' names: Nathan, Tristan and Zack," she informed upon memorising what names she had discussed with Mrs Weasley. Severus wrinkled his forehead in thought.

"Can you call a baby Mabel?" He wondered and Hermione looked at him.

"I don't know… I read about it somewhere, but I can't remember where… Maybe not. Maybe I will be a terrible mother and call my child something stupid!" She squealed sorrowful and started crying again, and Severus chuckled lightly while Hermione buried herself in his embrace again.

"I have told you before and I will gladly tell it again: you'll be a great mother," he kissed her forehead. "I like your girl names and I like the name Alexander…"

"Then let's call the boy Alexander," she looked at him, "don't you have any names?" Her brown eyes looked at him innocently.

"You've already told the pretty ones," he whispered and slowly brushed his lips against hers. It was close and it was nice.

"Severus!" She moaned, "come on, there had to be some names you like!" She wrinkled her nose and let him brush away her tears.

"I like the name Hermione," he whispered huskily and Hermione sob-giggled and leaned into his embrace and relaxed. "Fiona or Isis," he eventually said. "I like the name Victoria, but only to a small child. Wouldn't suit her when she's older…" he smiled lightly by the thought of children. "Artemis, Alexander, and… Damon…" he finished.

"They're pretty too…" Hermione revealed.

"Can't we just call them all the names?" Severus asked and received a light pat in warning for him to pull himself together. "Okay," he said and moved slightly in his seat, but not much since Hermione was leaning up against him. "Fiona and Alexander or Isis and Artemis…"

"Yes, those names are good," Hermione agreed thoughtfully and leaned her head back as much as she could so she could see Severus's face. He looked down at her with his crooked nose and then leaned down and kissed her lightly. Thousands of butterflies were released inside of her and she felt like blowing up with excitement. She smiled to him and corrected her position again. "Will I be living with you with the babies?" Hermione asked with an almost mute voice.

"I love you, Hermione," Severus informed, "and I would be more than honoured to spend rest of eternity with you…" the last came out rather hoarse, but Hermione heard it and her body stiffened. She moved to sit up.

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**Thank you all for reviewing! Keep up the good work, you make me so happy! Also, take the time to look at my story: Nanny Mione, which has 70 reviews and is only on its 3rd chap (4th, just updated)**


	20. cradle, cradle, baby’s rattle

**Ravyn10: I am horrified of what might've happened to you. If you ever need a chat or someone to tell things, who won't judge you, then my mail is you're free to write if you need it. This story will continue for enother eight chapters, but Hermione will get back to anormal life, and I hope you'll be able to get the same. Congrtulations with your pregnancy, keep me updating about them maybe being twins! **

**To everyone else: Thanks for reviwing, you guys are amazing. Swung by my story Nanny Mione, it has already 120 reviews and it's only on its fifth chapter! :D**

**CHAPTER TWENTY – cradle, cradle, baby's rattle**

"_I love you, Hermione," Severus informed, "and I would be more than honoured to spend rest of eternity with you…" the last came out rather hoarse, but Hermione heard it and her body stiffened. She moved to sit up._

"What?" Hermione looked at him surprised.

"Nothing," he mumbled and tried to move away.

"Do you mean it?" Severus stopped his tracks and looked at her perplexed. He had honestly not thought things would get to this.

"What?" His turn to look and sound stupid.

"Nothing," she echoed his previous words stupidly. Why would he ask her to marry him? She shook herself out of her hopeless reverie, and was surprised to see Severus sitting in front of her, on one knee. She had never seen him nervous, well never nervous in such situations as intimate at this one at least.

"I would like to spend eternity with you," he pulled out a small square box and handed it to her. He had carried it since he had found her in New Zealand. She opened it and he saw as she almost gaped. She handed the box back to him, and he looked at her confused.

"Put it on me," she urged with a smile and he broke into a genuine smile. She wasn't going to say no.

"It belonged to my mother," he informed and put on the simple ring. It was two silver lines twisted in between one another, with small orbs of diamonds lying in the small crack between the two lines as they met. He had barely spoken the words before Hermione pulled him into a demanding kiss and then a hug.

"She had good taste," Hermione whispered quietly in his ear and then felt as his arms twisted around her. "I would love to marry you," she spoke more to herself than him. It sounded odd and she knew she had to get used to it before the actual wedding. Oh wedding! Now she had more things to worry about!

"Now don't start to worry about the wedding," he warned softly and Hermione blushed.

"It's just… I mean… When I was young…" she made a disgusted face, making Severus chuckle, "I always imagined that I would stay a virgin until my wedding night," her expression became blank and she moved a bit away. "Things didn't go that way at all, and I'm even pregnant before being married!" She exclaimed and then tears ran down her cheeks. Severus wasn't sure of why she was crying. Was it because of the hormones or the things that had happened? Perhaps it was a mix, which really freaked him out.

"Then perhaps we should get married tomorrow?" He raised an eyebrow and settled in the couch with her again.

"There's too much to do…" she cried into his chest and he kissed the top of her head.

"Really, Hermione, you're not _Lavender _or _Ginny_," on first names with Harry and Ron's wives Hermione noted. Surprising.

"You're right," Hermione stood determined. "It can't be _that_ difficult to plan a wedding, can it?" She brushed her tears away.

"Probably not…" Severus shrugged. "Never done it…"

"Severus!" Hermione looked at him alarmed. "We must plan our wedding! Come on!" Hermione became overly enthusiastic and found some quill, ink, and parchment before settling in the couch with Severus again. He was surprised over how fast her mood changed.

"We can do it in the winter vacation," he suggested and Hermione nodded, beaming. Together they sat writing a guest-list, talked about how things should look like, where it should be, and what to eat. To Severus a wedding was something special. It was shameful to be divorced and people rarely got divorced anyway. Most stuck together through it all. He truthfully couldn't wait to be there for Hermione through thick and thin. He loved her and he wouldn't want anything else in the world than to be her husband.

To Hermione a wedding was nice. She trusted its bounds and she loved Severus with all her heart, though she rarely showed it. With a wedding came the obvious wedding night, which meant sex. Obviously they couldn't have sex, but they you could sorta say that they already had had their wedding night, when they were drunk, but once she had given birth they might have to have sex. Not that she minded, but she was rather nervous. What if he didn't like what he saw? So many worries and Hermione felt like crying again. Severus noticed her worried expression and leaned closer to her.

"What is wrong?" He whispered in her ear.

"There's just so many things," she informed quietly and tears slipped down her cheeks in frustration. "What if something happens? I will probably be ugly! I am so ugly and fat!" She screeched and tried to move away, but Severus prevented her.

"You're not ugly and we'll take one day at the time," he promised and kissed her tears away. Eventually they went back to talking about their soon-to-be-born-children and what do and buy, which made Hermione cry a little more due all the things they needed. Severus promised he'd talk with Albus Dumbledore about things the following morning, and then finally both went to rest, this time they slept together in the bedroom, under the same duvet. Hermione crumbled closer to Severus's body, which Severus had a hard time controlling. He had come to wonder if she might not like his body, or if she might be scared of him somehow. He knew it was a ridicules thought, but he couldn't help wondering anyway.

Pressing a wedding into Hermione's schedule was something rather difficult. Not that she had a lot to do, it was just that she was very much pregnant and she had a lot to think about before giving birth. She also found her life rather stressing, because she was not very good at talking with people besides Severus, and a few times Minerva and the headmaster, but besides those then she was completely lost. Draco was Severus's godchild, which would mean that Hermione would have to talk with Draco at some point, but the mere thought of talking with her made her feel like crying.

Severus had talked with Dumbledore about things and Dumbledore had agreed to wed the pair, and honestly, he was almost more excited than they were! Besides planning a wedding Hermione still had to talk with Severus about a nursery for the children and clothes. She wasn't completely comfortable about it, but it was necessary. Eventually she managed to bring it up when they the following day spent dinner together in their quarters.

Severus hadn't thought of it and realised how much they actually needed to do, before their wedding and the babies' arrival.

"We should create a schedule," he suggested and conjured some parchment and some ink and a pen.

"If we throw the wedding here at Hogwarts in the vacation, then we can spend out honeymoon in your home…" Hermione suggested in a low tone. "If you want to be there…"

"I'd love to be there with you," he whispered lovingly. "To share it with you…" he felt butterflies in his stomach by the thought of having someone to share everything with. They started to create a schedule for things. Their priority was to get the nursery up. Severus had talked with Dumbledore, who promised to connect another room to _their _quarters for them to use as a nursery. They also needed to buy things for the babies, mostly diapers, clothes, and cradles. They decided to buy things right away, since then that would be out of the way and there would be fewer things to worry about. Dumbledore informed that he would connect another room when they went to the Snape Manor for their honeymoon, because it might take some time to connect another room.

Only Dumbledore knew of Severus and Hermione marriage plans, which created another thing to worry about. First they had to find out who should be invited and then they had to make invitations and plan the wedding. Both Hermione and Severus wasn't interested in anything big. They agreed on the traditional things and the location, nothing more needed.

Hermione and Severus walked towards Hogsmaede dressed in thick robes and scarf. They were holding hands and enjoying the nature as it lay in front of them, covered in white.

Hermione felt a bit odd to walk the path with Severus, and Severus felt a bit odd to walk it with Hermione, but nonetheless both enjoyed it. They talked about potions and alchemy and sometimes they didn't talk at all, but enjoyed each other's company.

It was in one of those moments when Severus looked down at his soon-to-be-bride and found it hard to breathe. Hermione was dressed in thick robes in dark wine red, which was her favourite colour. Her long hair from Azkaban had been cut to her shoulders and was chocolate-brown and curly. She wore a cap in the Gryffindor colours, which tried its best to suppress her big hair. She noticed his gaze upon him and she looked up at him. Her skin was pale, but not sickly, he noted. Her soft face smiled to him and he couldn't help but smile back. Her cheeks were slightly red from the cold, which made her look more stunning than ever. He stopped their tracks and he leaned down and kissed her.

"You are – beautiful," he whispered intensely in her ear, resting his cheek against hers, before sliding along with it, and then he let his lips brush against hers, followed by a slightly more demanding kiss. She succumbed to his kiss and moved into his embrace, while twisting her arms around his neck in wish of having him closer, beyond possible unless melting into him. She let a low moan escape and they stopped kissing, staying lustfully close while looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Severus," she whispered, knowing that she would never feel tired of telling him. He was her rock, unwavering rock, and she would do everything to keep him.

"I love you too, Hermione," he whispered and kissed her lips lightly before they moved on, holding each other closer than before. They teased each other lightly as they made their way to the small and almost hidden baby shop in Hogsmaede. Severus stared at the shop oddly, and Hermione let out a low giggle before dragging him inside. She walked around between all the baby things, and let out a loving laugh again when she looked back at Severus, who was playing with some baby toy. He put it down when he saw her gazing at him.

"Children are spoiled now days," he informed and walked over to her. They spent almost two hours in the shop, picking out things. It was mostly Severus who found things, because as much as he tried to hide it, then he was rather intrigued by all the things you could get for children. There were things to stimulate their minds, such as red goes with red and square ball goes into the square hole and so on. In the end he had almost bought two things of everything. They had agreed on waiting with buying the toys until they had been wed, but Severus seemed out of control.

"Look, Hermione!" He uncharacteristically waved a small teddy bear, which could walk and made noises when squeezing it. Hermione laughed lightly and shook her head in disbelief, as she watched as Severus disposed it into their magical basket, made to rummage more than it looked like. Hermione made sure they had what they had originally had intended, while Severus walked around in the shop and found odd things. They also bought a twin-pram and then they bought nursery blankets and some children's books.

"Charge it to the Snape account," Severus said and Hermione looked at him surprised. She didn't really know what she had expected, but somehow she didn't like that he should pay for it all. "What?" He noticed her worried expression.

"It's just… I mean… I have an account too," she informed and he leaned down and kissed her affectionately.

"I know," he informed with a light tease, knowing that it wasn't what she had wished to point out.

"But I want to pay," she looked at him almost sorrowfully. "I can pay… I mean…" she looked so desperate and confused.

"Hermione," he hushed her lightly, "my money is your money…"

"I don't want your money… I just… If we're out then you'd pay, wouldn't you?" She looked into his eyes, and he saw that tears were building in Hermione's eyes.

"Of course," he agreed.

"But I'd like to pay too," she stated stubbornly and he first then understood what she meant.

"You want to be equal?" He questioned and she nodded as he had expected she would. He knew that trying to make her realise that she should just use from his account as much as she liked to was hopeless, because that wasn't her. She wanted to contribute to their relationship, just not be pampered. "Alright," he said thoughtfully. "We'll move your money into my vault when we're married, then you can feel better when buying things?"

"I don't know… I mean… I am an independent woman," she informed highly and he chuckled lightly.

"I know what you mean," he informed. "I know you wish to help with things in our relationship, but your first priority should be our children and their care. Do not be worried about spending too many money from my vault, because I dare reveal that I have too many," and with that he stole a quick kiss and followed her out of the store, with at least ten shrunken bags full of baby things. Hermione still had loads of things to say on the subject, and not even Azkaban had managed to squeeze the Gryffindor stubbornness out of her.

"But Severus," she tried again, sounding more annoyed than before. "It's not about how many money you have, but about how you'd feel if I pampered you. Would you be able to live of others money like that?" He raised an eyebrow at this and then his face turned pensieve.

"No, I suppose not. But the point is that the Snape vault is soon to be yours too… It's not only my money in them, but also the entire family's and all those who entered… There are money from many generations back, all who has contributed and spent from the vault as they liked," this made Hermione wonder how many money there actually was in the vault.

"I suppose I can move my money into your vault then," she half whispered, still not liking to use others money. "But not before we're married," she informed strictly and looked into his eyes.

"We won't put them together before we're married…" he agreed with an almost drawl.

"And Severus," Hermione suddenly spoke again. "Will that mean that I will be taking your surname?" Severus hadn't thought about that. He had subconsciously suspected she would, but he had never really thought clearly about it.

"Um…" he spoke with an uncharacteristic dimness, "Yes…?" He ventured to say, though sounding like when one of his students answered a question. "I assure you, Hermione, though the world knows that I fought for the Light, then my name still holds respect in the wizarding world. Not to mention that Draco Malfoy were on our side along with Narcissa. Two great families were on the side of the light…" Hermione nodded in understanding. She hadn't known that Draco Malfoy had turned good, but she supposed it had only been Dumbledore who had known in the beginning. Narcissa died on the battlefield, or so Hermione was told, leaving Lucius Malfoy alone with Draco. Though, Draco was put in a safe place away from Lucius, since Lucius had sworn to kill Draco for his traitorousness. Now Lucius was in Azkaban, leaving Draco as the right heir of the Malfoy family and was respected for his decisions. She supposed becoming in a Snape would be good, because it would make her safe. There was just one thing bothering her…

"Hermione?" Severus's voice cut through her thoughts and Hermione looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, Severus," she apologised for being so far away. "I was lost in my own thoughts…"

"If it is a bother, then you can keep your maiden name as a second and private surname?"

"I'd like that," she revealed, but looked still rather stricken. "It's just… I am a mud- muggleborn," she corrected herself, "and I am afraid of losing my true roots…" Severus slipped an arm around her as they walked through Hogsmaede. "Everyone would expect you to marry a pureblood, as they would expect Draco Malfoy to do too, because even though you both fought and still fights for the good, then you're still very high in the society…" She felt like crying again. "Damn hormones!" She damned as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Then I shall prove the world otherwise. Show the world that there is nothing wrong with muggleborns," he promised and leaned to kiss her forehead lightly, while removing her tears with his fingers. "That muggleborns," he whispered in a husky voice, before moving from her forehead to her mouth, "can be quite sexy," he whispered and held her closer while Hermione giggled before being hushed with an intense kiss again. Their tongues played together in a duel of the space. Both tongues rubbing against each other as they explored each other's mouth.

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	21. this and that over here and there

**About the sex part. She's seven months pregnany with twins. I think it would be stupid for them to have sex. They might not hit the babies, but there is actually drawn a line to when you can and cannot have sex. I think it's around the sevent month or so actually, so it fits, and even if i'm wrong, then it's still twins and better safe than sorry, eh?**

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****CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – this and that over here and there**

It would for sure take some time for Hermione to adjust things, but the problem was that she didn't have time. Yes, sure she could ask to wait with the wedding until she was ready, but somehow she knew that wouldn't work. She wanted to be married _before_ the babies arrived, so the only possible things were to actual just let things flow and try to stay on top the best she could.

Hermione was sure Severus was one of those men who would just let the woman with the wedding plans, but because she was pregnant he did much to take his off her shoulders, and therefore was really dedicated in everything. The wedding was planned in less than a day. It was quite simple and still styled, and Hermione thought it was nice. The invitations was ready to be sent out to the guests, so most things was over already.

Hermione still felt a bit odd for not having spoken with many of the people who were coming to Severus and hers wedding, but tried to suppress it.

Severus had suggested that they left for the Snape Manor right after the wedding ceremony, but Hermione had said that she'd like to stay among the guests and thank them for coming and apologise for her been so rude and cold. Severus understood and knew how much she tried to make things right again, no matter how hard it was for her.

"Apple a day will keep the doctor away," Severus drawled and the entrance to Dumbledore's office revealed itself and Severus and Hermione stepped inside and followed the rotating staircase up.

"Hermione, Severus," Dumbledore beamed as they entered, unmistakeable glints in his eyes, twinkling fondly at the pair. He gestured for them to sit, before taking a seat himself.

"So, there's eight days till you're married," Dumbledore rested his head on his hands, supported by his elbows on the desk. "I'll find a substitute professor in potions while you're spending your honeymoon together, you'll be gone for three weeks?" Severus nodded in confirmation.

"Yes, almost. We'll be back Sunday the 2nd of January," Severus re-told and Dumbledore wrote it down. "And please find someone competent, Albus, I'd rather not get back and find my students too much behind," the older wizard chuckled by the younger wizard's words.

"There's the vacation to remember too, so there won't be any classes really. But I promise you I'll find someone competent, otherwise I will do it myself," he promised.

"That's a faint comfort," Severus informed dryly, making Dumbledore chuckle.

"Well, on with things," Dumbledore carried on, "while you're gone I will make sure, with the help of the house elves, that there will be a second room connected to your quarters," both Hermione and Severus nodded at this. "You have everything ready? Baby things and invitations for the wedding have been posted?"

"Yes," Severus spoke, "and everyone has already told that they're coming," Dumbledore beamed.

"Excellent!" He exclaimed. "I myself simply cannot wait! I wonder what you have in store for us all…" his eyes twinkled happily. "You're still planning to throw it in the Hogwarts garden?" The young couple nodded. "Excellent choice, excellent choice," Dumbledore mumbled and leaned back in his chair. "Lemon drops?" With a light flick of his wand a plate with lemon drops appeared on the table. Hermione grabbed one right away. "Severus?" Dumbledore looked at Severus questioningly.

"Albus you know I'm allergic to them," Severus reminded him boringly.

"Yes, yes. But I also know that you're only saying so in hope I'll stop bugging you about it," this made Hermione snicker and Severus chuckle lightly.

"Indeed, indeed," Severus mumbled. "Perhaps you should take up the hint?"

"Where would the fun be then?" Dumbledore said with mock-outrage. "Now, Hermione," Dumbledore turned his attention to the young woman who was almost seven months pregnant. "Do you have anything to add to all this? The wedding, your babies, Severus and lemon drop?" Hermione giggled lightly and shook her head.

"No, headmaster, I have nothing to say," she smiled warmly and then made a pensieve face. Severus and Dumbledore regarded her pensive expression. She looked as if she had something on her mind, but didn't know how to express it.

"Hermione?" Dumbledore queried interested.

"Well, Headmaster," she spoke slowly, "there is one thing… But it's silly and has nothing to do with the subject…" she shook her head, indicating that it didn't matter and that she had nothing to add.

"Nothing is too big or too small, or out of character. Why, even blue mushrooms boiled with butter beer would be a nice topic, just out of the blue. Do tell me, Hermione, what you have on mind…" Dumbledore asked almost pleadingly.

"Well," she tried not to blush, but with no avail. "You remember your last password? Sugary Butterflies?" Dumbledore nodded lightly, "I was simply wondering whether they actually exist…" both Dumbledore and Severus chuckled by this, making Hermione blush even more than she already did.

"I do believe there is something called sugary butterflies, but I am afraid it is from Weasley Wizard's Wheeze…" Hermione's mouth O'ed in understanding.

"Oh well," she shrugged lightly, "it just sounded so delicious," she smiled and Dumbledore chuckled again along with Severus, who found her hand with his and squeezed it lightly.

"Well, we should be going again, we still have things to discuss," Severus made to stand and then, as the gentleman he was, helped Hermione up from her chair too. Dumbledore followed them over to the door, and then they said goodbye, before Severus and Hermione retreated to their quarters before dinner was up.

Severus and Hermione followed through corridors as they made their way to the second floor, east wing, in their path towards their quarters. Hermione's feet were exceedingly sore and it hurt to walk. It had been awhile since she had taken care of her feet and swollen ankles, and she promised to do it when she got back.

"Hermione?" Severus questioned.

"I hate walking," she moaned and before she knew of it Severus had swooped her from the ground and carried her. "Severus," she said surprised by his act, but nonetheless felt grateful.

"I'm dying," he teased and Hermione shot him a cold glare, which he was quite sure didn't mean anything good. "Just kidding," he hurried to add and she narrowed her eyes at him, but decided he should suffer her weight anyway. They reached their chambers and entered and then Severus laid Hermione in the couch. He stretched himself, noting himself mutely never to try and carry her again while pregnant, and then Severus looked down at Hermione and his expression froze. Only a few times, actually only one time besides this, had Severus been captured with his entire soul by her vision. She was in general a beautiful woman and he loved her truly, but a few times she managed to look like a goddess, making him completely unable to do anything but gawp at her. Masses of curly brown hair framed her soft and round face as she lay in the couch, looking up at him in wonder of what he was wondering about. His eyes noted how her chest rose slowly as she took an intake of breath, and then fell slightly as she let it out, leaving her collarbone clearer. Her large breasts, from being pregnant, were firmly hidden by the warm winter dress, though still showing a glimpse of cleavage. He followed the dress and saw how perfect it covered her and then showed her large abdomen, creating a light pain in his chest of excitement. In his moment of passion Severus, though rather blankly, kneeled down next to her, while looked intensely at her soft curved face. Her lips were soft looking and slightly red. They were parted by inch and Severus felt how butterflies were unleashed in his stomach. How he sought to touch those sweet lips of hers again. He moved closer and closed his eyes, as Hermione did the same, and shared what could only be described as a true Kiss of Love.

* * *

Hermione was currently standing in front of her full-length mirror in the bedroom, getting dressed. She had just taken a shower and was now about to brush her hair, when a strangely familiar voice came from the sitting room. 

"Hey Sev," The voice travelled through the air and through the bedroom door, which was ajar. When the voice hit her ears she stopped abruptly.

"Don't call me Sev," Severus warned with a growl from the sitting room. Hermione straightened her spine, her ears sharp in order to hear why Draco Malfoy was visiting.

"How's Hermione?" Draco Malfoy asked after a short pause. Hermione's lower lip quivered for a reason unknown, the only thing she could think about was the extreme wish to get away.

"Good…" Severus replied courtly.

"Thanks for the wedding invitation. You're getting married," Draco Malfoy sounded smug about it, and Hermione started pacing, thinking of a way to get away. Right now she didn't care about Severus. She knew Draco Malfoy was good, but she wasn't ready to be so close to him, even though she could avoid him if staying in the bedroom. Millions of mixed emotions sprung from her chest to her mind, telling her things. **_You're in love with Severus,_** a voice reminded her. **_It's fake! It's not love, but comfort!_ **Another voice said. **_You're making a mistake; Severus is not in love with you! He's with you because he's a gentleman!_ **Another voice hissed angrily. **_Need to get away! Things are too crammed! Rudolfus is gone! You can leave and never come back! Raise you children yourself! You don't love Severus! You think you love him because he's the father to your children! Silly girl, think! He's never liked you, why start just because you had sex? It was sex, not love! You hate him! Hate! Hate! HATE! Get away from him! Faster, faster, faster! Find an exit! Pack your things and leave!_ _You will have to endure Draco Malfoy's company, because he's Severus's godson! This is too much!_**_ Voices_ screamed at her and Hermione hid her face in her hands. Did she really love Severus, or was it just the thought of being whole? Why did he even love her? This was all so ridiculous! It was as if Draco Malfoy had opened all the wounds of her doubts just by uttering a single word. She knew it was a stupid thing, but in this moment her desires controlled her and therefore she did what she felt in the moment. And in this moment she felt like getting away – she'd be back, eventually.

"It's in the potions room, I'll go with you," Severus's voice drawled and Hermione heard the door open and then close. She was alone now in their quarters. She could leave. It was so easy. She just needed to get her coat and then leave. Give a shit about her possessions, just get her coat. Her breath was getting ragged from the confusion. What should she do? She wanted to leave, but she feared the loneliness.

"He's just being a gentleman. He doesn't love you," Hermione told herself and closed her eyes as she relaxed. "Get your coat," she informed herself and with heavy steps Hermione went over to the closet and found a long coat. She grasped her coat and got it on, after which she hurried into the sitting room, which she crossed to get to the door. But just as she reached the door to the Teachers' Hall the door to the dungeons opened and Severus slipped in, but stopped by the worried expression on Hermione's face and her dressed state, fit to be outside.

"Hermione?" Severus asked, surprised. Hermione hadn't been outside yet and he knew why. He couldn't possibly see why she just wanted to go outside now. It was rather dark since it was four in the afternoon, not to mention it was winter. She looked at him with an expressionless face. "Where're you going?" He was surprised to see her take a step away, and his heart fell to the ground. She was battling with herself, somehow she wanted to get away, but by the sight of Severus she felt like staying.

Hermione fell to her knees and tears rolled down her eyes. Severus was kneeling by her not a second later she had dropped to floor. "Did you get hurt?" He asked worried and received a loud slap. He sat kneeling by her and looked dumbfounded and shocked at her. The expression she wore was anger and hatred, worse than what he had seen when she had refused him the first time.

"You bastard!" She whispered angrily, and Severus touched his sore cheek in confusion. Normally he'd probably get mad, but this was Hermione and this was… odd.

"Hermione?" He asked confused, while watching tears fall down Hermione's cheek in steady streams.

"You don't love me!" She sobbed uncontrollably and Severus gaped and pulled her into his embrace. She tried to get loose, but he wouldn't let her.

"We've been over this before," he reminded her forcefully, and she hit him in hope to get away, but he wouldn't let her.

"How can you love me?" She cried and looked up into his face. "I am Hermione Granger, the stupid Gryffindor Know-it-all! How can it have changed?" She looked into his eyes deeply, awaiting his explanation.

"I got to know you," he whispered.

"But I don't like you! I don't like anyone. I want to get away! I am scared! It's so much!" She cried hysterically. "You're only with be because it's the right thing to do…" At this Snape snorted with mirth, and Hermione looked at him angrily.

"Hermione that's not true. I love you, deeply. Yes I got to know you because you're pregnant with my children, but if I found you stupid then I wouldn't marry you even though you're pregnant," he explained and Hermione calmed down. "Do you really dislike me?" He asked softly after a long pause, his voice full of emotions. Hermione shook her head wildly.

"No!" She started crying. "You're the only one I like," she whispered and crumbled into his embrace for protection.

"Do you wish to," he sunk a lump, "call off the wedding?" His hand caressed her arm automatically, soothing her. Hermione looked up at him. "If you're not ready, or if you don't want to…" he trailed off, unable to continue due a lump in his throat.

"I'm just scared," she whispered and laid her head on his shoulder, tears were falling silently from her cheek. "I don't want to call it off, I'm just scared," she repeated softly closed her eyes in a weak attempt to stop her tears from falling.

"My love for you is unconditionally, Hermione," Severus whispered in her ear.

* * *

"Hermione," Severus whispered some few days before their wedding. Hermione still needed a gown, but had decided upon waiting to buy it so she wouldn't grow out of it too soon. Hermione looked at Severus and waited for him to continue. 

"Yes, Severus?" She questioned with a light impatience for him not continuing.

"Don't you want a fairytale wedding?" They were sitting on the bed one morning, Severus looking deeply into her brown chocolate pools.

"Fairytale wedding?" Hermione almost laughed. "We're done planning…" she reminded him with a light smile.

"Our wedding is simple. Everything has been planned down to every detail, but still completely simple and I think it's nice…" there was a 'but' lingering in the air.

"But?" She questioned.

"It's just… I want it to be the wedding of your dreams, not just a _simple _wedding…" he carried on, watching her more intense than before.

"What about the wedding of _your_ dreams?"

"I've never thought of all that fluffy things, but I seriously wouldn't mind if living things up more… even _with_ fluffiness" Hermione looked at him confused. What was his point? He saw her distress and hurried on. "I don't want you to think back and wonder about the dress you actually wanted or the flowers you really wished for. A small bouquet…" he knew she had planned for a small bouquet, and it just didn't seem right for all those girly imaginations girls have. He had been forced to attend Harry's wedding with Ginny Weasley, and Ron's wedding with Lavender's, not to mention Remus and Tonks' and all the other Weasley children, who had all gotten married while Hermione was in Azkaban. But, they all had one thing in common. It followed the old fairytales of a real girl's dream, though still having some male things in. But all the males had wanted the fairytale wedding too, and in truth, Severus wanted it a bit too. Well, not a bit. This was going to be a one-time and he wanted it to be perfect. He just hadn't thought of it before thinking back to the many weddings he had attended and seen what they had done – maybe get some inspiration.

"I don't follow you," Hermione answered truthfully.

"Don't you want your fantasy wedding? The big fairytale wedding? Don't you have an image of a fairytale wedding in your mind like all other women?" He questioned almost too desperately. Her face fell lightly.

"I don't believe in fairytales…" and with that she ended the conversation, soundlessly daring him to pick up the argument again. Having been sent to Azkaban had made her realise that there are no such things as fairytales.

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**A/N – There's a wedding soon!**


	22. fairytale weddings can come true

**HEY! Thanks for reviewing! You're doing an excellent job! Here's a chapter, hope you like it.**

**And the sex problem: well, I have never had children, luckily because I wouldn't have time for them since I can't stop writing. I'm thinking someone must've spelled my computer, because I can't seem to leave it... hehe... :P Anyway, they will have sex, in a way. I just don't like the thought of Severus and Hermione intimate while she's seven months pregnant with twins. I keep seeing this dick hitting the child in the head, sorry, know that won't happen because they're further up and his dick needs to be really long in order to reach the children, but I can't help myself anyway... :S**

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – fairytale weddings can come true**

**A/N: Wedding! Almost! ARG!**

"SHUT UP!" She finally screamed when not being able to handle things anymore. People were rushing around. People were setting things up for the wedding and many asking for advice. Hermione hated stress and especially now when she was as big as a freaking hippogriff!

"What Hermione means is that she's the bride and she's pregnant and she's stressed, not to mention she's not supposed to be out here!" One Ginny Potter came to her rescue and apologised to the young man, who seemed to be rather confused. "Ask Severus," she informed and dragged Hermione into the castle, from where they would stay for five hours until everything was set. For her _babies safety_ Hermione had been told to stay in a room and make herself ready, letting Severus and the others take care of everything else.

"Thanks, Gin," Hermione sighed lightly and allowed Ginny to drag Hermione into the castle and into the room, which for some bloody reason did not hold any windows. "Why are there no windows?" She complained slightly tired, and tears welled in her eyes, and suddenly Hermione found herself unable to contain her sobs, which turned slightly more hysterical as time went.

"Oh, Mione, just relax. You know why there's no windows," Ginny smiled happily; "you look out and see that people are stressed and then you'll become stressed…" she trailed of by closing the door and locking it. Hermione sat down on a bed and lay down, revealing how tired she actually was. "Go to sleep and I'll wake you…" Ginny proposed.

"How can I?" Hermione mused loudly, still sobbing.

"You can be allowed for two hours, I think that is needed," Ginny took a seat too.

"I miss Severus," Hermione revealed sentimentally. "I haven't seen him for bloody two days!"

"You know the guys needed to throw a stag party," Ginny waved it off relaxed.

"They did that the same night as you and all the other women threw one for me," Hermione pointed out, and dried her eyes, "which was the day before yesterday…" she reminded. "Which means we couldn't been together yesterday…"

"Of course you couldn't!" Ginny said preposterously, "It's bad luck to be with the bride 24 hours before the wedding," Ginny memorised. "Besides, it'll increase your wish to see him…"

"It can't be more increased! I need him now! I need to know that he's fine!" Hermione sat up in anger. "I am bloody going to check up on him," Ginny pushed Hermione back in bed. "Gin, what if he… you know…" Hermione blushed faintly and Ginny knitted her eyebrows in confusion, "at the stag party…" Hermione trailed off and realisation dawned on Ginny.

"Oh! No he didn't cheat on you," Ginny secured her.

"How'd you know?"

"For once he's not the type, secondly, Albus was with them," that settled things.

"Can I at least check up on him so I know he's alive and not skinned by Albus for accidental cheating?"

"He's alive and well. There were no women involved in their party," Ginny informed knowingly, but Hermione wasn't convinced. "I know, Hermione," Ginny finally said, "because they did it here at Hogwarts…"

"WHAT? We were here at Hogwarts too! You said they were out!"

"Yes, said the same to Severus to prevent him from leaving their party. The castle is quite big, so if there were any women heading up there we would've seen then since we partied in the Great Hall, near the entrance hall…" Hermione worried her lower lip. "He's fine, I promi-" a soft knock sounded from the door.

"Hermione, Ginny?" Severus's voice called from the other side and Hermione almost sprung out of bed.

"Yes?" Ginny called, trying to keep Hermione back.

"I just wanted to talk to you Ginny, quickly, and then tell Hermione how much I love her and can't wait to see her…"

"What about me? Don't you want to see me? Please come in! I miss you!" Hermione felt like bursting into tears.

"No!" Ginny said impatiently. "Stay out there," Ginny ordered Severus. She forced Hermione into bed to relax, reminding her of the wedding _rules_. This was a wizarding wedding so she had no doubt that odd things could indeed happen if not keeping the rules, and she'd rather not give birth in the middle of it all. Ginny slipped out of the room and didn't come back before ten minutes later.

"Just checked up on the things and then Remus wanted me to give me our dresses," she was carrying the wedding dress and the maid's dress inside two long holsters, preventing dirt to touch the dresses.

"Can I see it," Hermione made it towards the dresses, but Ginny prevented her.

"Not yet," Ginny put them into the closet. "It's bad luck for the bride to touch and see it again before wearing it, haven't you checked your wedding manual?"

"Manual?" Hermione questioned horrified and Ginny rolled her eyes.

"You should sleep while you can. There's still almost five hours until the wedding, and it doesn't take that long for you to be ready. Just sleep," Hermione followed Ginny's advice and made to sleep. She had been up most of the night in anxiety and therefore fell asleep right away, dreaming that she was late to her own wedding and that everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

Eventually her dream was broken as Ginny pushed her lightly, waking her up.

"I don't want to give birth now…" Hermione muttered and stirred in bed and then moved to sit up, her hair looking a mess. She let out a loud scream by the sight of four unknown women and Ginny standing by her bed. "What…" she trailed off while trying to calm down.

"Irene and Lisa, will be doing our hair," Ginny pointed at two elderly women with blond smooth hair. "Pat, and Jessica, will be cleaning our face and body," she pointed at two other women. "Annie and Maria, will be doing our make-up," she pointed at another two women. "Mia and Hanna, will do our fingers and toes," she pointed at the last two women. Why two of each Hermione did not know, but then again, she hadn't ordered this.

"I didn't order them!" Hermione exclaimed surprised.

"I did," Ginny said.

"I thought we were to do it ourselves?"

"You thought wrong," Ginny smirked knowingly at Hermione. Before Hermione could protest and register what was going on, Ginny had pulled her from the bed and was undressing her. Hermione felt naked and confused, but she was given a towel and the forced into the bathroom, along with the four unknown witches. Hermione was put into the shower, where she was told to clean herself properly and wash herself, and then she was put into the tub/pool, which was waiting for her, filled with hot water. Hermione was ordered in and she noted that it smelled like roses and flowers. She was ordered to lie on a bended stretcher, which was adjusted to make her body lie under the water, so when she lied on it her stomach would be under water too, making only her face and toes stick up. Then the witch called Pat made to clean and do her face, while Hermione felt Mia begin doing her toes. The warm water on her body was very nice and magically kept hot. Scents of flowers tugging into her skin, making her smell nice. Incenses were lighted, giving the room a nice atmosphere and calming Hermione and her babies. Hermione looked questioningly at Ginny, who shook her head, telling her that she would be told nothing. Ginny slipped into the pool to lie of a stretcher too, though not bended since she wasn't pregnant. Ginny received the same as Hermione. Eventually Hermione's questions were drowned since the facial cleaning and doings did not allow her to speak. Her mind was full of questions, trying to figure out what was going on. She somehow wanted to rant and yell about all this, which didn't include in her plans, but it was nice and she supposed some of that fairytale dream she had once had could still be made up for with this.

She enjoyed being pampered this way, being made to perfection, but soon enough it was over and Hermione and Ginny both got up and was followed over to the bathroom table, where two comfortable looking chairs awaited.

Irene began doing Hermione's hair, while Lisa did Ginny's. Hermione couldn't see how Ginny looked, and some how anticipated it, forgetting that this was not in her plans.

Again Mia and Hanna stepped in and began putting nail polish them, though as far as Hermione could see it was different colours. Hermione's was white and Ginny's was pale red.

Hermione wished that they hadn't covered the bathroom mirror so she could see how she looked, but apparently it was a surprise.

"Gin," Hermione said eventually. "Thank you for this treatment, it is a nice gesture," Hermione ended in a half-whisper.

"Just promise me you won't freak out," Ginny asked.

"I won't," Hermione promised, not understanding why her friend would worry. Nails were being treated and charmed not to be ruined and their feet likewise. Hair was almost done and when it was Hermione felt so anxious about seeing it. She had her own hair in mind, which had been curls in some fancy hair-do. They were both done and Hermione turned to Ginny, and gaped, which Ginny also did. Ginny's red hair had been twisted into long curls and then still keeping it in the smoothness it owned. Hermione envied how beautiful she looked.

"You look beautiful, 'Mione," Ginny informed and Hermione remembered that she had been styled too.

"You too," she informed. They both got up and were taken into the bedroom, where few things were made before their dresses were brought to them.

"Ginny!" Hermione screeched horrified. "They made a mistake at the dress store! This is NOT my dress!" Hermione whined, but stopped when she saw Ginny's calm face. Ginny smirked at Hermione wistfully and pulled out her own dress, which should've been pale beige, but was now the same pale red colour as Ginny's nails. Hermione looked confused and then pulled out her own wedding dress, which first of all was made of silk instead of velvet like she had ordered. Second of all it was with a train and it was big. Not fluffy at all. Its sleeves were tight and went to her elbow, and the dress had a V cut from shoulder to shoulder, though a decent one.

"Don't get stressed," Ginny smile and Hermione was helped into the dress, which fitted her as if the size was directed to her directly. It was pure silk, which was slightly thick so she wouldn't freeze too much, and it was really a princess dress. It was sticking to the sides nicely, and not too much, and the train had to be at least 2 metre. Hermione was too speechless to speak. "Are you okay? Is it too much?" Ginny suddenly questioned, and Hermione looked at Ginny as she stood in her long dress, ending almost by the floor. It was a true bridesmaid dress.

"No, no," Hermione said, almost crying. Ginny hugged Hermione before they were to have make-up on. "It's just that I seriously didn't think that I wanted a fairytale wedding, and now the treatment and the dress," Hermione felt tears stinging her eyes and slowly they fell down her cheeks. "That was why I couldn't see the dress? Not because of a wedding rule?"

"Yep. Now relax, 'Mione. Don't want to give birth too early," she joked and smiled happily. The dress was slightly tight across Hermione's chest and then tight down to her large abdomen, which wasn't much, and then it loosened greatly over her grown belly. Hermione got on shoes with around an inch high. But thick, heels and then she was placed in a chair, as Ginny was too, and then they were to get their make-up laid. Hermione was still waiting to see her own hair, but supposed it wouldn't be until she was completely ready. They sat for some time and then they were ready and allowed to looked into the mirror, though not before Hermione had gotten her veil on, which she wasn't supposed to have either. It was slightly long, down to her waist, and was put with a white rose into her hair, and then Hermione stood to see herself in a large mirror. She gaped. Her make-up was simple but detailed. Her skin was slightly white, but had been given a light blush to stain her cheeks. Her entire make-up had been laid to draw attention on her natural chocolate eyes and her lips, which was a soft red. Her hair was brown and styled curls in a hair-do, which reminded of a maze. In and out between each other, though leaving a few curls to frame her face. The veils was put on the top with a white rose and glided down her back and almost naked shoulders.

"Ginny!" Hermione said, gaping at her own reflection. "I'm beautiful!" Ginny giggled from next to her. "Thank you," she thanked Ginny and the eight women who had treated them. They thanked politely, all smiling happily by the result.

"You look like a fairytale bride," Ginny commented truthfully and Hermione turned to Ginny.

"There's something fishy going on, but I am most happy for what you've done… I didn't realise…" Ginny held up a polite hand.

"There's still time to strangle me," and then they were interrupted by a polite knock on the door.

"Hermione, Ginny, soon ready?" Remus's voice questioned.

"Yes!" Ginny yelled back and thanked the eight witches again before they made their leave, whishing Hermione good luck. "Ask no questions," Ginny asked and went to get the bouquet, which was a big bouquet of red and white roses along with some for-get-me-not flowers mixed between each other, tied with a ribbon in Gryffindor colours and Slytherin colours. It was beautiful and matched the dress perfectly, hiding Hermione's grown belly slightly. Hermione felt tears sting her eyes again. She hugged Ginny and thanked God for the anti spell to keep the make-up perfect even though she was crying and such. "Don't worry, 'Mione, I'm not behind everything," she smirked wistfully again and Hermione let out an unlady-like snort, though in disbelief. There was another knock.

"Hermione, Gin?" Ron Weasley called from the other side of the door.

"We're ready," Ginny called and Harry and Ron stepped inside, gaping at the two women.

"Good god! 'Mione is that you?" Both young men questioned in unison and Hermione nodded, unable to speak.

"Aren't you supposed to be down with the others?" Hermione questioned. Harry and Ron and Ginny looked at each other.

"We're giving you away" Ron informed, making Hermione gape. She had planned to walk down the isle alone.

"Unless…." Harry started out unsure.

"No, no! I'd be happy to have you give me away," again tears welled up and soon they all hugged. "Thank you for ruining my original plans, because I seriously didn't know what I actually wanted," she almost cried. She hugged her two male friends.

"Pictures," Ron said and went over to a desk in the room, where he found a camera in one of the drawers. Hermione and Ginny posed together and Hermione posed alone. Hermione posed with Harry and Ron and then they were done.

"We should get going," Ginny said, smiling suddenly insecure. Hermione nodded and Ginny picked up Hermione's train carefully and they all followed outside.

"Just… don't give birth too soon," Ron suddenly turned to Hermione.

"Ginny's already asked me that. Is there something more?" She suddenly became aware of the fact that she was some seven months pregnant and what if she suddenly went into labour?

"Severus knew you had planned a lot together, but he wanted it to be the wedding of your, both', dreams, not just a _simple_ wedding with _simple _things…" silence followed and Hermione suddenly felt insecure of what to say or do.

"Relax, Hermione," Ginny smiled again.

"You've been planning this together!" Hermione suddenly blurted out in accusation. Severus had been gone much since their discussion about a fairytale wedding and Ginny had never been available when Hermione needed to chat. Ginny gave Hermione a wry smile.

"Well he did need some advice on the stuff about your dress and such…" she shrugged. "We really should get going," she smirked and they made their way towards the door leading to the Hogwarts garden. She trusted Severus and she had begun trusting Ginny too. Things would be all right. Their path towards the garden door was a red carpet from the bedroom door, from where they had come, to the garden door, and red and white petals from roses lay around on the carpet. Harry and Ron walked on either side of Hermione, and Hermione focused on holding her bouquet. She was nervous and excited, and at the same time she tried to tell her babies to stay inside until the wedding at least was over. They reached the garden door, which was decorated with Gryffindor and Slytherin ribbons.

"I'm so excited!" Ron exclaimed, making a small jump. Ginny, Harry, and Hermione giggled quietly and the Hermione finally linked her left arm with Ron's, since he was walking on her left side and she really needed some support. Her other hand was clutched her bouquet and Harry caressed her back gently in assurance, before tapping his wand lightly on the door, giving signal for the music to begin.

The music began with an unfamiliar wizarding Wedding March, before the doors were opened as they started walking. Hermione tried hard to gape as she tried discreetly to look around, though in the end it was hardly called discreet. It was in the garden, though snow had been cleared from the path of course and a large, very large tent had been pulled up to prevent the boringly falling snow to ruin things. The garden had also been enchanted so that the flowers were alive and blooming beautifully. The air had been charmed hot and nice, along with a calming scent in the air. The guests were many she knew from the Order. They were sitting on each side of the path red carpet covered ground, where white and red rose petals still lay. On the chairs of the guests Gryffindor and Slytherin ribbons made small hearts and there were small bouquets of flowers lying on the edge of the red carpet. Then her eyes caught a man in black wizarding robes, though not looking like he usually did in his teaching. These were perfect fitted for him, tailored perfectly. He was gaping as he saw her and Hermione tried to suppress a smile as he was elbowed slightly by his best man, who was Remus Lupin. Albus Dumbledore was the priest. Eventually she couldn't keep her smile back and blushed furiously as she let out a true and happy smile by seeing all this. The guests were all standing and smiling safely to her as she passed. Ron gave her arm a small tug in relaxation and safety and Hermione couldn't help but really feel safer. True she might not remember every face, and many of them she had no clue of who were - though she suspected that they were from the order and something like that – but right now she wished she had invited the whole world to see this and spend this day with her. She wished everyone could feel how happy she was right now and see how beautiful everything was. They reached the altar, where Severus and Remus stood, along with Albus Dumbledore, and Harry and Ron both padded her in assurance and safety. Ginny corrected Hermione's train and her veil slightly, and then she took over Hermione's bouquet, before taking her seat by Harry and Ron, who were of course sitting on the first row of what was the bride's side.

Severus was definitely staring now and Hermione caught his eyes; she was getting freaking nervous. They moved closer and gave each other a last smile before turning both their attentions towards Dumbledore.

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	23. thou art my love

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – thou art my love**

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_Every thing may be mimicked by hypocrisy, but humility and love united. The humblest star twinkles most in the darkest night–the more rare humility and love united, the more radiant where they meet._

_All this may be mimicked very well; this Aphorism certainly was an oversight, for what are all crawlers but mimickers of humility and love?_

**- William Blake**

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Severus and Hermione had planned everything to the last detail. The only problem was that it was too simple. He wanted Hermione to have the wedding of her dreams, but knew she'd never agree if he talked with her about it.

He floo'ed Ginny Potter, who was rather surprised to see him, but Severus launched into an explanation about his worries. Together they started planning as quickly as they could, seeming there were only four days left for the wedding, and the two days before the wedding was on his _stag party_ and doing a few arrangements. Almost everything was re-planned, except the location and how to create the atmosphere for the location.

It had been tough, but necessary.

He had stood with Remus, almost trembling and feeling as if he should vomit by anxiety. Remus had padded him lightly and smiled. Before he knew of it the music began and the guests stood, after which the doors opened, revealing Harry and Ron on each side of Hermione. His breath was caught in his throat by the sight of her. She was glancing around, almost gaping in astonishment, and her entire being was eradiating with a renewed strength and happiness for what had been done for her. Remus had to elbow him so he would stop gaping, but that didn't shake him out of his daze. She looked incredible. Ginny had really done well selecting a new dress and the bouquet was perfect. Only slightly could he see the large belly, but it was almost covered by her bouquet. She reached him by the altar and their eyes locked. She looked at him in a way he did not fully understand, but he knew it was something good. They turned to Albus, who began the ceremony when people had seated.

Five minutes later Severus felt like asking the old coot to get to the point where they should say 'I do' and then kiss. He was anxiously waiting to taste her red lips. As he stood, listening to Albus, Severus became aware of the fact that Hermione smelled like flowers. Which one he could not depict, but she smelled good. Though, it only annoyed him further not to be able to just grasp her at kiss her, but he restrained himself.

Slowly he grasped Hermione's hand to sooth her, or himself, either way she let her thumb stroke his hand lightly as they waited for Albus to finish his wedding babble.

Hermione wished she had her bouquet, because then she had something to keep her hands busy with. It was unnerving to listen to Albus speaking and all she just wished was to tell him to skip everything except where they should say yes to each other and kiss. Severus grasped her hand quietly and calmed her. She stroked his hand lightly in return, soothing him too. It made her shivers stop and she realised how right it was to have him stop her shivering, whether it was from fear or nervousness.

"… … And so we have all gathered here today to unite two special wizards in a holy matrimony of soul and mind. If anyone has any objections, to why these two shouldn't be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," Dumbledore finally spoke and there were a few seconds of pause, where luckily no one spoke. Hermione had the distinct feeling that Harry, Ron, and Ginny stood up and were glaring at the guests, daring them to interrupt.

"And so I ask you, Severus Augustus Snape: do you willingly take Hermione Jane Granger to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Dumbledore questioned.

"I do." Severus replied and Hermione felt his hand squeeze hers lightly.

"Will you honour, love, cherish, and help her as you should, in sickness and in health, through better and through worse?"

"I do." Severus responded again, though with a steadier voice this time.

"And do you, Hermione Jane Granger, willingly take Severus Augustus Snape to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Hermione said, surprisingly calm.

"Will you honour, love, cherish, and help him as you should, in sickness and in health, through better and through worse?"

"I do," Hermione agreed and felt her heart ease.

"Rings," Albus asked and Remus came with the rings, which Hermione noted was the same as they had decided. They weren't plain, but they were right. Diamonds with some light red and green in were pressed into two strings of silver, which were twisted around each other. "Man and woman, wizard and witch, bonded in holiness of a wizarding matrimony now presented as husband and wife. You may kiss your bride," Albus smiled as the two in question turned towards each other and wrapped each other up in each other's arms. Mouths meeting and tongues dancing joyfully. "I now present: Mr. and Mrs. Severus Snape!" People clapped, forcing Hermione and Severus to untangle themselves from each other. Ginny came over with Hermione's bouquet and then she went to hold the train of Hermione's dress, as Severus and Hermione made it through the rows of guests and into the castle and to the Great Hall, where the rest of the party would proceed. It was the beginning of the winter vacation so all the students had left for their home, and those few who had stayed was staying somewhere in the castle.

Severus and Hermione barely got the chance to talk with each other, even though they walked to the Great Hall together. People were talking joyfully and both were wrapped up in happy thoughts and wondering how to tame the butterflies in their stomach. The Great Hall was decorated beautifully. The long tables had been made into smaller tables with four or six seated. There were place cards with names on along with a small poem. People came to congratulate the pair, and then Albus Dumbledore made to get Hermione and Severus seated by their table, where Harry, Ginny, Ron and Lavender, Remus and Tonks, Albus and Minerva were also sitting, as the only table with ten people. First then Hermione managed to look at Severus, and she swung her arms around him, which surprised him since he still had trouble getting rid of people, even though he had taken a seat.

"Hermione?" He asked softly, smiling into her hair.

"This is so beautiful. I didn't realise that I actually wanted this, I just…" she tried to find words, but Severus hushed her with a light kiss.

"I love you and I'd do much more for you," he informed truthfully and Hermione leaned into his embrace slightly without ruining her hair and make-up. "Have I told you how beautiful you look?" He whispered huskily in her ear, making her smile and giggle lightly.

"Thank you," she kissed him again and then the noise died down as Dumbledore stood.

"And now I would like to open the wedding feast with a raised glass in honour to our newly weds," everyone stood, except Hermione and Severus, and people raised their glasses towards the wedded. Cheers. People sat again and then Harry and Ron stood, making a loud _hem-hem_ in clearing their throats, playing Umbridge; there was a scattered snickering.

"Now, once you've eaten you'll be tired and all that, so Harry and I will make our speech now when people are awake…" Ron spoke loudly, his ears rather red from embarrassment.

"Yes," Harry carried on and looked towards Severus and Hermione. "Hermione Granger, our beloved friend who has been through a lot, but has managed to come back to us…" Harry gave her a genuine smile. "You are like our sister," he said truthfully, "we love you so very much and we are pleased to see that you have managed to capture a man, who is on the same intellectual level as you, which is very rare, and which means you'll be avoiding boring Quidditch conversations," he smiled and people snickered while Hermione tried to suppress a light giggle too.

"Severus," Ron took over, "you are a great man and a very nice guy too," Ron smiled wryly, "you have been put into different situations with our Hermione, but you have managed to turn things and get the best out of it. You have rescued her and you have given her lots of love, to which we are ever grateful for. Hermione is lucky to have you, and as her _family_ we're very pleased to welcome you into the family," Ron finished and Hermione beamed as Severus shook hands with Harry and Ron in thanks. There was a loud applause and then people shouted for Severus to make his speech. Reluctantly and slightly blushing Severus stood from his seat and found a paper from the inner pocket in his tailored robes.

"Hermione," he started out and locked eyes with her momentarily, before glancing out over the crowds of faces, all looking expectantly at him. "I do not know how our situation would've been if things hadn't proceeded as they did. I know, however, that they proceeded in a way, which have made us closer and I realised that I hold a deep respect, a deep love, and a deep happiness _for _you and with you…" there was a pause where they locked eyes again. Hermione felt silly, because tears were building up in her eyes. "The human vocabulary is too small to even get near how I feel, and I do not believe any vocabulary to be big enough for me to describe how I feel for you. You are my light, and I am truly honoured to be your husband, to know that our future is together, which is all that matters to me. I love you," he looked down at her, tears were falling gently from her eyes and he sat down and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, whispering over and over how much he loved her and then ending with a kiss. People smiled and applauded and finally people could order food from the menu card. Hermione and Severus sat closer, just enjoying the contact with each other, while listening to people chatter.

After a nice, long, dinner there was a break for three quarters of an hour before desert was brought out. The dinner was heavenly the desert was a surprise. Hermione knew it was a cake, but she suspected Severus to have played around a bit. And right she was. A great wedding cake was brought out and Hermione and Severus went to slice the first piece together. Hermione enjoyed how things were and she truly appreciated that Severus had taken things into his own hands.

"You're my clever husband," she informed and shared some cake with him.

"I believe it is time for the Wedding Waltz," Minerva said aloud and people moved to stand around the happy couple when desert was over. Music played from a hired band, and Severus led Hermione around in a gracious waltz, which both had prepared and practised in for this night. Slowly people moved closer and eventually making Severus and Hermione unable to move anywhere. Severus leaned down and kissed Hermione tenderly and lovingly and people applauded. Now alcohol was brought out and Severus and Hermione got their pictures taken by the hired photographer, who had also taken pictures of the couple and some of the guests the entire night, creating a special photo album for the couple. Hermione also danced a dance with Harry and Ron, before she was to say her goodbyes. She talked with the Weasleys, especially Molly Weasley, and then she talked with Fred and George, Bill and Charlie also.

"Congratulations," she had just finished off a talk with Ron when the voice of Draco Malfoy interrupted. Hermione stiffened, shocked. Why was she so scared of him? She wondered.

"Thank you," she said, looking vulnerable and innocent. There was an uncomfortable pause between them and then Draco Malfoy cleared his throat.

"I am really sorry for the past," said Draco Malfoy, indicating his treatment towards her. She had honestly no idea of how to respond.

"Yes," she responded, feeling close to tears. She hated her hormones. Draco Malfoy sensed that Hermione was close to falling apart, and pulled out his hand, taking the first step.

"You're a clever witch, Hermione, and you and Severus are a great couple," Hermione, very hesitant, shook it. It was warm and human, unlike cold and rough, as subconscious had suspected. She nodded, not really able to speak, and then they were interrupted by Severus.

"Draco, Hermione," he greeted. He wasn't sure how Hermione was feeling about Draco, and knew it would take her a lot of time to get well with him. Hermione stepped closer to Severus, who leaned down and kissed her gently.

"Thank you for coming, Mal- Dr-draco," Hermione managed to say, looking down onto the floor and just generally everywhere else than at Draco Malfoy.

"Thank you for inviting me, and congratulations again," he bowed, "have a nice honeymoon," and then he made his way towards the Weasleys.

"He's a changed man," Severus whispered and Hermione gave a whimpering sound as she hid in Severus's chest. For a few minutes Severus gave held Hermione close, giving her the strengths to get on with their goodbyes to the guest. He was like her fuel.

Then they walked around, saying both their goodbyes, as they were to leave. What should've taken half an hour took almost 1,5 hour, but finally the pair managed to have said their goodbyes and gotten away. Severus held Hermione tight as their floo'ed to the Snape Manor, where they would be spending their honeymoon.

"Presents," Hermione pointed out. There was a table nearby, where Albus had laid all the presents for them to open when they had the energy. There was a rather large pile of presents, and Hermione dared to suppose that there had to be at least a hundred presents, but then some of them were probably baby presents too.

"Tomorrow we can look at the presents and comment people's lack of creativity since they've all given us books," he whispered huskily, "now I wish to cuddle my pregnant wife and show her how much I really adore her," he had promised himself never to carry her again while pregnant, but he had to make an exception. He swept her off the ground and carried her up a large staircase to their bedroom, which Severus had decorated with petals from roses and bonds in romantic colours. He was quite sure she wasn't ready for him playing with her lower sections, no intercourse since he wasn't sure it would be right now with her pregnant. He decided to let her make the first move, and then just literally cuddle her. He had made a pre-search on pregnant women, so he knew her breasts were sore and he knew he should avoid them. But that didn't mean he couldn't massage her other places; he had nothing dirty in mind. Not for now.

"I am going to give you a nice massage, my lovely wife," he whispered and helped her out of her wedding dress. She looked absolutely beautiful in knickers and a bra, not forgetting her large belly.

And so the newly weds spent the evening on cuddling, massaging, and kissing each other lightly. They played around as much as they now could. The Snape Manor had a pool, where the bridal couple slipped in, and enjoyed each other. When it became late they wrapped themselves into each other's arms, naked and only covered with their love and a silk sheet. Severus had his arms around her and gave her a last kiss, before they fell asleep, dreaming pleasantly about their future together and how much they loved each other.

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**A/N:** Next chapter is their alternative way of reaching their **_release_.**


	24. to me thy are chocolate free

**A/N: Thank you all for reviewing. Sorry I haven't updated, I know Í'm a bitch. Here's the next chappie! Remember to review!****

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR – to me thy are chocolate free**

_What is it men in women do require?_

_The lineaments in Gratified desire._

_What is it women in men do require?_

_The lineaments in Gratified desire._

**William Blake**

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"Good morning, Mrs Snape," a husky voice purred deliciously in Hermione's ear, and she grinned, though keeping her eyes shut. Body against body.

"Good morning, Mr. Snape," she whispered back, and felt Severus kiss her closed eyes, before kissing her mouth. Slowly she opened her eyes and gazed at her husband, who lay with slightly ruffled hair and a smile as he watched her awakening.

"You look beautiful," he informed, which earned him a snort from Hermione in mirth.

"One of the disadvantages of marriage: you get to see me in the morning," she smiled, knowing that in the morning she looked like she had been dragged through a hedge, backwards. He gave her a smile and kissed her again.

"I wouldn't have it otherwise," he whispered intensely, shocking her almost with the intensity and emotions in his deep voice. There was a moment of pause, where Hermione smiled to him and then leaned to kiss him deeply. "I would love to stay here all day, but I am afraid I have a surprise for you. Sleep and I will get you soon," Hermione didn't want to sleep, but she was rather tired, since all the wedding things had taken much of her spirit. She closed her eyes as Severus moved to kiss them, and vaguely registered as he left the bed, leaving the bed too big for Hermione, but she fell asleep right away.

Some time later Hermione was awoken by sweet kisses, starting from the tip of her fingers. It tickled slightly, but it felt nice. He moved on from the tip of her fingers, seeing she was awake, and kissed slowly all the way up her hand, up her arm, shoulder, throat, chin and mouth.

"My beautiful bride," he whispered, "breakfast is served," Hermione's eyes fluttered open and she grasped her husband around his neck and pulled him closer, forcing him into the bed as he was standing next to it, bended slightly.

"Have I told you how much I love you? How wonderful it is to see your face when I wake up?" She questioned and then finally moved to get up, while Severus helped her up, and then found a long silk robe for her to wear. In normal circumstances a bra wouldn't have been necessary, but since her breasts were aching and rather big she felt the need for a bra. Not to mention her breasts had begun leaking milk, just a few drops, so she had bought some special bras. Then she got on the beautiful silk robe and tied it with a silk bond, before following with Severus, as he took her to his surprise.

Severus opened a door to the garden parlour. It was a large, round, sitting room, where the walls were mostly windows, except the walls connected to the house. The room used to be covered with masses of flowers, dead since his mother was no longer alive to treat them. Now the room was cleared and lit up with many floating candles throwing different light around in the room. The floor was covered with many soft pillows and in the middle of the room a round table stood, not very high, and making them have to sit on the pillows. Around the room incense burned with different smells, magically charmed so their scents wouldn't mix together. Hermione noted that the entrance of the small parlour smelled of lemon, but as she walked around in the pillows with Severus she came across orange, ginger, lavender, coconut, laurel, and rosemary. By the wall all their presents lay, waiting to be opened. In the windowsill mistletoes lay and there also lay a few on the table between the plates of food. Severus helped her sit down and then kissed the top of her head, before taking a seat himself.

"It's beautiful, Severus," Hermione informed him, her big brown eyes searching his. "I love you," she whispered and watched all the food. There were plenty, each plate topping the previous with delicious food in form of fruit. There were slices of strawberries dipped in chocolate and there were slices banana covered in chocolate. There were slices of watermelon, honeydew melon, slices of apples, slices of peaches, pear, grapes, etc, and there were whipped cream as extra along with melted chocolate. For drinking there was fresh juice with varies of tastes and there were tea too.

"So, my beautiful and beloved bride," Severus picked a strawberry slice covered lightly in chocolate with his small fork. "Upon your almost gaping expression I can safely assume that things are to your likings?" He led the fork-skewed slice of strawberry towards her, and she opened her mouth, letting it in. The taste of chocolate played with her taste bud, before it melted and the taste of strawberry took over, after which it became a sweet mix with the chocolate. She closed her eyes as she enjoyed how it tickled through her body and heated her slightly. She picked up her own small fork and found a small piece of honeydew, which she dipped lightly in some whipped cream, before letting it into Severus's mouth. Tastes were fooling his taste bud in delicious ways. His body reacted on the sweetness and a nice warm feeling was sent around in his body. They teased each other by feeding each other with fruit, which would tease their senses the best. When they were finally done the pair lay between the many pillows, wrapped up in each other's arms and kissing lightly and lovingly. Slowly kisses subsided and they lay, looking into each other's eyes, watching every fraction and every difference in the pools. Then when they had lain there for some time Hermione kissed the tip of Severus's crooked nose and smiled smugly and made to crawl over to the presents. Severus followed her lead.

They sat between pillows again, Severus with Hermione between his leg, her back to his chest. Hermione picked a present and leaned into Severus's chest, allowing Severus to twist his arms around her so he could join the unwrapping.

They got baby toys, baby clothes, and baby blankets. Mrs Weasley had even gone as far as knitting a baby blanket with the Snape name embroidered with green and red. They also got perfumes for themselves, light jewellery, books, books, and plenty of books. Books about babies and their many stages. Books about baby deceases. They also got a Karma Sutra book, which surprised Hermione and Severus, but they were nonetheless pleased, and they got fairytale books and they architect books, in case they wanted to make the perfect nursery or something else, and they got bath towels with the names 'Severus and Hermione' and broidered along with hearts in Slytherin and Gryffindor colours. Hermione laughed at Severus's expression, but he didn't say anything. They got potion books, wand books, pre-school baby books (which Hermione and Severus suspected was rather early to start on).

"That's typical Albus, that old goat," Severus growled, but not in displeasure.

"Can you get out soon so mommy can try this out," Hermione told her babies. Albus had given them a box with delicious chocolates in different shapes. On the box it said it was made for lovers and each chocolate would create a sensation and a building lust. It seemed to be some sort of game, eatable game… Very interesting. It didn't say which shape created which sensation in the body, so you'd have to try it out.

They also got millions of other games for couples to play. Some games much more perverse than others, and some rather humorous.

They got a lot of other magical and stimulating sweets, but since Hermione was pregnant they couldn't try it out yet, which put Hermione in a slightly foul mood, since she felt rather moist from their little fruit game. She knew Severus had been aroused too, since she had seen his bulge, but decided to pretend she hadn't, though she much felt like just opening his silk robe and just grasp his pulsing cock and…

Her train of thoughts were broken when Severus removed some of her hair and kissed her neck. She leaned her head back and let a soft moan escape her throat as she felt herself being aroused further.

"Isn't there some way for us," she moaned she lay back into the masses of pillows. Her eyes locking with his as he looked at her with a dirty smile, telling he liked to tease her. She felt a light hand on her thigh and he looked into her eyes deeply, indicating her to say stop when she didn't want to go further. But Hermione did not say stop, too aroused. Her breath became slightly heavy as he stroked her through her decent spot of hair and around on her folds, before gently parting them. As he parted them it was like sluices opening, making her juices run slightly. He leaned down and captured her lips with his, while his hand was moistening her folds and teasing her sensitive knot, making her moan softly. She felt close, very close, and she pressed herself closer to Severus. She cupped his face desperately, keeping his head close to hers as she sucked on his lips, played with his tongue with her own, getting more brutal in her kissing the closer she got to an orgasm. "Severus!" She gasped while kissing him, and then she made a soft jerk, followed by a shudder, as she came. Her chest was rising and falling heavily from her orgasm.

"Not fair," she mumbled, taking a few minutes before regaining herself with a devilish thought. Severus smirked at her, but it vanished quickly when he watched her mouth growing into a smug smirk. Before he knew of it Hermione had pushed him off her and down into the pillows.

"Her-" he was about to say her name, but she hushed him with a deep kiss. She could feel a light shiver running through him, and she was surprised to find him anxious. Better release it, she mused and let go of him. He lay, looking almost vulnerable and insecure in front of her, and she moistured her lips lightly, before moving to sit better, keeping her eyes locked with his, watching his every move. _Yes, two can indeed play one game,_ she informed him mute and opened his silk robe. Beneath she could she his cock, hard and stirring with lust. It had been hard for some time and she now wanted to play with it. Her eyes caught his, he seemed anxious, and she gave him a smug smile before kissing him of his lips, letting her fingers grasp his pulsing cock. He made a low moan into her mouth as she touched it, and she felt his cock reacting to her touch with a slight stir. She rubbed it gently for some time, touching every fraction of his lower body. Squeezing his balls gently, making him moan deeper. She could feel them hardening too, and then she slowly stopped kissing him, starting to kiss his chin. She stopped and crawled over to the table, where she found a small bawl with melted chocolate, charmed to stay slightly warm so it kept its melted stage. She smirked as his questionable quirking eyebrow and then moved back to him. She let the spoon obtain a lot of the melted chocolate, before letting it fall onto his throat and chest and stomach. He gave a low shudder by the sensation and then Hermione slowly licked his throat clear from chocolate, and then she followed the chocolate path across his Adam's apple, she followed the chocolate further down his shaved chest. She had told him before that she liked a clean chest and knew he liked it too anyway, so it wasn't a problem. Some of the chocolate had been spilled over his nipple, and she took great pleasure in making sure it was clean again. She could feel him shiver pleasantly beneath her; his cock was aching for her touch again. He was grasping the pillows, restraining himself from grasping her, and do all the wonderful things he had fantasised about for so long.

Soft moans escaped from him and she realised that she liked having the control. She liked to hear him moan. It excited her further and she let the nipple go and continued her original chocolate-covered path. Around his navel she stopped again, sliding her tongue around it slightly, before moving on again. Then the chocolate path ended and Hermione glanced up at him. He was looking up into the ceiling, trying to control himself, and then she grasped his cock with both hands, while watching his expression and his breathing. A single touch and it changed instantly. His breath became slightly ragged and his chest was rising and falling in an unsteady rhythm. She smiled as she slipped his delicate skin back, revealing the head completely, and then she let it go again, still watching his expression. She felt powerful.

Slowly she lowered her head downwards, still trying desperately not to lose sight of his expression, though soon it became impossible for her to see it. Her tongue touched the edge of his head and slid around, obtaining his pre-sperm. She could feel how he desperately tried to control himself. After all, it was quite some time since he had had any sex, and she wasn't sure if he had done anything himself. Perhaps she just turned him on, really much. That thought made her happy. That he could get so hard over her, and she let his pulsing cock into her mouth, earning a loud unsteady breathing from him. She sucked as she played with his balls with her hand, touching every little bit. She licked it desperately and lovingly, and not soon later Severus gave a loud cry and removed her head and turned his cock towards his stomach, where white substance splattered onto in masses. She licked her lips greedily, but both weren't sure it would be good for her now as she was pregnant. She muttered a quick cleaning spell and moved upwards again, letting his cock get some rest. His breath was still rather uneven, and Hermione smiled mentally by her job. One leg on each side of him, and her hands of each side too, so crawled upwards and kissed him lightly on his mouth, before letting their cheeks meet as she slid towards his ear, which she gently nibbled playfully.

"Was that to your liking, my dearest husband?" She whispered in a husky voice, almost making his cock rise again. He could hardly speak, and therefore only nodded dumbly. She lay down next to him and enjoyed his half-covered body next to her.

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	25. back to Hogwarts

**Thank you ALL for reviewing. Hope you like this chappie!

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - back to Hogwarts**

Love sees what no eyes sees; love hears what no ears hears; and what never rose in the heart of man love prepares for its object  
William Blake

Hermione was watching her beloved husband, who lay next to her in bed. Today they would be going back to Hogwarts, start up their lives again. She sighed mentally for having to leave. Snape Manor had become her home, not only in name but in the feeling as well. All she wanted was to lie in this bed and wake up and see Severus's face next to hers. She smiled lovingly by his calm expression and his ruffled hair. He had done so much for her to make things perfect, and she had no idea of how to return it.

"Enjoying watching me?" He questioned after a while. She sighed loudly. Never had she been awake when he was not. He was always awake when she was, even at night!

"Do you pretend to sleep, but is in truth awake all the time?" She questioned and kissed the tip of his nose, which she had done every morning since they got married.

"You should know by now that I am inhuman," he teased in a slight drawl, making him sound almost serious. He opened his eyes and leaned to kiss her good morning. "How is my lovely wife doing this morning?" He questioned interested.

"I am doing quite fine, though I am longing for your sweet touch," she said huskily. "And how are you feeling?" She moved closer, though it was barely possible because of her belly. He nibbled her ear teasingly.

"Happy, wonderful, everything good. I have you next to me…" he replied and kissed her lightly. "Though I admit that the three weeks we've been gone has gone quick fast," he informed and Hermione nodded dull.

Severus had packed everything along with Hermione. Their things were shrunken and they were ready to go. Severus walked around the manor to check that everything was in order. He had some rather dreadful memories from this place, and he had informed Hermione about it too. His mother had been a good woman and had at the age of twenty been given away to Severus's father, who was almost 25 years senior. For some reason they fell in love and created a baby, him, but their love was shattered by the pureblood image. His mother resented the pureblood mania and all their rules, and his father was captured and caught by it. Eventually, piece by piece, their marriage cracked. First small fights, then she had disobeyed to be the perfect mother and wife, as Severus's father wanted her to be. Eventually Augustus Lokoja became abusive towards Miranda and had once hit her near a staircase, in their summer residence, resulting her falling down and breaking her neck, dying on the spot.  
Severus refused to dwell on those unpleasant memories. He would never be like that, he had told himself so over and over again. It was his father's fault that Severus had ended up a Death Eater, and no more should his father ruin.

"Sev?" Hermione questioned, shortening his name. He turned towards her surprised, his skills as an observant and good-listening spy failing him.

"Hermione," he breathed out and smiled. She saw the look of sorrow in his eyes before they changed joyful. She knew why he was sad, and the best she could do was be there for him. She moved over to him and leaned up and kissed him. "Ready?" He whispered.

"No," she moaned, not wanting to leave. He chuckled and kissed her forehead while holding her close. He wasn't ready to leave either. Right now he would very much lie up in the bed with her, holding her close. He wondered if her escapades would continue back at Hogwarts, they probably would. She apparently, to his likings, found out she very much liked to please him, and sometimes when she awoke in the night, he'd ask what was wrong, and then she'd duck under the covers and down to his lower sections. She was quite fascinated by his manhood and she certainly showed her care and love for it, many, many times a day, and night!

"Come, my love," he asked and followed her over to the fireplace they'd be using to get to Hogwarts. They stepped inside and held closely around each other, before Severus spoke the words, which would take them two almost a whole new world instead of the quiet one they were in now.

"Severus, Hermione," Albus stood from his seat and greeted the pair happily. "How was your vacation?" He questioned and the pair snuggled closer.

"Short," the answer came in unison and the headmaster chuckled.

"Indeed," he mumbled and stroked his beard. "Lemon drop?" He conjured a plate and Hermione immediately seized on. She was eight months along and her appetite had increased a lot. She was hungry all the time, hence perhaps the reason to her new hobby… "Thank you for your letter, and you're most welcome" the headmaster informed. Severus and Hermione had written to every single guest and thanked them for attending the wedding and for their gift.

"You're welcome. Now we'll be going to our quarters, headmaster," Severus informed. "See you tomorrow…"

"Aren't you going to attend dinner?" Albus wondered.

"As much peace as possible before meeting all the beasts," Severus replied and followed with a grinning Hermione out. Hermione called her goodbye, and then Severus closed the door and followed her to their quarters, holding hands. They didn't meet many students, but those they met seemed rather horrified to see their Potion Master back, and smiling! Holding hands! Married! Wife!  
They entered their quarters and slumped into the couch, cramped together.

"Severus, are you hungry?" Hermione questioned, sounding slightly exhausted.

"Not really," he replied, sounding just as exhausted. Almost.

"Are you sure?" She questioned pleadingly.

"Maybe a bit," he said, knowing that she apparently was hungry. "What do you want?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Whatever you want," she replied dull.

"Suppose I could eat some German. They have some nice stakes and the house elves are really good at making it too…" he informed in a dead voice.

"Sure you couldn't go for French?" She questioned all too innocently and he chuckled.

"French is good too," he informed. "Luckily I am quite sure the house elves wouldn't mind cooking both…" she made a low sniff in disgust. True, she hadn't forgotten her S.P.E.W club! She wrinkled her nose as she watched as Severus untangled himself from her and went to the fireplace to order their meals.

"Severus, the nursery!" Hermione beamed as she noticed a door, which she was quite sure hadn't been there when she had left. She got up and followed with Severus over to the new door, and entered. It was a dark room, though with windows but since it was winter no light lit through. Severus muttered a charm, and flames of fire flew out into the room. It was large, at least enough for two things of each. It was split in two by an invisible wall, the one side was pink, and the other side was blue.

"We're having one boy, and you feel the other is a girl?" Severus questioned softly, kissing his wife's cheek.

"Madam Pomfrey couldn't see its gender for the boy, but I have a feeling it's a girl yes, so the colours match. Suppose he knows it too," she tried to keep away bitterness from her voice, but remembering how annoying Dumbledore could be, when messing in private things, was really overwhelming. She cared deeply for the man, and she had always done so since she was a friend of Harry, who shared a unique relationship with the man.  
There was a low plop and a house elf appeared with their food, which it put on the dinner table, after which it disappeared again.

"Dinner is served," Severus whispered and led Hermione to dinner.  
Hermione found it utterly nice that she could question everything Severus did, because his job and knowledge intrigued her, and Severus was pleased to know that Hermione was so eager to get to know him. They talked for hours, through dinner and then into the bed where they would lie down due exhaustion. Slowly their talk subsided as both felt tired, and last kisses, intense and hungrily, were made before both fell asleep, wrapped up in each other.

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**A/N: next time she'll be giving birth! Woohoo!**


	26. infant joy

**A/N: There's been a few reviews about Titanic sunk in 1912 instead og 1914, screw that. I am aware that there's a few date mistakes, and to my written errors then I can only day I am Danish. I AM DANISH! I hope you can put aside the mistakes there are, because I don't want a BETA, because then everything takes too long... anyway... Are this story really so badly written? I'm not sure I dare want your opinion... Anyway, I suppose I should thank you very much for reading this far. The end is closing in. I hope this is a chapter you like, and please, do have a look at my other stories, especially 'Nanny Mione'...****

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX – infant joy **

**Little over Eight months along…**

Hermione had spent most of her time, after her honeymoon, visiting the Weasley's. Severus had his work, so Hermione hadn't much to do. She spent much time with Ginny, going to Diagon Alley or Hogsmaede almost every day. Otherwise they were at The Burrow, where Mrs Weasley, who was watching all her own children's children as her children were working, almost all of them, and she watched Ginny's children too of course. Hermione had wondered if there were no kindergartens, but upon researching she found that there indeed were such a place. In fact, in the far end of Hogsmaede lay a kindergarten. Mrs Weasley loved to take care of her grandchildren and Hermione knew she'd be more than willing to take care of her children too, but the problem was that Hermione would like to try out a kindergarten. She wrinkled her nose and decided not to think much of it, since there was quite some time before her children would be going.

Hermione had just come back from a meeting with Ginny, and since Severus was still teaching she had just went to their quarters to read a good book. There were some Lust & Redemption books somewhere, she was quite sure! She stretched slightly and made her way into their private _library_ to pick a book. She had barely reached the room when a great pain seized her, making her almost fall. She cried out of agony and then came the feeling of water, soaking her pants beneath her robe. **_SHIT! My water's broken! Oh god! Oh no! Severus!_ **She battled internally. Another pain seized her as she was about to grasp her necklace to call for him, and she cried out again. **_Dammit, not now! _**She screamed mentally, and finally got the time to squeeze necklace. She stood, half bended, breathing in and out in rhythms to steady herself, and mere seconds later Severus came flying through the door, scanning the room for her. He flew over to her and looked at her worried and panicked.

"My – water broke!" She said between intakes of air.

"But- but… It's too early!" He gasped and Hermione gritted her teeth.

"Mrs Weasley warned me! - Said that it could happen since - I'm having twins!" She informed.

"What shall I do?" He asked anxiously.

"JUST GET ME TO THE BLOODY HOSPITAL!" She almost screamed and Severus swooped her off the ground and hurried over to the fireplace.

"Hospital wing, Hogwarts!" He called and both closed their eyes in the seconds it took to get there. She moaned hurt in his embrace and he hurried out of the fireplace. "Poppy, it's now," Severus called and the medi-witch took the pair to a private room where Hermione had previously lived when she had just been told she was pregnant. He lay her down and her face contorted into an expression of hurt. "Hermione?" He whispered quietly, anxious as she was.

"Get the hell out, you-!" Whatever was followed was drowned by a moan of pain, and Severus moved back shocked.

"Don't worry, Severus," Poppy smiled at the young male, who looked confused. "It's quite normal that women get a bit… tetchy in such situations…" she explained and Severus nodded fractionally in understanding. He wasn't sure if he should leave, so he decided to let her decide.

"I'm.NOT.tetchy!" She informed, trying to focus on relaxing.

"Hermione, do you want me to wait outside?" He questioned softly as he moved over to her.

"Yes…" he made to leave, but she grasped his robes and shook her head. "NO!" Another pain seized and Severus had a hard time watching how she writhed lightly in agony, while Poppy made things ready.

"We're not quite ready yet," Poppy measured the size of her _exit_.

"You're a witch, aren't you? Do some bloody magic!" Hermione almost screamed and held onto Severus's cloak tighter. "Severus, tell her to use magic!" Hermione looked at Severus sternly, who looked at Madam Pomfrey horrified.

"You know I can't use magic, dear," Madam Pomfrey informed, smiling.

"Don't smile! You're not the one lying here!" Hermione almost cried and Severus nuzzled her hair. "Dammit, Severus! My hair is enough nest as it is!" She sneered and Severus looked at her pained, but then a pain seized Hermione, and she bit back a scream.

"Just a bit more, dear," Madam Pomfrey notified and Hermione hit Severus.

"I swear, Severus Snape, this is YOUR fault!" She was looking rather scary now, Severus noted, and he tried to smile to her, but she only narrowed her eyes.

"Hermione," Severus whispered lovingly, "you can do this, and you're a strong woman…"

"THE HELL I'M NOT!" She screamed at him, "You're not the one lying here! I'd like to see you going through this!" She sneered and tried to hit him again. Severus opened his mouth, but was cut off: "If you mention anything about Gryffindor courage I swear I'll kill you!" Severus closed his mouth again. Another pain.

"Now, Hermione. We're ready," Poppy informed and then shifted her gaze to Severus. "Help her breathe in and out steadily!" Poppy informed and Severus did so, breathing in rhythms as Hermione. He gave her his hand for her to squeeze if it hurt, and he wondered if he should ever had allowed her that opportunity, since he was quite sure he wouldn't be able to use it later. It felt like she had broken every bloody bone in his hand! "Hermione, the contractions are not far apart. We can begin. Now, on my count you push. One, two, three: PUSH!" Poppy asked and Hermione pushed the best she could, letting out a cry in hurt, squeezing Severus's hand as tight as possible.

"Again!" Poppy called, and Severus felt the bone in his hand getting crushed by Hermione's rough treatment. "Almost there. I can see the head. PUSH!" Hermione pushed all she could and then felt the pain lessening slightly, as the first child was out. "A BOY! A beautiful little boy!" Poppy exclaimed and took the boy over to the table, where she cleaned him with a quick spell and put on a sleeping charm for now. "Now, the last one, Hermione," she informed. "Breathing is fine?" Hermione couldn't speak so she nodded frantically. "Ready?" Hermione shook her head, and the witch smiled to her. "One, two, three: PUSH!" Again Hermione pushed as hard as she could, ignoring that great pain.

Severus looked over at the sleeping form, wrapped in blanket, but he hadn't much time to dwell upon the baby, because Hermione squeezed his hand again, making his attention turn rapidly towards her. He leaned and kissed her forehead loving.

"You're doing good," he told her, ignoring his own pain.

"TO HELL WITH DOING GOOD!" She screamed at him. "Oh god! I never want another child! I HATE YOU!" She informed him angrily, before another pain shoot through her, telling that the last one was close by. She cried out in pain she on Poppy's order pushed again.

"Almost there, Hermione. Just one last push! Make it big!" _I'll give you a big push, you miserable HAG!_ She informed Poppymentally. _She doesn't know how it's like!_ But Hermione pushed, taking in the pain and just push as hard as she could. "A bit more!" Poppy's voice informed and Hermione felt herself getting rather tired and exhausted. "A GIRL! It's a girl, Hermione!" Poppy informed fanatically as the last child came out. Poppy muttered a cleaning spell and wrapped up the baby.

"You were right," Severus whispered in her ear and kissed her head again. She was sweating and rather exhausted, but she was smiling and finally let go of Severus's hand. Poppy came over with both children, after having removed the sleeping charm, and they cried loudly before being put into their mother's embrace. The boy had light hair in dark brown and the girl had a few black hairs. Severus felt more proud that he could ever describe. Hermione lay with his children in her arms, looking exhausted and beautiful.

"Severus," she said, her voice strained with exhaustion and a desperate wish for sleep. Poppy took the children and helped Severus to hold them. So small and they were weighing nothing! Their eyes were closed and they had been soothed into a natural sleep. He kissed both children in his embrace on their forehead, and then he let Poppy put them into an incubator. Hermione was watching Severus interested as he looked at his children and then he looked at her.

"How are you?" He whispered and moved closer, sitting on a chair by her bed.

"Tired," she whispered and closed her eyes for a much-earned sleep, while Severus got his hand fixed by the medi-witch.

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**Please review, thanks.**


	27. thy art heavenly

**A/N: The end is soon cries hope this chapter is something you like...****

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**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – thy art heavenly **

**_INFANT JOY_**

"_I have no name:_

"_I am but two days old."_

_What shall I call thee?_

"_I happy am,_

"_Joy is my name."_

_Sweet joy befall thee?_

_Pretty joy!_

_Sweet joy but two days old,_

_Sweet joy I call thee:_

_Thou dost smile,_

_I sing the while,_

_Sweet joy befall thee!_

**- William Blake**

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Many had visited to see the babies. All cuddling them and adoring them, making pleased noises by the sight. Severus was glad to show the babies to all who'd see them, but eventually he too became tired and retreated with his wife to the dungeons with the babies. No one had yet been told the names. The nursery had been decorated already and by the window stood the rocking chair, where Hermione sat, feeding the baby-girl. Severus was watching the scene, leaning against the doorframe. The baby-boy was sleeping in his crib soundlessly, and Severus moved into the room and over to him, peeking down at him. The nose was there, almost. Not very big or crooked, since Hermione's nose had clearly tried to fix it. But there was a certain crook-iness over it, not much. Hermione looked up at him and smiled and then put her breast back into the bra, taking their girl to her crib. The room was divided not only by colour, but with sound too. If the girl cried the boy wouldn't be awoken, but Hermione and Severus would be able to hear it. 

"Fiona and Alexander," the pair spoke in unison when they stood by the door, watching the babies sleep. They looked up at each other and smiled.

"That shall be there names," Severus leaned down and kissed his wife. It was odd that she wasn't pregnant anymore, but it was rather nice too.

Severus and Hermione left the nursery and went into the sitting room, where they cuddled up in the couch. They relaxed in each other's arms and enjoyed each other. In a few months the babies wouldn't cry all the time, and Severus and Hermione could try out their wedding presents. They could barely wait.

Peace roamed for around two hours, before both babies awoke with cries, calling for mum. Severus followed Hermione into the nursery, and each picked up a baby. Hermione nursed Alexander first, while Severus comforted Fiona until Alexander had eaten, and then they switched. Together they cuddled the babies in their embrace and took them into the sitting room, to create a nice bond between each other.

* * *

A cry erupted in the night and Hermione sat up in bed with a moan. 

"Want me to go with you?" Severus had awoken too.

"No, you need your sleep so you won't get more cranky," she teased and kissed him before making her way into the nursery. Severus felt rather bad for putting the nursing of the children onto Hermione's shoulders, but he had read some of the books they had gotten, and realised that apparently they wanted mummy in the beginning of their life. No need to try and change it, he wondered rudely, though with a teasing smile to the empty room, and closed his eyes and drifted back into sleep.

That was their schedule. Hermione barely slept at night, but spent much of her time in the nursery. She slept a few hours, more like minutes, and then woke, slept a few hours again and that way she got her need fulfilled.

The children were named, Fiona and Alexander, and that was about the only happening in the otherwise regular schedule of Hermione and Severus, and their friends.

"They're so cute!" Ginny exclaimed, peeking into the twin-pram an extra time.

"Hundredth time you've said it," Hermione notified, but with a smile. They were walking through Hogsmaede, enjoying the spring. She couldn't stand being at Hogwarts these days since it was close to all the exams and people were going crazy, including Severus.

"So, have you and Severus gotten the time to… Play the game Harry and I gave you?" She flashed her eyes at Hermione innocently.

"No, not yet…" She moaned. "We keep getting interrupted by these little monsters," she hinted the babies.

"So you've only done it once, and babies came out of it," Ginny smirked. "It's a year ago now," she informed and Hermione nodded knowingly. It had been a year since Severus and her had… made love… no, it wasn't really love, more like brutal sex.

"Can't believe I've only been out of Azkaban for year," she sighed suddenly sadly and Ginny padded her arm comfortingly. "Time travels," she informed after a pause and let out some air she had been holding.

"Where are you going in the vacation?" Ginny wondered aloud.

"Home," Hermione revealed with a longing smile. "Can't wait…" she felt herself relax. "Albus asked me if I wanted to become the Arithmancy professor…"

"That's wonderful!" Ginny exclaimed with a beam.

"Can't do it yet. I've decided to take this year off too and then after the next summer vacation then Fiona and Alex will be 1,5 year old and ready for kindergarten," she informed and Ginny nodded in agree. "I am a member of some odd baby society," Ginny rolled her eyes.

"I was too. Sit around with other mothers and drinking tea and letting their children play together. Go for your children, but the other mothers are annoying!" Ginny informed horribly and Hermione laughed. They agreed to go together and the very same day Hermione and Ginny went to the Mother&Child centre, where mothers who had just given birth could come and use the toys and talk with other mothers. Many of them seemed rather surprised when she told her name, but Hermione nonetheless got to have a nice time, though probably only because of Ginny since she was the only one being sane there!

"Ginny! Fiona and Alexander aren't old enough to play with all the other babies! Let's seize the chance and get the hell out of here!" Hermione whispered desperately and Ginny laughed. "It's been nice and all that, but we'll be going again," Hermione stood and stretched a bit, before going over to pick up her children, which just lay on a blanket, looking around at all the things.

"It's been a real pleasure, Hermione," the mothers replied honey sweet.

"Yes, is _has_," she lied and followed with Ginny out along with the pram.

"Liar," Ginny smirked once they were outside. "The mothers when I went there were… nice, but these seemed… snobbish…" She made a disgusted face. "Did you see their reaction when you told who you were, married to Severus? Not only did they find out that you're _the Hermione Granger_, but also married into one of the oldest wizarding families and most respected ones too!" They made their way through Diagon Alley.

They reached the Leaky Cauldron, where Ginny used the fireplace to get her three children, and then she came back to it and they all left for the muggle world, which Hermione found to be a nice place to walk. Mark was the oldest and looked much like Harry, Alice was the middle and looked like Ginny. The last was called Matt and he looked much like his father. Matt was only one year old, while Mark and Alice were four and three. Of the Weasley children then Ginny had been the only one not to have twins, while all the others had gotten at least one set of twins. Fred and George had even gotten two pair and then one alone. It had to be something with the Weasley genes to create twins. Hermione didn't get how Mrs Weasley could keep an eye on all the children! Bill was married to a Romanian woman called Margaret and they had gotten twins, girls at the age six, and one four year old boy. Charlie had been close to marrying Fleur, but ended up with a girl from the Ministry with the name Linda. They got two children, twins, who were 5. Percy had been killed by a Death Eater of Voldemort. He had refused his family when saying that Voldemort wasn't back, but when it turned out to be the truth he had gone to Voldemort and pretend to be with him. He wanted to make up for his doings by collecting material for the light. Voldemort, however, knew the truth right away just by looking at the young man, and he was tortured and killed. Fred got married to Alicia Spinnet, now Weasley, and they got twins, boys, who were now 6, and another set of twins, two boys again, who were 3 and then one girl who was 2. George was married to Angelina Johnson, now Weasley, and together they had the same as Fred and Alicia, though, theirs were twin-girls, twin boy and girl, and then one boy. Ron and Lavender were married and had gotten twins, which were 3 years old. The age difference wasn't that big when thinking about it.

Then of course there was Ginny and Harry's children. Mark was 5, Alice four and Matt one. Everyone had waited to get married until the war was over, hence the reason of the close ages.

"Oh god! Your mother has 20 grand-children!" Hermione suddenly exclaimed after a long break.

"22," Ginny corrected. "She love you a lot…" Hermione smiled.

"Albus and Minerva have also wished to be called 'gran'," they laughed lightly as they made their war through the muggle London, watching shops. "When are you going back to work?"

"After the vacation. I cannot wait somehow, but I also dread it a bit," She revealed and Hermione nodded understanding.

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The vacation started and Hermione and Severus went home with Fiona and Alexander. Just short after they had been born Severus and Hermione had taken them to the manor, where they had decorated a nursery. 

Hermione was sitting in the shadow of a tree in the garden. Severus was lying on the ground with Alexander and Fiona, showing them toys and making them giggle. Both children had grown much already, though they were only seven months old. Both children looked a lot like Severus. Though with Hermione's nose, well almost. Alex had a bit of Severus's nose, but not much otherwise both children had Hermione's nose, but otherwise looked much like Severus, except Alexander's hair, which was brown. Otherwise both children had dark pools like Severus, though with a sparkles and happiness, which Severus's used to lack and many of the same facial lines.

"Can you say dada?" Severus questioned Fiona, who looked at him and giggled. "Da-da," he repeated steadily.

"They won't be able to speak for at least two years," she informed him, "at least not much…" She moved down onto the ground and over to the large blanket where her husband and two children lay.

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Please review. Your reviews make me happy!**


	28. sex and life afterwards

**A/N: Oh shite! This is the last chapter and right now I'm crying! You've been wonderful readers and your reviews has been wonderful. I can't even tell how much this means to me. I'd like to thank you all for reviewing and reading my story, it has meant a lot for me. If you're interested you may read my story 'Nanny Mione', it would please me.**

**I shouldn't wail too much, but get on with the story, so here we go. Have fun. And thank you sooooo much!**

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT – sex and life afterwards **

**NIGHT:**

_The sun descending in the west,  
The evening star does shine;  
The birds are silent in their nest,  
And I must seek for mine.  
The moon like a flower,  
In heaven's high bower,  
With silent delight  
Sits and smiles on the night. _

Farewell, green fields and happy groves,  
Where flocks have took delight;  
Where lambs have nibbled, silent moves  
The feet of angels bright;  
Unseen they pour blessing,  
And joy without ceasing,  
On each bud and blossom,  
And each sleeping bosom.

They look in every thoughtless nest,  
Where birds are covered warm;  
They visit caves of every beast,  
To keep them all from harm:  
If they see any weeping  
That should have been sleeping,  
They pour sleep on their head,  
And sit down by their bed.

When wolves and tigers howl for prey,  
They pitying stand and weep, -  
Seeking to drive their thirst away,  
And keep them from the sheep.  
But if they rush dreadful,  
The angels, most heedful,  
Receive each mild spirit,  
New worlds to inherit.

And there the lion's ruddy eyes  
Shall flow with tears of gold,  
And pitying the tender cries,  
And walking round the fold,  
Saying, "Wrath, by his meekness,  
And, by his health, sickness  
Is driven away  
Form our immortal day.

"And now beside thee, bleating lamb,  
I can lie down and sleep;  
Or think on him who bore thy name,  
Graze after thee and weep.  
For, washed in life's river,  
My bright mane for ever  
Shall shine like the gold,  
As I guard o'er the fold."

– **William Blake**

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Hermione slipped a piece of chocolate into her mouth, and immediately felt an arm feeling around her neck. She smiled seductively at Severus and leaned her head to the side, revealing her bare neck. Severus kissed it lightly, sending comfortable shivers through Hermione's body. Both ate another piece of chocolate, feeling the urge of desire spread through their body before settling somewhere on their body. Severus teased Hermione as he slipped his tongue around her body, finding out where the sensation of desire lay. Those chocolates from Albus were a really good gift, both mused mentally. 

Severus's hands travelled around on her body, touching every fraction of her skin. They were Australia for their honeymoon, Alexander and Fiona were able to sleep through the night, and so they could easily play little games without being disturbed. Hermione giggled as Severus touched the correct spot of desire, which the chocolate had created, and Hermione began searching Severus's body. She played with his nibbles, his cock, which was still her hobby, and then she touched his legs in sliding touches, trying to locate the sensitive spot. One of her hands were still touching his shaft, not really wanting to let it go. She moved upwards again and moved to his ears, his throat, and his neck. She found it by his neck. Before Severus could pick a chocolate piece for her, Hermione and slipped downwards and grasped his shaft firmly, making him groan surprised. Her tongue licked in wildly, wanting to taste every bit of it. Severus moaned by his wife's rough treatment. She was most possessive when involving _his_ manhood.

"Hermione," he gasped, trying to control himself. She licked it harder by him calling her name. "Oh god!" He moaned deeply as he felt close. "Please Hermione!" He moaned deeper as his wife sucked as if it was an ice cream and out in 60 degrees hot sun! Just before he came she released him, letting him hang by the edge. His breathing was uncontrolled and loud as he lay in front of her.

"You want me to stop?" She had gotten to know him quite good. She was able to stop just before he came, making him have to beg for more, or mercy.

"Hermione!" He moaned outraged by her dominating treatment.

"You're looking quite hot," she informed him. She had exercised a lot, getting her youthful body back the best she could. Her firm breasts were squeezed into a tight nurse suit, which only went to cover her delicate arse. "Not to mention that you're deluding. You know you can't call me by your wife's name, I thought we had settled that…" She whispered seductively.

"I am most sorry, nurse," he apologised deeply, knowing that if he didn't play by her rules he'd regret it. He'd done it once, actually one of the first times she dressed up, and he'd suffered from it. In the middle of everything she just left him. She was serious about their games, and he had to admit it was rather fun.

"Now you should lie down," she said in a cuddly voice and pushed him down. "I'll see what I can do to let you off from the heat. I am quite sure I know a good medicine," she informed.

"Anything you can subscribe on?" He questioned all too innocent, earning a sweet laugh from her. He watched as she laughed, her curls of brown hair swaying lightly and her breasts jumping a bit. He reached to stroke her breasts; they were most inviting. She snapped his fingers and pushed him back down.

"Now, now, Mr. Snape," she mock-scolded, "behave. We can't have you wife complaining about unethical treatment. She trust me and I would _never_ do anything she would not approve of," Hermione moistured her upper lip with her tongue, while stroking herself between her folds lightly. Severus watched her actions, eyes bulging and he had to grasp the duvet to keep him from touching her.

"My wife's a clever witch," he smirked at her; hoping flattery could make her continue with her touching him.

"Is it hard to keep your hands from me?" She questioned silvery, moving closer, though without touching him. He shook his head frantically, trying to be strong. "Does that mean you don't want to touch me?" She questioned again, and again he shook his head, indicating he'd very much like to touch her. But he couldn't. She sat wriggling in her position, trying to squeeze down the urge to stop playing and just let him take her roughly. His dark eyes glittered as he watched her wriggle. If he just grabbed her and took her roughly, then she might not object? He wasn't sure of what she'd do, but he was hard and he was aching for her. Without taking his eyes from hers he grasped her hands and tried to conquer her and get the upper hand, but for a second he lost her one hand, which resulted in her getting her wand from the nightstand and flick it. Muments later he lay in the bed, hands tied to each side of the bed.

"Hmmm…" she said, looking coolly at him. "Men are weak," she informed him coldly, "you should know better than going against the nurse, because nothing good comes from it," she warned him, her voice turning slightly soft as her gaze caught his cock, which was stirring lightly, calling for her. "It seems that you like being tied up, Mr Snape," Hermione said, looking at him interested. "Perhaps," she moved closer, "I should tie you up next time I arrive to check up on you," she was whispering in his ear. "Your wife would be most displeased with you, you know," she informed in a brisk manner. "She'd think you weren't raised good enough," her voice was polite in a brisk matter-of-fact.

"I'll behave," he informed her hoarsely. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I am afraid, Mr. Snape, that I do not trust you. Your wife specifically asked me to make sure you weren't stressed, and I've worked you up all up. I think it's best that you're tied up," she ended the argument.

"But you allowed me to touch you before!" He pointed out desperately.

"Before was a chocolate treatment, before is not now, and before has ended…" Severus groaned at this.

"Can't I get that treatment again, I think I felt much better…" he ached and she let out a soft laugh.

"Mr. Snape! You're getting quite addicted! I must find some anti-treatment so you can get un-addicted…" she mused loudly, making Severus shake his head fiercely.

"I'm not addicted, promise!" He gasped, not being able to take it anymore. He was so close and each second was bringing him closer to release.

"That's what they all say," she informed in a singsong voice. Her finger slid around on his body and then further down to his shaft. One touch and it gave a small jerk, before the white substance spluttered out of it and onto his stomach. Hermione looked at Severus with sad eyes. His eyes were closed and he was breathing uncontrolled. When he had calmed himself he looked up at his young wife's face. She was pouting at him, telling that she was most displeased with his performance and that she'd like to have swallowed his cock before release. He hated her sad expression, but what could he do? He's a man for crying out loud!

"Forgive me, nurse 'Mione, for having displeased you," he apologised deeply, and Hermione smiled.

"Forgiven and forgotten, Mr. Snape," she leaned over and kissed him gently on his mouth. He opened it slightly, but Hermione pulled away and muttered a cleaning charm. "Now, I do believe my visit has ended," she rose from the bed and made her way over to her closet. Severus watched as she went, the nurse outfit barely covered her round arse. She leaned slightly to find some clothes in the closet, revealing more and more. Severus found himself getting heated again, but he was too tired to actually manage more. She corrected her composure and laid her clothes on a chair nearby, before slipping out of her nurse outfit, which she cleaned and put into the closet. Severus followed her every move and wished he wasn't tied up so he could caress her skin, her back, and her arse. Just before she left the room she flicked her wand, and his hands became untied.

"You're welcome to join your wife in the bath," Hermione leaned against the doorframe, her clothes, which she carried, only covered bits of her. Then she left for shower, and Severus scrambled out of bed, not needing to think about his answer at all.

* * *

When their honeymoon ended Alexander and Fiona began in the kindergarten in Hogsmaede, and Hermione took over Professor Vector in Arithmancy, since the Professor was retiring. Hermione enjoyed teaching, and Severus despised it like he had always done. Nothing much changed, except Hermione getting better and better around people. When Fiona and Alexander were 2 years old Hermione got pregnant again, which was a small boy, whom they called Artemis. Hermione took a year off again, maternal leave, to take care of Artemis until he was ready to attend kindergarten, though she was still living at Hogwarts, and in vacations Snape manor. When Artemis started in kindergarten Hermione became a professor again in Arithmancy. Severus and Hermione stopped getting more children, but they didn't stop playing their dirty games! 

When Fiona and Alexander became five years old they started in elementary school, muggle, to be taught how to spell, calculate and such. Artemis followed their lead when he became five too. When Fiona and Alexander became eleven they got a letter from Hogwarts, where they oddly enough were living with mummy and daddy, telling that they had been accepted at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Both, to Severus's regret - but he was still very proud of them, were sorted into Gryffindor, where all their friends, all the Weasleys and Potters, were too. Artemis, who looked more like Hermione than Severus in looks, was surprisingly sorted into Slytherin, but that did not ruin his tight relation and love for the Gryffindors, where all he knew attended, or did.

Severus and Hermione never lost their passion, but stayed in love for eternity.

**THE END**

* * *

**I know this is a vague ending, but I sort of wanted to make sure that my readers got a glimpse into their love life, plus got to know what happened _afterwards_. I do hope you enjoyed my story, because I certainly enjoyed writing it. Please review and thank you for reading it!**


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